• Olivia Palermo's imaginary career is on fire. The City star is reportedly leaving her "job" at DVF to "work" in the publicity department at Elle. So if you see anything in Elle that seems to have been ripped from another magazine, now you know who to blame. [P6]
• Jay-Z demanded a Maybach, champagne, "good quality" peanut butter and jelly, 12 shot glasses, and a pack of Marlboros—along with $750,000—before agreeing to perform at the University of Arizona last month. [SG, P6]
• Jesus Luz's dad says his son and Madonna "definitely" plan to tie the knot in a Kabbalah ceremony shortly. But Jesus won't have to bother signing a prenup since the marriage won't be legally binding. [NYDN]
• The good news for Amy Winehouse: She's reportedly no longer addicted to drugs. The bad: She's supposedly traded the drugs for booze. [OK!]
• Man of the people: Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein was spotted flying coach on a flight from New York to DC. [P6]

• Stephanie Seymour and Peter Brant will meet in Greenwich divorce court for the first time today. Expect some fireworks: Brant has already filed a motion demanding Seymour "undergo drug and alcohol testing"; for her part, Seymour is accusing Brant of "hostile, threatening and intimidating behavior." [NYP]
• Now that he's split from his wife, Sean Penn is supposedly dating Natalie Portman (again), since she "stimulates him in ways no other person has." [Star]
• Rumor has it Madonna and Jesus Luz are planning some sort of commitment ceremony at the Kabbalah Center sometime soon. [NYDN]
• Luke Russert was either the "It" boy at the White House Correspondents' dinner on Saturday night, or has been a major disappointment for MSNBC, depending on who you talk to. [NYDN, P6]
• Speaking of nepotism, Meghan McCain reportedly "lost it" and acted like an "insolent child" when a guard told her she couldn't bring two friends into the Correspondents dinner on Saturday. [NYDN]

Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is blessed with bisexual rocker-dom; Lindsay Lohan's sister has been baptized into mega-decauchery; and Mel Gibson's family will be born into sin.

• Eliot and Silda Spitzer made their first public appearance together last night. The couple turned up at the Waldorf for the eighth annual Children's Benefit Gala and were spotted holding hands and making "lovey-dovey looks at each other." Unconditional love is a beautiful thing. [NYDN]
• The stress over the Kiefer Sutherland/Jack McCollough incident must be getting to Brooke Shields: She was spotted looking "upset, overwhelmed and stressed" at the Innocence Project gala on Wednesday night. On a related note, the desk appearance ticket Kiefer received yesterday means he will be a free man until he shows up in court on June 21. [NYDN, NYP]
• Lindsay Lohan's 15-year-old sister Ali has reportedly dropped out of high school so she can party full-time with her big sister. Good work, Dina. [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are expecting girls when their surrogate gives birth in a few weeks. [OK!]

• "Real Housewife" Kelly Killoren Bensimon has deceived us all once again. All the talk about her Ivy League education? Turns out she took classes at Columbia's extension school and anyone can do that. In related news, Jill Zarin supposedly tried to return a dress at Intermix with a big stain on it. [P6]
• Kelis—who is seven months pregnant—has filed for divorce from Nas. [NYDN, People]
• Marc Jacobs admits Madonna did ask him to help Jesus Luz get a work visa, but says it's "no big deal" since he'd "do anything to help a friend." [NYDN]
• An Austrian radio station now says it was responsible for hiring a Beyonce lookalike to fool a Vienna museum. [Us]
• Rachel Zoe flew first-class from LA to NYC. Her husband, however, was forced to fly coach. The indignity! [NYDN]

Lindsay Lohan is scared of food, Brad Pitt is scared of his ex-bodyguard and New York models are frightened and jealous of Jesus Luz.

• Jesus Luz isn't making many friends with his fellow male models. At an event last week, the other models in the room were "gossiping like catty girls" about his "big, swollen head," and bitching that he's only booking work because of his relationship with Madonna. Really, you think? [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan flew to Maui with her sister and mom, where she's been spotted tanning and shopping at Gucci and Louis Vuitton. So everything is pretty much back to normal. [NYDN, Us]
• Samantha Ronson changed her Facebook relationship status to "Married," whatever that's worth. [Sun]
• Good news for the handful of remaining Sex and the City fans out there: Sarah Jessica Parker says Chris Noth has finally signed on to do the sequel. [E!]

