We do not want a Mel Gibson comeback, but the universe doesn't care because Mel Gibson just landed another starring role. Katie Holmes also might make a comeback, and George Lucas writes a musical about fairies. All inside the Roundup!

Alec Baldwin taking a coffee break on the set of 30 Rock ... Mischa Barton leaving the Cooper Square Hotel with her dog in tow and getting into a waiting SUV ... Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony leaving the Gansevoort hotel ... Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz walking home with their baby ... Brendan Fraser getting out of an SUV in front of his hotel ... Matthew Broderick walking with his son James in the Village ... Harrison Ford arriving at the Late Show with David Letterman ... Chace Crawford on the set on the set of Gossip Girl ... and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi posing for pics outside the Wendy Williams Show.

Today at Gawker.TV, Jeff Zucker makes an appearance on Charlie Rose, Alyssa Milano's steamy 80s workout video, Jon Stewart tears apart his own political party, The Bachelor's latest humiliating rejection, and Jennifer Lopez tries her hand at stand-up comedy.

Oh, George Lopez. So far under the late night radar that no one even notices when movie stars drop in. Movie stars! But drop in they did, as Jennifer Lopez tried her hand at the late night comedy shtick.

• The messiest TV feud in years may be nearing its end. Conan O'Brien and NBC are said to be close to signing a deal that would allow Conan to walk away from The Tonight Show with $32.5 million in hand. He wouldn't be able to host a show on another network until September under terms of the agreement. And it remains unclear if he'll be able to take some of the memorable characters he created with him, like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog or the Masturbating Bear. [TMZ]
• Has Jennifer Aniston finally found love? Probably not, but she's reportedly hooking up with Gerard Butler again. After taking pictures together on the red carpet at the Golden Globes, Aniston and Butler were supposedly seen "making out" backstage and were "attached at the hip all night." [P6]
• Madonna may be looking to add to her collection of kids. According to a Brit tabloid, the 51-year-old singer wants to have a baby with her Brazilian boytoy Jesus Luz since she has "endless love in her heart for another child." [Sun]
• Tiger Woods may be staying at Pine Grove, a sex rehab facility in Mississippi, if you happen to be looking for him, or you just need the name of a place that will treat your own compulsion to sleep with hookers and waitresses. [Us]

• Daniel Mudd, the former Fannie Mae chief who now serves as CEO of the private equity giant Fortress Investment Group, has scored a big deal in Greenwich. He and his wife Maura have paid $6.45 million for a 15,000-square-foot manse in Greenwich. The six-bedroom first went on the market for $11.2 million back in 2007. [WSJ]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have unloaded their four-bedroom mansion in Bel-Air. They sold the "French-style villa," along with all of its furnishings, to hedge funder Mark Spitznagel for $7.5 million. [WSJ]
• Ivana Trump's former home in Palm Beach has sold for $3.975 million. [TRD]

When you go crawling back to the ex you moulded in the shape of another ex who wouldn't take you back, it's time for readjusting, not a wedding. Sharon Stone joins Law & Order: SVU, A-Rod hooks up. Gossip!

• Is Tiger Woods in New York right now? Did he settle with his estranged wife by handing her a check for $300 million? In two pretty dubious stories now making the rounds, a friend of Elin Nordegren says Woods' scorned wife—who spent the holiday weekend at a French ski resort—has been telling pals she got a $300 million gift for Christmas from her estranged husband. Meanwhile, rumors also surfaced that Woods was spending the weekend holed up at New York's Trump International Hotel, where he ordered huge amounts of Red Bull and vodka and was accompanied by a "leggy blond." Alas, the paparazzi camped out outside the hotel never caught a glimpse of him and the hotel staff denied Woods was ever there. [NYDN, NYP]
• Down in St. Barts, Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich made it rain by hosting a $5 million New Year's Eve party at his $90 million estate. Beyoncé, Gwen Stefani and Prince all performed at the shindig, and the Russian mogul's party—along with fetes hosted by Larry Gagosian and Paul Allen—attracted a long list of boldface names to the island, including Jay-Z, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr, Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone, Rachel Zoe, Harvey Weinstein and Georgina Chapman, and Russell Simmons. For her part, Lindsay Lohan spent much of the weekend aboard Abramovich's boat, where she was seen jet-skiing and shopping in a teeny bikini and ginormous wedge heels. She also sent out a rather ominous tweet on New Year's Eve: "Everyone get ready for more (but positive—LOHAN MAYHEM!!!" Sigh. [NYP, People, DM]
• According to Peter Biskind's new biography of Warren Beatty—and some "simple arithmetic" on the part of Biskind—the actor has bedded 12,775 women during his lifetime. Annette Bening must be so proud. [NYP]

A 72-year-old man decries his last chance to be baller. An update on Paris Hilton's sex life involves swine. Another posthumous Jacko release, and it's terrible. Tiger gives Elin $300M, and she laughs in his face. Monday gossip cometh.

