There are two acceptable political affiliations if you work at Google: Hyperlibertarian Paultard, or reflexively Democratic Obamamaniac. Vint Cerf, one of the guys who actually created the Internet back when it was a Pentagon-sponsored research project, and now works at Google as vice president in charge of being the guy who created the Internet, has put himself in the latter camp by officially endorsing Obama. Since Cerf is such a powerful voice, he might as well be speaking on behalf of Google itself. But the reason he's throwing Google in the Obama camp is painfully shallow and self-serving.It's all about net neutrality. What's "net neutrality"? As far as we can tell, it's a bunch of rhetoric that amounts to regulations that affirm Google's God-given right to avoid giving Internet service providers a cut of advertising revenues. An Obama presidency would mean Google can save money on lobbying fees. Well, times are tough, and every penny counts. It's good to know that even the saintly Vint Cerf votes on pocketbook issues. He's the father of the Internet, and he approved this message.

The most important thing to remember about tonight's Presidential Debate is that if you want to watch it you'll need to Tivo Project Runway. Also kindly old Bob Sheiffer will moderate and the candidates will be sitting down, at a table. Sheiffer is a genial old Texan who is probably a Republican and therefore is in the tank for McCain but that won't actually make any sort of difference. Barack Obama double-dared John McCain to make Ayers accusations to his face and McCain promised that he would but honestly we won't be surprised if he doesn't bring it up explicitly. The debates exist in their own parallel universe outside the headlines so don't expect too much substantive difference in subjects covered and arguments made. But it still might be better than last week! Because they're sitting down. Debates where the candidates sit at the same table almost always feautre more lively discussion than the boring podium ones. The candidates have a harder time delivering speeches to an audience or to the camera and they sometimes accidentally engage in discussion with each other. Or they just snipe back and forth, like Cheney and John Edwards in 2004. (That debate was awesome. GAY DAUGHTERS FOR EVERYONE!) Who knows what crazy tactic or stunt McCain will try but it will probably fall flat. Obama will be serious and cool like before. If Obama's current lead is momentum than that momentum will increase. If it is a high that will tighten as we get closer to election day (our theory!) it will tighten a bit. And you know even if it is interesting it probably won't "matter" except in the only way the last two debates "mattered": as part of the ritual of finally deciding that one of these jokers will be ok to see on tv for the next four years. The end!!!

The sad thing about tonight's debate is that the candidates will be seated, at a table, so we won't get to see McCain wandering around again. But, you know, he will still be speaking, so we imagine we'll get a couple moments along the lines of the ones collected in this video. It's McCain's Lovable Senior Moments, like when he called a questioner "you little jerk" (funny!) and when Joe Lieberman had to whisper in his ear the difference between Sunnis and Shiites (hilarious!). Intern Stephanie Dooley compiled the clip, so please send your accusations of terrible ageism to her. (Or just get over it!)

YouTube has told the McCain campaign they will not reconsider the site's standard ten-day ban on clips that draw DMCA complaints from copyright holders. D.C. insider Declan McCullagh has a copy of YouTube's reply to Monday's letter from a McCain lawyer. Recently, both Fox and CBS got YouTube to yank McCain campaign videos that remixed TV news clips. Question for Daily Kos: Why is Fox News clubbing a Republican presidential candidate? For everyone else, here's the 100-word version:

Is it the stress of the upcoming election? Earlier today Dick Cheney was rushed to the hospital after he experienced atrial fibrillation or an abnormal heartbeat. Now Nancy Reagan is in the hospital with a broken pelvis. John McCain? Still healthy, as far as we know.

John McCain and Barack Obama will face off in their third and final debate at Hofstra in a few hours. But as bad as McCain's prospects were at the start of the day, they're now getting worse by the minute. Today's plunge in the Dow—it's been down several hundred points for most of the afternoon—has led to a new low for him on InTrade, which now estimates his chances of winning the election at 1-in-5. [Clusterstock]

You know when you're drunk and trying to have some sort of heated discussion about topics and you just keep repeating the same thing, slurry verbatim, over and over again? Well slogging your way through a presidential campaign is much the same! John McCain, for example, the flailing senator blown in by the desert winds of the American Southwest, is basically giving the same speech time after time. The wizards at The Daily Show, who tend to skip the mortal plane and transcend to god-like heights during election seasons, have mashed-up McCain's speech from the Republican National Convention and his most recent nü-McCain stump oratory. And they overlap almost perfectly. I'm sure the same could be said for Obama, but we're not going to harp on it because we're just so proud of him for being so articulate. Watch the clip above.

