The MTV Movie Awards have always managed to deliver one or half a dozen memorable moments worthy of YouTube legacy. But the host of the show has rarely been a factor in determining that year's success story, until the producers' decision to enlist Sarah Silverman last year finally lifted the program's ratings. With last year's success still fresh in their minds, MTV has announced that Mike Myers will helm the 2008 edition, signaling a definitive return to the program's roots. Sixteen years ago, the show premiered with Dennis Miller at the wheel, followed by SNL alum Eddie Murphy, Jon Lovitz, two Jimmy Fallon appearances and of course, Myers' own try in 1997. But recently MTV has rolled their dice with more commercially appealing faces like Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba. We took a look back at the show's hosting history to figure out if the show's host, like love, has anything to do with it.

When we heard today that Christina Ricci instructed her trainer to give her Jessica Biel's butt for her upcoming role in Speed Racer, we too remembered our longtime fascination with Biel's hard bottom. Even though Justin Timberlake famously praised the back door of Kylie Minogue, we're sure he's doing just fine enjoying his current girlfriend's assets. And considering we've had asses on the brain since Gisele thrust hers into our face this morning, we decided to just declare this Hump Day, well, Rump Day. Herewith, we present our picks for the top five best butts in Hollywood. And not to worry ladies; we'll be sure to devote an upcoming Hump Day to the male stars with the most appealing cushions for pushing.

If you're going to waste time at work on a social network, why lavish it on the proles of Facebook? You could instead luxuriate it on the wildly attractive Jessica Alba and NBA All-Star Baron "Bulletproof" Davis of our hometown Golden State Warriors. Davis and old friend Cash Warren, Alba's paramour, cofounded Alba's favored social network, iBeatYou. The basic premise: One interacts through friendly contests like Best Beard. But the "differentiator," in Valleyspeak, is Alba and Davis's celebrity draw. It kind of reminds me of the now-defunct Consumating, except with playful jocks instead of indie rock hipsters. After the jump, NewTeeVee's Liz Gannes captured a moment with the effusive Davis.

Perhaps the second most unhappiest pregnant woman in Hollywood, Jessica Alba explain to a friend at Whole Foods that during the course of her pregnancy, her breasts were going to get much larger, much to her dismay, but much to the satisfaction of her baby daddy, Cash Warren. Alba already has been complaining about back problems and fails to see how this can be the biggest trend. Alba's friend mentioned that she's doing something bigger and far more greater than another Fantastic Four movie. To which Alba replied, I guess.

Shocking (shocking!) news has surfaced that yet another flat-chested actress was deemed not voluptuous enough for her movie poster. The lusty marketing team behind Fool's Gold are not fools; they realized that Kate Hudson's no Lindsay Lohan in the breast department. To that end, The Daily Mail is reporting that Hudson's natural A-cups were boosted up to Bs in promotional pictures for the film, possibly in an effort to give Matthew McConaughey's pecs a run for their money. But Kate's not the only cleavage-challenged actress that's been digitally bazoomed on a poster. Anyone remember the titular tales behind Keira Knightley, Jessica Alba, Emma Watson and yes, even Lindsay Lohan's digital enhancements? We do!

Compared to the last few years of beige, gold and altogether safe ensembles, this year's Academy Awards carpet was delightfully packed with surprising silhouettes (Heidi's exaggerated popped collar), feather detail that drifted nowhere near tackiness (Jessica Alba), and form-fitting strapless dresses that made actresses (gasp!) look like they have actual curvalicious figures (Cameron Diaz). Herewith, our glance at who we think stopped the show last night with their expertly picked dresses.

[Actresses Jessica Alba and Cameron Diaz greeting each other at the Oscars last night; image via Splash]

Following in the current publishing world trend of putting leading actresses of the day in meticulously art directed recreations of Hitchcock films, naked Marilyn spreads, and other potentially terrifying scenarios, Jessica Alba sat for a series of iconic horror movie tableaus for Latina magazine. The shoot called upon the unsung-serious-actress- trapped-in- the-body-of-a -mindblowing-hottie to reach deeper into her own talent stores than ever before. And reach she did, pulling out every open-mouthed trick in her acting playbook, to put her own imprint on such iconic cinematic moments as (from L to R) Rosemary's Baby, the Psycho shower scene, and the climactic pigeon-attack from Working Girl.

