Your 20s are meant to be a time of self-reflection and discovery. Bad decisions are inevitable. Amal El-Wahabi knows all about bad decisions. In January, the 28-year-old tried to smuggle money to her husband—a member of ISIS—by concealing it in her friend's underwear. The plan, for obvious reasons, failed.

Shannon Maureen Conley, the 19-year-old Denver, Colorado resident who fell in love with an ISIS militant online, pleaded guilty today to "providing material support" to ISIS. She's agreed to provide the FBI information about her conspirators, but she still faces up to five years in jail and a $250,000 fine.

NBC News just broke the fascinating news about a 33-year-old Southern Californian with a crazy Twitter account who has been killed in Syria fighting for ISIS, Al Qaeda's uglier, nastier little brother:

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, shadowy leader of the jihadist group that's taken over much of Iraq and self-appointed leader of the world's Muslims, made an unprecedented public appearance at the beginning of last week—and was promptly criticized for being a sheikh with a chic fashion watch.

Perhaps it was really a lesson on Beckett-like absurdism in our modern political culture. Perhaps it was just a moronic dipshit with 1.5 brain cells and a Radio Shack catalog. Whatever the explanation, the accidental boom in a suicide-bombing class made for good copy in today's Times:

So a full eight years ago, then-Sen. Rick Santorum made an offensive slippery-slope argument with regards to legalizing gay marriage and how it would lead to constant bestiality everywhere. Some folks on the Internet responded by pulling a Google prank that forever links his name to frothy anal discharge. But this doesn't still bother Santorum, does it? Railing against it isn't, say, a part of his stump presence nowadays?

The Wall Street Journal has new details on what intelligence, exactly, we got from the Abbottabad compound Osama bin Laden was living in when he was hunted down and killed by Navy SEALs. Top among the discoveries: Bin Laden wanted to mark the 10th anniversary of 9/11 with another 9/11.

So which secret fairy-tale chamber in the skies or, alternately, below the earth's crust, is Osama bin Laden kickin' it in these days?

Zachary Chesser, the 21-year-old man who threatened violence against South Park's creators for depicting Mohammad on teevee, was sentenced to 25 years in jail today for inciting violence and providing material support to terrorists. He regrets doing these things.

Instant messaging conversations allegedly written by Emerson Begolly reveal him as anti-Semitic, extreme, armed and dangerous. But they also reveal what he claimed was the genesis of his extremist views: an interaction with a pastor registered as a sex offender.

The government doesn't want Emerson Begolly, the 21-year-old former Penn State student who allegedly bit two FBI agents in the parking lot of a Burger King when they tried to question him about apparent pro-jihad messages he posted online, released.

Somali-born US citizen Mohamed Osman Mohamud, was arrested after he attempted to blow up a car bomb at a Portland Christmas tree-lighting ceremony. The bomb was a fake; Mohamud had been set up by the FBI. He's quite a character!

A grand jury convened yesterday to see if 24-year-old North Carolina blogger Samir Khan could be charged with terrorism offenses after he created the English-language jihadi magazine Inspire, with stories like "Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom."

What do terrorists do, when they're not hating us for our freedoms, and faking Hawaiian birth certificates? They play soccer! Yes, the favorite sport of America-hating European secularists is also the favorite sport of a bunch of violent dogmatic jerks.

Popular jihadi website al Samoud has been hacked—at least that's what the web forum's administrator, Abu al-Aina'a al-Khorasani, says. On al Fallujah message board he warns that his online journal has "been the subject of an ‘infiltration operation.'"

The 2010 World Cup is here! Okay, so Americans couldn't care less about soccer, but the rest of the world is excited: Brits are ditching work, South Africa has cleaned up, and Somalis are watching their necks, literally.

Al Qaeda's latest diabolical plot: It's staging an assault on America's eardrums and it's using autotune to do it. A pair of hip-hop jihadis—including Alabama-born convert Omar Hammami—released hot new English-language tracks on a terrorist website this week.

Seven Muslims were arrested Tuesday for trying to kill yet another Muhammad-doodling European cartoonist. Among them was Colleen LaRose, a blond-haired green-eyed suburbanite who met her co-conspirators on YouTube and online forums, under the name JihadJane.

If there was ever a subject that doesn't translate well to comedy, it's the life of a suicide bomber. Yet somehow Britain's Chris Morris is able to twist this horrific act of violence into an absurdist comedy of errors.

Last week, Forbes columnist and NYU professor Tunku Varadarajan won our Outrage-off for his column about crazy Muslim murderers lurking amongst us. NYU radicals have struck back with a revolutionary pie-ing of Varadarajan's Islamaphobic allies!