News of Kate Winslet's butt, and of Heidi and Spencer's wedding. Which are sort of the same thing. Madonna welcomes Jesus into her heart, while Jamie Lynn Spears' boyfriend almost made it.

• Is Madonna leaning on her friends to hire boy-toy Jesus Luz so he can remain in the country legally? It's possible! [P6]
• Tyra Banks is expected to take the stand this week at the trial of the man accused of stalking her and threatening her staff. [NYDN, NYP]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are sending their attorneys after the couple's former bodyguard to ensure he doesn't write a tell-all about life in the Brangelina home. [NYDN]
• Salma Hayek and Francois-Henri Pinault had a second wedding in Venice this weekend; guests on hand for the occasion included Anna Wintour, Ed Norton, Stella McCartney, Bono, Charlize Theron, Woody Harrelson, Lucy Liu, Penelope Cruz, and Javier Bardem. [NYDN, People]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt tied the knot this weekend, too, although the event featured fewer A-listers and many more MTV cameras. [People]

Mary-Kate Olsen walking downtown in sneakers ... Beyonce getting out of an SUV in Midtown with an umbrella in hand ... Angelina Jolie on the set of Salt ... Evan Rachel Wood getting in a cab outside Rose Bar ... Madonna entering a "medical center" uptown and later leaving the Waverly Inn with Jesus Luz ... Kate Winslet entering a building with her daughter ... Brad Pitt taking flying lessons at a Long Island airport ... Kim Kardashian walking under an umbrella in Midtown ... Zoe Kravitz holding coffee on the set of her new movie. Twelve ... and Jennifer Lopez leaving the St. Regis Hotel on East 55th Street.

• It looks like Bethenny Frankel will be staying single a little while longer. A day after she and A-Rod were spotted on a "date" at a steakhouse in Florida, the Yankee was seen "canoodling" with a "trashy blond girl" at the Delano. Oh, well. [NYDN]
• It's official: Heidi Klum is with child. [Us]
• Good news for Jesus Luz: Not only is he back together with Madonna, he's booked Dolce & Gabbana's next campaign, too. [WWD]
• Estée Lauder CEO William Lauder says he's not paying his baby mama Taylor Stein the $500k a year she was promised because she violated their confidentiality agreement. Her lawyer says it was actually William's wife Karen who leaked word of the baby to the press. [NYP]

Kevin Spacey can't go shoe shopping without hanging out in secret back rooms; Madonna can't get rid of her boy toy and Gwyneth Paltrow can't keep secrets.

• Is Lindsay Lohan heading back to rehab? That's what her mother, relatives, and friends are supposedly encouraging her to do, since she's been on a "self-destructive binge of partying, tears and breakdowns" ever since Sam Ronson broke up with her. To make matters worse, she keeps bumping into Sam everywhere she goes. Clearly, the girls need to decide once and for all which one's getting Chateau Marmont so this sort of thing stops happening. [OK!, L&S, P6]
• The Sun reports Madonna and Jesus Luz have reunited. As the story goes, Jesus came back to NYC to "perk up" Madge after all that trouble in Malawi and now they're like, going to Kabbalah classes and, like, eating dinner together and stuff. [Sun]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are supposedly dating again, even though they claim they're "just friends" in public. [NYDN, P6]
• "Real Housewife" Jill Zarin recently underwent breast reduction surgery. If you're lucky, you'll see the whole procedure go down on a future episode. [P6]

• Madonna's kicked boytoy Jesus Luz to the curb and is thrilled to be single again, reports Britain's Daily Mail based on the things she's been telling fans on Twitter. But as the Times reminds us today, lots of celebs only pretend to use Twitter, so you don't have to give up hope entirely just yet. [DM]
• In related news, Madonna is expected to arrive in Malawi this weekend so she can add another baby to her collection of human accessories. [NYDN]
• Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. only broke up recently, but she may have already moved on: She was spotted at a "rebound dinner" earlier this week. [P6]
• More trouble for CNBC: The network's golden boy, Dylan Ratigan, may be heading out the door after clashing with management. [P6]
• Ivana Trump may have reunited with her ex, Rossano Rubicondi. [P2L]
• Mega real estate broker Kathy Sloane has been hit with $248K tax lien. [P6]

• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly moving into a temporary "therapeutic environment" run by Stephen and Daniel Baldwin, where she can "go to work and meetings," and "remove the negative influences in her life." Sounds like the basis for a great sitcom, too. [Fox 411]
• Holly Peterson—socialite, daughter of billionaire Pete Peterson, and author of The Manny—is calling it quits with her husband of 15 years, Goldman Sachs exec Richard Kimball Jr. [P6]
• Whitney Port and actor Robert Buckley hooked up at a party in Miami and were later spotted "making out at Nobu." [P6, OK!, E!]
• Fashion editors: They're just like us! Vogue's Andre Leon Talley was spotted "chowing down on chimichangas at Chili's" at LAX on Tuesday night. [P6]

A day for relationship regrets: The author of The Manny is losing her husband-y; Madonna's pet model realized she's a control freak; and Rihanna's many regrets supposedly include a sex tape.

• Following conflicting news reports, it now appears that Natasha Richardson was pronounced brain dead sometime yesterday following her skiing accident in Canada on Monday. She's now reported to be at Lenox Hill on the Upper East Side, where her family members have gathered to hold a vigil and say goodbye. [NYP, People, NYT]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown might be "taking a break," although neither one says it's a "formal breakup," whatever that means. [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan's driver crashed her SUV into a wall outside the Mondrian Hotel in Los Angeles at 3:30 am Tuesday morning. [E!]
• Graydon Carter has already started inviting friends to visit Monkey Bar, the restaurant he's opening on East 54th Street. [P6]
• Just what the world needs: Justin Timberlake recently returned from Mexico, where he's been working on launching his own brand of tequila. [P6]

• Lindsay Lohan certainly had an eventful weekend. After a judge issued a warrant for her arrest on Friday, Lindsay had a meltdown on Twitter and ended up in a fight with Sam Ronson that was so intense, the cops had to be called. It's not over yet: She's scheduled to appear in court today, although she may not show. [People, Gawker, TMZ, NYP]
• Olivia Palermo isn't making friends in her Tribeca apartment building. She strutted past the people gathered in the lobby last Thursday "completely oblivious" to the fact that one of the building's apartments was on fire. [P6]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and her trainer Tracy Anderson are having trouble finding people to pay $4,500 to join their new Tribeca gym. What a surprise. [P6]

• What's Ashley Dupre been up to recently? She's been doing lots of yoga, which she credits with saving her life. And it also introduced her to Russell Simmons, who is now her "mentor" and is making her feel more "liberated." Is that the term they use these days? [P6]
• LiLo and Sam Ronson got in another fight outside a club. This one was caught on tape, however. [TMZ]
• Rumor has it Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel may be engaged. [NYDN]
• Breaking! George Clooney got drunk at a bar St. Louis last weekend. [NYDN]

Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze taking a walk in Brooklyn ... Justin Timberlake playing basketball on a public court downtown ... Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky sitting courtside at a Knicks game at Madison Square Garden ... Julia Roberts leaving her hotel in Midtown ... Helena Christensen walking in the Village ... Beyonce shooting a video in Tribeca ... Meryl Streep reading the Times on the set of her new movie in Brooklyn ... Madonna and Jesus Luz leaving the Kabbalah Center ... Ru Paul walking in the meatpacking district ... Ice-T and Coco leaving a show at Caroline's in Times Square ... Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard arriving at the Classic Stage Company on East 13th Street ... Nelly leaving the Trump International Hotel ... Tim Robbins playing hockey in the Village ... Kiefer Sutherland leaving Kingswood in the West Village with his girlfriend, Siobhan Bonnouvrier ... Naomi Watts carrying her new baby in the meatpacking district ... and Tyra Banks leaving the Waverly Inn.