Take that! In the game of tabloid one-upmanship that is Brad Pitt vs. Jennifer Aniston, Pitt has now issued his own volley meant to counteract Aniston's recent, attention-getting John Mayer praise (he thinks thoughts!). While talking to E!'s Giuliana Rancic at the Benjamin Button premiere, Pitt extolled on Angelina Jolie's beauty. "I get up some mornings and gasp," he said. Sadly, the simple remark ratcheted Aniston's Uncool-ometer from "Just Chillin'" to "Bogus." [E!]

Though John Mayer will open up about Jennifer Aniston to any paparazzi within shouting distance, Aniston has remained relatively tight-lipped about the troubadour in the press. But again, something about those wily Brits seems to elicit confession, and so it is that Aniston did so much high-voltage gushing about Mayer to the Daily Mirror that she could power an entire In Touch office for a whole year:

♦ Either Mariah Carey is pregnant or she's determined to do whatever it takes to stay in the spotlight. The diva was spotted looking "ebullient" on her way out of an OB/GYN's office in LA, where she was greeted by a cheering entourage and seen clutching "what looked like a sonogram." [P6, Mirror]
♦ Kate Moss skipped champagne and wore a loose dress to a Vogue event in China, which means she must be pregnant, too. [The Sun]
♦ In an upcoming issue of O, Oprah says she's "fallen off the wagon" and now weighs 200 lbs. But she blames it on her "out-of-balance thyroid," which gave her "a fear of working out." [AP]
♦ Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich watching soccer at Nevada Smith's in the East Village with girlfriend Dasha Zhukova? We can hardly believe it. [P6]
♦ Steve Schwarzman insisting on remaining centerstage at yesterday's Vanity Fair photo shoot? That sounds likely. [P6]

Sarah Jessica Parker and son James surveying Christmas trees in the West Village ... John Mayer leaving Sony's offices on Madison and 55th ... Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and Suri getting out of an SUV outside their apartment ... Kate Winslet walking into the "Times Talks" event on West 41st Street ... Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze holding hands outside the Gotham Independent Film Awards at Cipriani Wall Street ... Britney Spears heading into her birthday party at Tenjune, and Alessandra Ambrosio leaving the party a few hours later... and Peaches Geldof wrapping her face in a scarf to avoid having a photographer take her pic.

Agyness Deyn hailing a cab in Soho ... Reese Witherspoon walking around the city with a friend before appearing outside the Letterman show yesterday evening ... Nicole Kidman speaking at an event for the United Nations ... Jay-Z and Beyoncé sitting courtside at the Knicks game last night, and then Beyoncé performing on the Today show this morning ... and John Mayer leaving his apartment building last night with a FedEx package in hand.

Jennifer Aniston's face adorns the cover of this week's New York Times Magazine. Despite her current remarks in the interview therein about how annoying it is when people take camera phone pictures of her and sell them to feed their family, Ms. Aniston would like to reassure you that she loves images of herself as much as you do. After all, she's done photo shoots with about 8,000 magazines this month, most of which have already folded. Is she a hypocrite? We'll give her a break, and let the author of The Rules give her some helpful advice about dealing with her anger:Despite posing for Vogue and every other magazine imaginable, Aniston only likes it when the mainstream media profits for her image, as she relates in the NYT interview:

♦ Guy Ritchie and Madonna's marriage came to an official end in the High Court of London courtroom this morning. Neither "Ciccone ML" or "Ritchie GS" actually showed up in person for the proceedings, but Madonna had drinks with ex-husband Sean Penn on Wednesday night, possibly as part of an early celebration. [People, The Sun, P6]
♦ The longest pregnancy in history is finally over: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz welcomed a son named Bronx Mowgli Wentz into the world last night. Yes, that's Bronx Mowgli. [People]
♦ According to The Sun, Michael Jackson has converted to Islam and has changed his name to "Mikaeel." [The Sun]

When she's not dancing through her Malibu mansion belting "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On it)" into her hairbrush, Jennifer Aniston likes to curl up with a good book and a bad singer and watch a little TV (Stars! They're just like us — well, not us us, because we've got a cobwebbed DVR list that still includes episodes of this exciting new show called "Presidential Debates" that we have yet to finish. Don't spoil us!). During her sojourn on the sofa, Aniston has rediscovered all twenty-eight seasons of her hit tee-vee show Friends, an exciting development that her actual friends are quick to poop all over:

• Anne Hathaway's new actor boyfriend "went after all the young heiresses" when he was at Brown University, which makes him as terrible for her as jailed fraudster Raffaello Follieri, according to Page Six's tipster. [P6]

♦ Although her life looks like it's finally back on track, a new documentary suggests Britney Spears thinks her new life is like prison and lacks "excitement" or "passion." Hopefully she'll be in a better mood in two weeks when she makes an appearance at the Rockefeller Center tree lighting ceremony. [The Sun, OK!]
♦ Could Anna Wintour be planning to retire? Page Six says the Vogue editor is thinking about leaving the mag once her contract is up, and she's even been recommending possible replacements to Si Newhouse. [P6]
♦ Kiefer Sutherland may be planning to move to NYC so he can be closer to his girlfriend, Allure style director Siobhan Bonnouvrier. [Daily Star]
♦ Madonna is reportedly making $10 million to appear in her new Louis Vuitton ad campaign. [P6]

Kelly Ripa jogging in Central Park ... John Mayer pulling up to the Bowery Hotel in his Porsche Cayenne ... Natalie Portman sitting down on the set of her new film ... Leighton Meester on the set of a new ad campaign for Reebok ... Philip Seymour Hoffman walking home after having brunch in SoHo ... Russell Brand leaving the Four Seasons hotel on East 57th Street ... Salma Hayek and daugher Valentina standing on the set of 30 Rock ... Debra Messing walking down Madison Avenue ... Katie Holmes leaving her apartment in the East Village ... Jessica Alba filming scenes for her new movie in the Bronx ... and Justin Timberlake arriving at Dos Caminos for the SNL afterparty, which Jennifer Aniston attended, too.

[Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer heading back to their Manhattan hotel, from here. Click for the full version.]

[Actress Jennifer Aniston (who was funny on "30 Rock" last night!) with her on again, off again boyfriend singer John Mayer, in Soho last night; image via INF] homobot v3.0's new line beats the original, "Stop Paying Attention To Us! Wait Wait Wait, No. Don't Stop."

John Mayer shopping at Paragon Sports on Broadway and later leaving Gold Bar in SoHo with Jennifer Aniston (left) ... Jeff Daniels riding around town on a tiny bike ... Miley Cyrus arriving at the Sirius studios in Midtown for an appearance on Howard Stern's show ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school in the West Village ... Regis Philbin and Don Rickles arriving at ABC's studios ... Famke Janssen crossing the street with her dog ... Leighton Meester hanging out on the Gossip Girl set ... Katie Holmes talking on her cell phone ... and Natalie Portman leaving her trailer on the set of her new film.

• Brad Pitt said it was uncool for ex Jennifer Aniston to say his wife Angelina Jolie is uncool. Or, as he puts it, he was "totally thrown." [Sun-Times ]

"I am not darker, angrier or moodier these days... All that's happened is that I've given up on trying to find a way to use unwanted media as a form of entertainment." That's what the large-headed singer of sensitive fuckjams tells us via his blog. [US Weekly]

• Fameball and celebrity spawn Peaches Geldof, 19, was shocked to learn her secret wedding to musician Chester French, 24, may not, in fact, "last forever." In fact it may not last 100 days, pending the results of yet another secret getaway. [Sun]

• So Anderson Cooper told Ellen DeGeneres "Honey, I don't even know where to begin" with NeNe from Real Housewives of Atlanta. That was Tuesday. Now NeNe is inviting the CNN anchor to ogle her chest and "get down and dirty" and have some "brown sugar." Her husband, an obvious CNN viewer, is totally fine with this.

♦ You weren't the only one who stayed up to watch election results. Brad Pitt and Oprah watched the festivities from Grant Park in Chicago. Harvey Weinstein had a party at Public House attended by James Franco, Josh Lucas and Jessica Alba. Robin Williams and Billy Crystal watched Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert live. And in LA, Courteney Cox and David Arquette hosted an Obama victory party attended by Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer and Sacha Baron Cohen, among others. [R&M, E!]
♦ Star is standing by its Jennifer Aniston pregnancy story. The mag claims she's undergoing fertility treatments so she can get pregnant by her 40th birthday in February. [Star]
♦ Are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes planning to have another baby? [OK!]

• Madonna and Alex Rodriguez helicoptered to the Hamptons, spent four hours in a house with Jerry Seinfeld and possibly Seinfeld's wife, then helicoptered back home. Must have been quite a dinner party. [Post, Sun]