• An autopsy was performed on Brittany Murphy yesterday and while no obvious cause of death was determined, more should be known when toxicology tests are completed in several weeks. Meanwhile, police sources say a huge stash of prescription pills (painkillers, antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, antibiotics, etc.) were found at her home. And several of Murphy's friends, colleagues, and acquaintances have told reporters that her death "wasn't a shock," and that substance abuse "had sadly become par for the course." [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• In an interview yesterday, Murphy's husband Simon Monjack defended himself against suggestions he was a bad influence on Murphy. Monjack's shady past isn't doing him too many favors, however. The British screenwriter was sued by a bank for close to half a million bucks in 2006 as well as evicted from his apartment the same year. A year before that, he was arrested in Virginia on credit card fraud and theft charges. [AH, NYP, Fox News]
• Back in 2001, Tom Cruise sued a magazine editor named Michael Davis Sapir for saying that Cruise had a "homosexual relationship" and Sapir had a tape to prove it. Now it's Sapir turn. He's suing Cruise, his attorney Bert Fields, and private detective Anthony Pellicano for $5 million, claiming they spied on him and illegally wiretapped his phone. [TMZ, Us]
• The German shepherd that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony used to own wasn't the friendliest pooch. Not only did Floyd allegedly attack a flight attendant (who is now suing the couple), he supposedly also head-butted a housekeeper and bit one of their personal assistants. [NYDN]

• Courtney Love has lost control of her daughter. Frances Bean Cobain is almost an adult—she's 17—but a LA judge has granted guardianship to Kurt Cobain's mother and younger sister yesterday. Don't think it's because Courtney is on drugs or completely crazy (although she is). It's just that Frances is a "strong-willed child" and prefers to "live with her grandmother at this time." [People, TMZ]
• Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson have yet to confirm reports they've broken up, but it's looking like A-Rod has already moved on. He was seen in Miami this past weekend in the company of a "leggy blonde," and reportedly told another bunch of girls he was chatting up that he's "definitely single." [P6, NYDN]
• Tara Reid's redemption is underway! Not only is she hanging out with classy characters like Giuseppe Cipriani, she's announced that she'll be appearing topless in the January-February issue of Playboy. Welcome back! [P6, Us]

• Although Tiger Woods and his wife remain "in seclusion" at their home in Florida (and are supposedly involved in "intense" marital counseling sessions), their lawyers are still ironing out a revised pre-nup. One report suggests Woods would pay his wife $5 million immediately and then $55 million if she stays with him for another two years; all she'd have to do is suck up any semblance of pride and sign a nondisclosure agreement. Meanwhile, sources indicate that Tiger was working on a deal to pay Rachel Uchitel $1 million to keep her trap shut, she hasn't taken any money from him (yet), and canceled her press conference yesterday because she was "scared for her safety." What else do we know? That Tiger is painfully insecure about his tiny calves, for one thing.
• In an interview with Glamour, Sarah Jessica Parker says she has "enormous regrets" about filming the Sex and the City sequel since because she didn't want to miss being home with her two baby daughters for one moment. Let's all hope the millions she makes from the movie more than makes up for it. [Us]
• Is 15-year-old Tallulah Willis (daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore) dating 16-year-old Patrick Schwarzenegger (son of Arnold and Maria)? Possibly, although Bruce's rep is now denying it. [P6]

• Tiger Woods released a statement this morning: "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. [TMZ]
• One thing that may have pushed Tiger to finally issue the apology: While Rachel Uchitel didn't want to cop to hooking up with Woods, two other women turned up to take her place yesterday. A 24-year-old waitress named Jaimee Grubbs appeared with tawdry text messages from Woods to back up her story. (Sample: "I will wear you out!") And a Vegas club manager came out to say she's been having an affair with him "for some time." [Us, NYP, NYDN]
• Tiger won't face criminal charges for crashing his SUV outside his Florida home. He's getting a traffic ticket and may pay a $164 fine. [Us]
• Bill Clinton is pumped his daughter Chelsea is marrying investment banker Marc Mezvinsky because, Bill says, Marc is a "great human being." Not only that, but when Hillary is traveling, Chelsea and Marc take pity on poor old Bill and take him to dinner and the movies. [People]
• Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich just bought a $90 million estate in St. Barts and now everyone is expecting him to throw the "It" Christmas party of the year. No word on whether the Salahis were invited. Not that the lack of an invite will stop them from attending anyway, of course. [P6]

"I feel bad" for boyfriends whose girlfriends don't send them XXX self-portraits, says Rihanna; Tiger Woods' sexy texts messages are out; LiLo and SamRo make nice. Wednesday's gossip is one nip slip short of a tabloid triathlon.