There's a big dinner in New York tomorrow in honor of Al Smith, the first Catholic presidential candidate. Mayor Michael Bloomberg, News Corp. Chairman Rupert Murdoch, CBS News' Katie Couric and various other smug media elitists will be there, along with Sen. Hillary Clinton. The Democratic and Republican presidential nominees have been asked to give 15-minute speeches, but only one has requested an a teleprompter to keep him from just repeating "Who is the REAL Barack Obama, my friends" over and over for the entire speech. Organizers are confused, the Post reports, because they've never met a politician who couldn't give a 15-minute address without elaborate technological aids, and in fact no one has asked for a teleprompter for this event, ever, but really McCain just knows he'll be tired out from personally insulting and snubbing Barack Obama in a variety of innovative new ways at tonight's debate.

Meghan McCain, the 24-year-old daughter of John and Cindy, turned up on Fox News yesterday to promote her illustrated children's book, which was published last month because she felt it would be instructive for the kids of America to learn about her father's life story, not because she's, like, looking to cash in on her dad's presidential bid or anything. Naturally, Meghan was in gentle hands with anchor Neil Cavuto, although he did ask her at one point why it was that voters her age were overwhelmingly lining up behind Obama in November and not her supporting her dad. Meghan's answer? Younger voters aren't leaning towards Obama—that's just the liberal media telling everyone that! And she should know because, like, she has a blog, which tons and tons of young people visit every single day. So it's settled. The youth vote is a toss-up!

♦ Are Madonna and Guy Ritchie really divorcing? It might be another rumor or really a Sun exclusive, but the British tabloid says they plan to announce the split as soon as today. [The Sun]
♦ Christie Brinkley is suing Peter Cook for violating the couple's confidentiality agreement by talking about their relationship on 20/20. [NYP]
♦ The "mystery illness" that's caused Janet Jackson to cancel tour dates is supposedly a vestibular migraine, which "induces the sensation of vertigo." The good news is that now she's apparently cured. [ET]
♦ Raffaello Follieri's lawyers yesterday asked a judge to "go easy" on Raffaello in exchange for his quick return to Italy where he'll "never be heard from again." Ha! [NYDN]
♦ The 40-year-old CEO of a company called Future Tech Enterprise on Long Island is actually paying $20,000 to box Michael Lohan. And Stephen Baldwin is now planning to serve as the match judge. [Newsday via NYO]

Jim Downey was once fired from Saturday Night Live, along with cast member Norm Macdonald, for repeated "OJ Did It" jokes on Weekend Update. He eventually made his way back to the show as chief political satirist, which basically puts him near the center of both politics and pop culture this year, with his sketches, no less pointed than his OJ material, earning mention in televised debates and re-airing on cable talk shows. But the influence of Downey and his show has been artificially inflated, he tells the Observer, by fearful news networks, who would "like to make sarcastic comments about candidates , but their role as news people prevents that:"

New York magazine's daily online chats about the election are usually just mildly interesting, since the journalists involved tend to be overly polite to one another, because who knows who you're going to be sending a job application to someday? Even Gawker Media veterans and that Daily Kos maniac act all pleasant. But Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi has never been one for such fraternal niceties, and when nymag.com threw him a sparring partner from National Review, the predictably caustic lefty went to work with his fangs, at one point typing, "tell me you're not ashamed." It was awesome and just really uncomfortable at the same time. Highlights:

John McCain's bill to protect the children — Keeping the Internet Devoid of Sexual Predators Act of 2008 (KID SPA!) — has been signed by President Bush. According to an episode of Schoolhouse Rock my boss used to watch, that means it's a law. KIDSPA is based on a half-baked idea by MySpace to create a national database to track registered sexual predators' email addresses. At least now you don't have to wait for version 2.0 for fewer pedophiles. [Wired]

If John McCain and his campaign want to play the guilt by association card, the Dems just might have them beat. Sure, Barack Obama palled around with terrorists, but McCain is hiring Saddam Hussein's cronies! It's true! Investigative reporter Murray Waas reports that the guy hired to lead McCain's presidential transition team (what a wonderful job! huge salary and you don't have to do anything) is a lobbyist who once helped lobby for the Iraqi dictator back in the 1990s. It is a long and complicated story but the gist is that McCain's guy worked with two other lobbyists who later pleaded guilty to acting as unregistered agents of Hussein's government and Timmons pretended he didn't know what they were doing but he totally did. So therefore McCain gassed his own people and we need to invade him ASAP. [HuffPo]

"Overreaching copyright claims have resulted in the removal of noninfringing campaign videos from YouTube." That's the gist of a complaint from the McCain-Palin campaign's general counsel to YouTube management. The letter says YouTube's 10-day review policy hurts America, because "10 days can be a lifetime in a political campaign." It's never been proven that anyone at McCain/Palin headquarters used the DMCA to take down Sarah's swimsuit video. But no doubt being DMCA'd by Fox News for using a news clip in a campaign video has given John McCain a more personal view of how copyright laws can backfire.

