Even though Hollywood's A-List was deprived of a chance to eat and drink on Vanity Fair's dime last night, two fiestas proved that celebrities will not let a little thing like tradition get in the way of a night of free booze and swag. Elton John's Annual AIDS Foundation Oscar Party usually has a strong turnout of power players, but the star wattage at the 16th incarnation of the bash last night was a few standard deviations past the norm, thanks mainly to the absence of Graydon Carter's soiree. Highlights included Tilda Swinton kissing her Oscar in some sort of Buddhist mating ritual, as well as the public debut of Hollywood's newest power couple, Sean Penn and Petra Nemcova. We've got pictures after the jump.

Jeremy Piven was recently captured sunning on a Hawaiian shore by a telephoto lens almost as substantial as Ari Gold's legendary member, and while we can detect ever the slightest hint of burgeoning Piv-handles, the 2008 Golden Globe winner appears to still be in fine form. Clearly, Piven's habit of stepping in at local bar-band gigs to whale on the skins until the very last disappointed patron files out, paired with a vigorous yoga regimen learned in the high peaks of the Himalayas (where the actor achieved levels of spiritual enlightenment heretofore thought unimaginable for someone whose previous notable achievements included among them the coining of the phrase, "Let's hug it out, bitch,"), have contributed to one of the most enviable beach bodies of the entire Entourage cast. Sorry E, Turtle, Drama, Lloyd, and Bob Ryan, but the guy's got hairless pecs for days. Is that something you might be interested in? Click through to get a closer look at a Piv triptych.

FamousPeopleGettingFreeShitWatch: At something called "swag suites" at Sundance, Jack Black and Josh Harnett (and other similarly recognizable actors) may receive expensive electronics gadgets and fashion accessories at no cost! (Save having their names attached to the reception of the aforementioned items.) Meanwhile, back in Hollywood, recent Golden Globes winner Jeremy Piven plans to re-gift some black sequined dresses to alleged crush-object Dita von Teese, a flirtation that may be ruined by the revelation Piven didn't have to pay for his suddenly not-so-generous-seeming come-on. Stuff: Celebrities don't have to pay for it! [Page Six, Page Six]

Once of the great tragedies of last night's decimated Golden Globes was being deprived of the opportunity to watch Entourage's Jeremy Piven, one of Hollywood's most enthusiastic awards recipients, take the stage and toe the always-difficult line between obligatory humility and "I so deserved this! This fucking show is nothing but four stoned jackasses high-fiving in a booth at Les Deux without Ari Gold!" self-aggrandizement

· If anyone knows where we can pimp our gas-guzzling ride with the words "Clean Energy" along the sides in massive blue letters, we're all ears. We hear it's foolproof horny-starlet-bait. [via TMZ]
· Congratulations to Lindsay Lohan, whose first post-rehab gig appears to be selling $5 Polaroids of herself to tourists with the rest of the Chinese Theater Justice League!
· Is it a coincidence that on the day reports emerge that #1 Yahoo search topic Britney Spears failed to show up to her "Piece of Me" video shoot, MTV and Jive Records announce their Make Your Own 'Piece of Me' Video Contest? Wethinks not.
· We defy you to resist these photos of injured hedgehogs with brightly colored scrunchie casts.
· It's the first night of Hanukkah. Has linking to Adam Sandler's "The Hanukkah Song" become a cliché? Yes. Yes it has. Do we care? No. No we don't.

• Metal Skool & Jeremy Piven [YouTube]

Say what you will about Jeremy Piven, but the dude never fails to make love to each and every camera pointed at him following an Emmy win. [Manolo the Shoeblogger]

As is their custom in the run-up to various awards ceremonies, Newsweek has once again assembled a panel of nominees to discuss issues important to the modern kudos-hopeful, allowing their guests a rare chance to gather together to discuss their craft and make the occasional comment about the absurdity of introducing the notion of competition into their collaborative art form. In their new Emmy Roundtable piece, they've hoarded Masi Oka of Heroes, Entourage's Jeremy Piven, Brothers & Sisters' Sally Field, and Ugly Betty's America Ferrera for the chat, and it didn't take long for Piven, last year's Best Supporting Actor winner for his portrayal of lovable, Gaysian-haranguing agent Ari Gold, to express his frustration over not having more input into creative decisions that might result in more screentime:

· Dueling premiere parties, arguments over release dates (too close to Labor Day, American Gangster, and Brad Pitt's Jesse James flick?), and bickering over one-sheet images that reportedly made notoriously cuddly star Russell Crowe feel fat: the tension between Lionsgate and its 3:10 to Yuma talent has certainly made for some good times, according to Slate.
· Jeremy Piven admits to not being as stylish as the professionally wardrobed fictional character for which he is best known.
· Joe Mantegna tries to fill the Mandy Patinkin-shaped hole on Criminal Minds.
· Danny DeVito is not opposed to the terrible, terrible idea of a Throw Momma from the Train sequel.

· Hollywood Out of Ideas: Let's Stick Neo in Another End-of-the- World-with- Robots-Movie Edition: Fox greenlights a remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, starring Keanu Reeves. [Variety]
· American Eagle, purveyors of fine, outdoorsy shmatahs to mall-patrons everywhere, has actually launched an "entertainment production arm," and is rushing several web-based projects into productions. We don't know about you, but we're thrilled The Adventures of Sensible, Double-Pleated, Triple-Washed Chinos finally got the greenlight it deserved. [Variety]
· The Bourne Ultimatum continues to dominate the international box office—particularly Denmark, where national treasure Matt Damon's birthday is feted with a symbolic dumping of a Minnie Driver-alike in a staged ceremony attended by tens of thousands. [Variety]
· South Park's evil geniuses Matt Stone and Trey Parker have their contract renewed at Paramount, a juicy ad-sharing deal which will guarantee the duo "$75 million over the next four years," ensuring many more adventures for Lemmiwinks in the Land of Mr. Slave's Bowels. [THR]
· Hollywood Nepotismwatch: Paramount Vantage greenlights its first deal with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay's Gary Sanchez Prods.—The Goods: The Don Ready Story, set to star none other than McKay's brother-in-law, Jeremy Piven. Now you know who your sister has to fuck to get a job in this town.

It's a sign of our celebrity-obsessed, privacy-deficient times that an Emmy-winning actor can hardly bicker with his mother over a high-end meal in a sleepy beachside community without word of that testy conversation hitting the gossip rags, as Entourage's Jeremy Piven will discover upon stumbling up the item about his alleged intrafamilial Nobu spat in today's Page Six:

You know who'll be really excited to find out that Jeremy Piven is doing a series of shoe ads? This guy. We just hope he doesn't finish himself off before he gets to the part about what size Piven wears. [LifeLine Live]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell the world about the time Ari Gold and his giant, silver Lexus ruined the bohemian tranquility of your favorite Venice coffee house.

In what is easily the tensest minute of television since the Man in the Members Only Jacket rose from his seat and disappeared into the Haltson's restroom to void his bladder, motormouthed premium-cable Hollywood agent Jeremy Piven faced off this morning against sinewy Regis Philbin sidekick Kelly Ripa in a test of strength. Promising to double the number of push-ups banged out by Ripa, Piven dropped to the floor alongside his foe, ready to prove to the world that he will not be emasculated by ninety pounds of morning show host.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in as soon as they happen. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the day you learned that even living legend porn stars have to gas up their Saturns just like you.

• Ari Gold? Drums? Yeah. [MySpace]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw Val Kilmer imparting some surfer wisdom to his son at a Santa Monica surf shop.

As far as expressions of celebrity entitlement go, there is perhaps none more satisfying than, "Don't you know who I am?" a disarming classic we've always felt more than adequately communicates to any service professional that he or she is in the presence of an individual whose impatient demands far exceed their actual accomplishments. Two recent Gatercrasher items in the NY Daily News (one from today and one from Sunday) reveal that Entourage star Jeremy Piven is doing his best to claim a spot as Hollywood's foremost practitioner of the entitled arts, materializing from the fame-ether like a spoiled, abusive wraith at impossibly crowded eateries both local and far-flung to demand immediate satisfaction. First, today's report of Piven's Valentine's Day run-in here in L.A.:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in obsessively. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and impress everyone by breaking Fabio down to his fashion-nightmare fundamentals.