If you tuned into the American Music Awards the week before last, you're probably aware that not only did Jennifer Lopez fall on her well-insured backside during her performance, her latest single is all about Louboutin shoes. (It's called "Louboutins," surprisingly.) So what does the French designer make of the song? He's totally thrilled and totally flattered by it, of course. And he's extra pleased since Lopez called him in advance to make sure she was pronouncing his name correctly: "In America the public pronounces my name in like a million different ways. So Jennifer called me, and she was like, 'Listen, I want to make sure that I get it right.' And she did... from the very first time!" [FWD]

• Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods' alleged mistress, is calling the allegations that she had an affair with the golfer "dumb," "stupid," and "ridiculous," and says "it's like asking me to comment if there are aliens on earth." Worst of all, she's bummed that as a result of this whole saga some "nice, normal guy" that she might eventually settle down with is "going to have a tainted view" of her. Meanwhile, friends and former colleagues of Uchitel say the party-promoting, celebrity-wrangling widow and divorcée has been obsessed with getting close to celebrities for years, is a "drama queen" and "fire-starter," and has had numerous run-ins with her employers in the past. [NYP, NYDN]
• What's Tiger up to? He bailed out of a golf tournament in California later this week and still hasn't come out of his house. [Us, NYP]
• Troubled Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson was arrested yesterday for stealing jewelry, clothing, shoes, and even underwear from a model pal. The really disturbing part: Johnson allegedly left a wet towel and "used vibrator" at the scene of the crime as her "calling card." [NYP, TMZ]
• Tareq and Michaele Salahi, "the most infamous party crashers in the world," appeared on the Today show this morning to tell Matt Lauer they did nothing wrong. The couple claim some mystery evidence—to be released at a later date— will prove they were invited to last week's state dinner. [MSNBC]

That's because it's now got 100% more of phone hacking PR girl Ali Wise. Also Emma Watson gets around, Lady Gaga marries Papa John, and J.Lo meant to fall down. It's Tuesday and that's all the gossip you get.

• Is disgraced publicist Ali Wise the latest addition to the cast of Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show? Possibly! Wise apparently wants people to know "she's still out on the scene and doing fine" and taped an appearance at the opening of pal Stacey Bendet's new store last week. And she's expected to turn up in other episodes of the show. Let's just hope that Wise—who allegedly stalked women her ex dated—and the Tinz don't clash over any German princes or former American Idol contestants, or things could get ugly. [NYDN]
• In case you were worried that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were going through a rough patch, you can stop stressing. They celebrated her birthday at a club in the meatpacking district over the weekend and reportedly "looked very much in love all night." [P6]
• Penelope Cruise still hasn't confirmed whether or not she's engaged to Javier Bardem, but she's been shopping for a wedding dress recently, at least according to In Touch magazine's "sources." [In Touch via NYDN]
• Agyness Deyn's super-short hair is her signature, but it has its downsides, too, it seems. A woman propositioned the Brit model at a party the other night. Deyn "politely turned her down." [P6]

While everyone else was talking about Lady Gaga's flaming piano and Adam Lambert's flaming hot dance moves, JLo took a fall when she jumped off of a male dancer. Can we call this a J-Fail?

• Are Jude Law and Sienna Miller back together? That's what it looked like when the duo were seen cavorting at The Box last Thursday, but reps for the two are denying it. [NYDN]
• Either Jay-Z is a really thoughtful husband or Beyoncé is a bit of a control freak, but Jay refused to take photos with the models at the Victoria's Secret fashion show last week supposedly "out of respect" for his wife. [P6]
• Heidi Klum has officially taken Seal's last name and is now Heidi Samuel. Please update your address books, thanks. [People]
• The American Music Awards took place last night. Some highlights: Taylor Swift won three awards; Michael Jackson won four posthumous prizes; Lady Gaga set a piano on fire; Adam Lambert's S&M-themed closing act involved getting a mock blowjob and kissing a male band member; and Jennifer Lopez fell down on her most famous asset, but she managed to pick herself up and carry on as if nothing had happened. [People, MSNBC, TMZ]