Click to viewBoomp3.com One time television star Mischa Barton visited a West Hollywood liquor store to finally a bit of prep work for her presidential debate party on Wednesday night. Barton felt that the 18 pack would get her guests through the first 18 times Republican nominee John McCain says, “my friends,” and/or “maverick.” Barton said, “McCain seems pretty aware that he’s becoming a parody of himself. So, he might introduce a new catch phrase or buzz word to ruin our drinking game. Like supercalifragilisticexipialidocious.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

So of the seven million people who watched Sarah Silverman's Web video promoting "the Great Schlep" to Florida to convince Jewish grandparents to vote for Barack Obama, how many do you think actually made it to the kickoff trek? Try 100, and from the sound of things in the Times this morning, half of them didn't even have any relatives down there to begin with, so they ended up just lecturing random elderly people, like this guy. What is Sarah Silverman, chopped liver?? Actually, it doesn't matter, since the comedian didn't even show up herself, so you can't exactly blame her fans for doing likewise. There are three more weekends left, prospective schleppers, assuming your grandparents haven't already mailed in an absentee ballot. If you do make the trip, don't forget to bring the official talking points, including the ones about how Obama is a very safe type of black person:

Is People magazine totally in the tank (like Pareene) for John McCain and his non-English-speaking VP lady? We hear that some staff members of the nation's leading smiling-coverperson mag are grumbling that People is giving too much positive press to the Republican candidates—for example, this feature where they ask readers to submit questions for the Palin family, without once mentioning they engage in moose-killing and other scandalous activities! Or this, with a headline quote that will make you exclaim "Har." Besides, doesn't People know that only Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston are qualified to appear on celebrity magazine covers? Science has proven it!: Forbes did an actual pseudoscientific study of a year's worth of celebrity mags and found that Angelina and Jennifer are the two most successful coverpersons. Britney Spears: nobody cares any more. These conclusions could have also been obtained simply by sitting quietly with your thoughts. In any case, the real question is: Is People in the tank? Feel free to email us if you're an employee who thinks so. Though we would remind you of this:

Noted Bush-supporting former Trotskyite Christopher Hitchens has endorsed Democrat Barack Obama for president! In Slate today, the beloved British alcoholic raves about how Obama isn't a sad old man, like McCain, or an offensive joke, like Sarah Palin. Hitch, like a Nader voter, declares that there are no substantial differences between the candidates, but McCain's temperament is too unstable, and Obama's is much more reassuring. This is basically the argument of a number of noted conservative intellectuals who have, in recent weeks, either endorsed Obama, resigned themselves to an Obama presidency, or simply unendorsed McCain. As the intellectual conservatives abandoned Bush, now they find themselves abandoning the GOP. Atlantic blogger Andrew Sullivan was once a very prominent, very influential conservative. As recently as last year, even as he largely abandoned Bush, he was still complimenting McCain. Now, not so much. Times columnist David Brooks scarcely deserves to be called an intellectual, but as we're using that term strictly to mean "East Coast elitists who write about politics professionally" he'll have to do. This "I'm disappointed in McCain but he'll be a good president" column was but a prelude to Brooks' statement during an interview that Obama was a perceptive intellectual surrounded by impressive people and Sarah Palin is a cancer. Christopher Buckley was hardly a doctrinaire conservative. As a satirical novelist and a smart-ass, one imagines he's not too pleased with the rise of creationist rubes in his beloved GOP (his dad made that fucking bed, obvs, but that's neither here nor there). And Chris claims he wrote in George H.W. Bush in 2004 rather than vote for the son. But that's far different from explicitly endorsing a Democrat, as he did last week. Once again: Obama's temperament and obvious intelligence sealed the deal. Charles Krauthammer is basically a reliable party hack, always willing to subvert his own intelligence for the good of the party. But the once-influential psychiatrist can't help but see that his movement is not served by the buffoonery of the McCain campaign. He wrote this mild quasi-endorsement of Obama this month:

♦ Barack Obama locked up 17 newspaper endorsements over the weekend compared to just two for John McCain. [E&P]
♦ John McCain will make an appearance on Letterman on Thursday. [CNN]
♦ Don't mention the recession to Tina Brown: Her new site will burn through $18 mil. over the next three years and most staffers are making more than 100K. [AdAge]
♦ Is the tween magazine over? [AdFreak]
♦ Jon Stewart's Daily Show is heading to the Middle East. [THR]