As you and your loved one attempt to pry off the beer helmet that became glued to your head by a combination of sweat and Coors Light runoff, enjoy the weekend box office numbers:

Our first indication that something might be awry with Jessica Alba's career came not when that guy on TRL told her that getting pregnant was "Not cool, dude", but rather when we saw the one-sheet for her new movie, The Eye. While certainly a captivating Photoshop job (ish), we found it fairly bizarre that Lionsgate would choose NOT to use the beautiful visage of one of the most lusted-after actresses in the world to promote their film. But then we did some research on Rotten Tomatoes and realized something very important. Save for fanboy fave Sin City, no one really seems to have liked any of the films she's starred in.

The career-long battle between Jessica Alba's artistic ambition and the typecast-inviting good looks she knows are preventing her from becoming a Serious Actress rages on, with Alba once again issuing a public plea for someone, anyone to hand her some ugly-making prosthetics—a crooked nose, a suppurating sore, five extra eyes, whatever—and trust her to deliver their passion project to Oscar glory: "Most of all, Alba, who admires Charlize Theron's Oscar-winning transformation in Monster, wants to be seen as a multifaceted actress who can take on any role. 'I'm not really attached to my appearance,' she confesses. 'I know I can get dressed up and look like something. But what's more of a challenge is someone allowing you to play that role and letting you go there — having a director and writers believe in you. To do something where I got to just concentrate on the performance and discover, that's the ultimate, as far as I'm concerned.'" [LAT]

· Don't look so put out by that dude who's not cool with your knocking-up, Jessica Alba. He's the one who's helping to pay for little Cash, Jrs. baby clothes.
· As long as she's got a bottle of wine and two other jilted lovers, Maggie Gyllenhaal doesn't need AMPTP and his lies.
· Christian Brando, Christopher Coppola, whatever. Close enough.
· You know times are tough when the CAA Death Star bothers to lean over to devour the stringy, unsatisfying flesh of the fully grown in a desperate attempt to sustain itself.
· Well, sure. If no one tells the Japanese tourists that the little person the guy from Herman's Head has just reduced to tears is supposed to be standing in for a child, of course they're going to be a little disturbed by such an upsetting tableau.
· Seriously, though: if you watch only one video of a muscle-suited, 1994-era Ryan Seacrest having tennis balls fired at him by 12-year-olds, make it the one we posted this morning. Continue to ignore it at your own peril.

[Jessica Alba getting her hair did on the set of the Today show this morning; image via INF]

· Nicole Richie and That Guy From Good Charlotte had a bouncing baby girl and, as celebrities are wont to do, gave her two middle names. The diet for both mother and daughter begins tomorrow!
· I drink your milshake (dot com)!
· American Psycho gets a cuddly makeover (via BWE).
· Ever find yourself wondering what Paris, Britney and Lindsay would do if they used their powers for good instead of evil? Vh1's exceptional "Celebrity Eye Candy" has the answers. Now if only they had a website!
· Now that it's almost the weekend and you'll finally have some time to kill, take some time to peruse Slate's Movie Club.
· Jessica Alba like WHOA!
· And Maila Nurmi, best known as Vampira, died today at the age of 86. All we know is that Elvira better show her face at her funeral.

When news broke yesterday that the moviegoers of this great nation of ours had voted Lindsay Lohan's dead-stripper turn in "I Know Who Killed (My Career)" as the single worst performance of Anno Domini 2007, our reaction was laced with both sadness and shock. Sadness because we all long for days when the frecklecrotched wonder's biggest problem was her slightly jiggly thighs, shock because we could think of no fewer than six and no greater than seven performances that were CLEARLY worse than Lindsay's. What follows, dear friends, is that list (in descending order, no less)!

Wonderful news everyone! In a Super! Duper! People! Alba! Shotgun! Wedding! Exclusive!, the subject of many a pubescent male self-love fantasy has been proposed to by Cash Warren, the man responsible for the expanding baby-bump soon to be defiantly bared on the cover of a fashion glossy. Finally, with Alba officially off the market, casting agents and directors will be able to consider her for the kinds of meaty roles she's long craved, only to see herself passed over for dowdier, less available actresses. [People]

Mimicking the kind of risky, career-stalling move usually only attempted by more established movie stars like Julia Roberts, Jessica Alba has allowed herself to become impregnated by boyfriend Cash Warren. Following the announcement of the happy news, her agents at Endeavor are scrambling to see if they can get her into some kind of knocked-up-single-mom romantic comedy project Reese Witherspoon rejected during the middle stages of her last pregnancy, hoping to keep Alba working even when she can no longer hide her baby bump. [People]

• Jessica Alba, 26, will give birth to boyfriend Cash Warren's child in late spring. [People]
  

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Buster Bluth menacing the Grove Santa with his hook.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Andy Dick sober.