Vice presidential expert Dick Cheney has offered his perspective on selecting a running mate to Mitt Romney and Beth Myers, who is heading Romney's search. While Cheney wouldn't divulge what he told the Republican candidate, he did offer one clear message: don't pick another Sarah Palin.

Michele Bachmann recently issued some typically stupid statements accusing Huma Abedin, Chief of Staff to Hillary Clinton and wife to Anthony Weiner, of having ties to the (gasp) Muslim Brotherhood. McCain, who is apparently in one of those moods where he acts honorably instead of cravenly, defended Abedin, whom he described as a "friend" and a "fine and decent American."

John McCain didn't mean to throw shade at Mitt Romney in his interview with Politico today: his point was that he saw Romney's mysterious tax returns when he vetted him for VP back in 2008. But what most people seem to be taking away from the interview is his explanation of why he chose Sarah Palin over Romney — "Because we thought that Sarah Palin was the better candidate."

Arizona's Secretary of State Ken Bennett is the latest politician to call President Obama's birth certificate into question. Following Sheriff Joe Arpaio's investigation into the document, Bennett has now also identified the birth certificate as a forgery. He is demanding authentication from the state of Hawaii.

Wonder of wonders! Prominent republican and former presidential candidate John McCain has come forward and said something almost entirely sensible about the contraception debate.

John McCain knows a thing or two about nasty. Appearing on NBC's Meet the Press, he reflected on the current campaigns for a Republican presidential candidate to face off against Obama in November. Romney, Santorum, and Gingrich have all been criticized for waging war against each other in the form of attack ads in key primary states.

Subject line of a press release that made me freak out just now: "MEGHAN McCAIN IN PLAYBOY'S APRIL ISSUE."

Last night's white glower rally in Michigan was supposed to tell us something novel and important, instead of mumbling vague phrases we've heard before. This time, we thought, a GOP primary vote would be decisive, recasting the narrative for the future, solidifying positions and increasing momentum.

Here's HBO's teaser for its upcoming adaptation of Mark Halperin and John Heilemann's book Game Change, the definitive account of gossipy things that people told Mark Halperin and John Heilemann during the 2008 presidential campaign. This clip suggests that, well, Sarah Palin may not be portrayed very nicely?

Last week the U.S. Senate passed 93-7 a version of the National Defense Authorization Act that includes provisions giving the military the right to detain you forever and without charge if they think you're some kind of terrorist. Consider it an early holiday present! There is no exchange policy, sorry.

It's time for your daily dose of news about the important debates taking place in the World's Greatest Deliberative Body, the United States Senate. What critical public policy issues are its senior statesmen debating in good faith today? Who knows! Sens. John McCain and Chuck Schumer are pretending to fight over a Long Island joke, though. That's something, ain't it?

Ann Coulter was bleeped for 13 seconds on Tuesday's Morning Joe after calling John McCain a douchebag. Or so we thought! Because in an interview with Joy Behar tonight, Coulter explained that she actually called McCain a "dickweed." Coulter then launched into a rant bemoaning HLN's obsession with "that white trash bimbo" Casey Anthony for good measure. Balance!

Many years ago when you were young, back in 2006, a wizened old man named John McCain made a joke that Congress' approval rating was so low, "we're down to paid staffers and blood relatives."

The congressional supercommittee established in the debt ceiling deal has about a month left to come up with trillions in deficit reduction and then move its plan through Congress, lest the dreaded "trigger" go into effect that would viciously cut defense spending and more. So what if the supercommittee gets stuck on, say, tax increases that Republicans will never accept? Will they just give up and let the trigger go into effect? Nope! Old man John McCain let us onto the real Plan B yesterday.

The Arizona Tea Party constituents who helped reelect John McCain last year are shocked, shocked to hear that he would then go on to make fun of them, by calling them "hobbits" on the Senate floor, immediately after starting his new term.

Yesterday, Sen. John McCain took to the Senate floor to blast the Tea Party for resisting John Boehner's plan to solve the debt ceiling crisis, at one point referring to its members as "Hobbits" from The Lord of the Rings. The Tea Party then shot back at McCain, comparing him to the fantasy novel's villain, Sauron. Stephen Colbert took the opportunity on tonight's Report to extend the unlikely metaphor to the rest of Washington. Video of the segment is above.

Crabby old rust sandwich John McCain took to the Senate floor today to lambast the dead-ender Tea Partiers in his own political party's House wing, who have been meeting Speaker Boehner's final debt ceiling offer with some resistance. What a saint! Let's just forget the last couple of years of McCain, now that he has criticized the extremely criticizable House Republicans.

Republican presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty tries so hard to be loved, and yet. He makes exciting action films on a regular basis, he's apologized for once believing in science, he's released a cartoonish parody of a Republican economic plan, and he's all about the Jesus stuff. He is a full-service pander shop but scares away all the customers. What else can he do at this point? Go nuts about war, obviously.

Last weekend, Sen. John McCain made headlines when he inexplicably accused illegal immigrants of starting the wildfires currently ravaging Arizona. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart pointed out the absurdity of McCain's statements before conducting an interview with a McCain puppet—yes, a real puppet—about all of the other horrible things illegal immigrants have done to him.

Did you want 74-year-old crank John McCain to run for president again? Well, sorry. He said today that "there's a long history of masochism in my family, but not so severe" as to make him go through that again. [AP]