• Roseanne Barr is outraged that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt haven't endorsed Barack Obama, so she's taken them to task on her blog for being evil and vacuous, and for "trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity." [P6, RoseanneWorld]
  

Mary-Kate Olsen taking a walk downtown, iced coffee in hand ... Jennifer Lopez in a GMA interview in Central Park with Chris Cuomo ... Tim Robbins chatting with fans playing hockey in the Village ... Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, and Suri playing in Central Park ... Sarah Silverman walking through SoHo with a friend ... Ed Westwick filming Gossip Girl on the campus of Columbia ... Paris Hilton and Benji Madden holding hands on their way to a waiting SUV ... and John Mayer leaving Nobu with his brother Carl.

• News about Warner Music's Lyor Cohen's stock sales and compensation has sent the stock down nearly 10 percent. [Forbes]

Eagle-eyed commenter Raincoaster noticed something funny about the picture we posted last night of Bee Shaffer: The daughter of Vogue editor Anna Wintour was wearing an Oscar De La Renta dress last seen in July on the back of actress Jennifer Lopez. But it was barely on her back. As pointed out with varying degrees of cruelty on lolebrity and D-Listed, one photo showed how famously-voluptuous Lopez didn't quite fit the dress, so it had to be held onto her body with some sort of rope or scrunchy or something. Now Shaffer is prancing back into New York with that same dress elegantly draped over her wispy, fashion-friendly frame. COINCIDENCE?

Clearly bored with the twins, absentee star Jennifer Lopez is set for a busy run of on-camera distractions in the months ahead. And perhaps needless to say after her '07 run of dodgy, self-produced dramas, the output to come promises a veritable bounty of romcoms playing to the constituency that will finally get J-Lo over that $100 million hump. Or maybe the $25 million hump — any hump, really, would likely satisfy producer Bob Yari, who's bankrolling The Governess this fall:

This is the one day when Jennifer Lopez has the right to act like a diva: The new mom turns 39 today. Also celebrating: Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth turns 40 today (although she looks like she's 12). Anna Paquin is 26. Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame turns 59. Billionaire investor Nelson Peltz is 66. Artist Alex Katz is 81. Director Gus Van Sant turns 52. And scandal-plagued baseball star Barry Bonds is 44.

In light of some breaking hair-related news involving future fugitive Katie Holmes, we must admit that we’ve underestimated the Scientology prisoner. As the Daily Mail reported over the weekend, Broadway’s least-alluring celebrity rookie recently chopped off even more of her already chin-grazing bob, and even dared to pull out those hair curlers in what could be the beginning move in a new strategy to finally flee the Knights of Hubbard. Though Kate’s "boyish" cut may backfire, it’s a clever plan nonetheless. Below, we provide five of the best examples of drastic 'do-caused catastrophes directly linked to highly publicized breakups, from Jennifer Aniston’s self-conscious bob that led to Brangelina, to Cameron Diaz’s unfortunate goth dye job that failed to inspire any future sex or love sounds from Justin Timberlake:

• Did Uma Thurman and Arki Busson get secretly married during their engagement party earlier this month? If so, does that mean the European vacation they're on right now is really a honeymoon? [Page Six]

• Raffaello Follieri might be in the process of negotiating a deal with the feds, which would put him in prison for five to 6 1/2 years instead of the nine-year sentence he could face if he's convicted by a jury. [NYP]

Jennifer Lopez, new member of that oh-so-trendy and elite twinset pregnancy club, is continuing her fashionable legacy by deciding never to dress her mini-Marc Anthonys in the same designer outfit twice. As much as this news doesn’t surprise us, considering the international (national? not so much!) superstar’s notoriously highbrow taste in ridiculously pricey bling, we’re fairly sure where J. Lo got the idea. Even though the past few years have seen post-pregnancy slim faster Lopez awarded the #1 spot on many a prominent Best Dressed List in the glossies, her pre-glamour girl days were adorned with some of the most horrific ensembles ever to break camera lenses with their floppy fedoras, belly-baring latex bikini tops and, of course, her infamous frontless, transparent green monster worn at the 2000 Grammys. The top five outfits we’re grateful Lopez never dared wear twice, after the jump:

Anne Hathaway carrying a bouquet of flowers and an iced coffee ... Maggie Gyllenhaal and daughter Ramona going for a walk in Brooklyn ... Lourdes Leon with dad Carlos leaving Madonna's Central Park West apartment ... Madonna and Guy Ritchie walking in the street instead of the sidewalk in Midtown ... Lauren Conrad and crew boarding a sea plane, en route to the Hamptons ... Jennifer Lopez on the set of an Elle photo shoot with Oscar de la Renta ... Newlyweds Ethan Hawke and Ryan Shawhughes walking their dog through the Village.

• It's two days since Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt were welcomed into the world by Brad and Angelina and it's been just as low-key as everyone expected. The mayor of Nice, Christian Estrosi, signed the birth certificate at a press conference; now the discussion has turned to pics of the babies, which are expected to fetch $15 to $20 million. [People, NYDN]

There's troubling news out of Pasadena today as we're hearing Jennifer Lopez's Latin eatery Madre's is "closed until further notice." The 6-year old restaurant shuttered July 1 with little more heads-up than a sign in the window; the appliances have not yet been liquidated in exchange for a month's supply of J-Lo's preferred organic twin formula, as far as we know, so perhaps the staff just needs a summer's rest from bad tomatoes and/or Stephen Hawking's infamous, mechanized flirtations. But don't fret! Recent developments ensure easy stargazing at the Newsroom Cafe these days, and in any case, we can sympathize with La Lopez; restaurants are a tough go, and Lord knows she's got enough damn people to feed at home these days. [TMZ, Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Anna Wintour and Bee Shaffer leaving Marni on Mercer Street ... Molly Shannon on a morning jog through the West Village ... Alex Rodriguez slipping out the side entrance at Trump Park Avenue ... Adrian Grenier and new girlfriend Isabel Lucas waiting for baggage at LAX ... Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony shopping at Pucci in Italy ... Seal, sans Heidi Klum, leaving the Four Seasons in Prague ... Meryl Streep, completely covered up in a jacket, scarf, and hat, walking near the water in Sydney ... Gwyneth Paltrow getting out of an SUV in front of Gemma where she met up with Madonna for lunch ... Blake Lively and Penn Badgley stopping to take photos with fans during a stroll through SoHo ... Nas talking on a cell phone as he left Da Silvano.

• Heiress Casey Johnson and Courtenay Semel, daughter of entertainment mogul Terry Semel, are officially dating. Casey is ditching plans to move home to Manhattan so she can stay closer to Courtenay in LA. [Page Six]

This probably won't come as a surprise to anyone who witnessed her seemingly hating every minute she spent pregnant, but new mom Jessica Alba has joined that elite niche of stars who lost all their baby weight at insanely rapid speeds. But the methods some celebrities have confessed to using when it comes to accelerating the path towards reclaiming their old figures don’t sound entirely sane. From suffering through cabbage soup diets to dropping $50,000 on gym equipment in an effort to slim down at paces up to 14 days after giving birth, the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Richie and others have some highly unique and scary track records. Which stars drunk themselves into wine-induced oblivion and trusted online blood tests to reach their goals, after the jump.

• Lovebirds Uma Thurman and Arpad "Arki" Busson are engaged. The Swiss financier gave her an enormous ring (so big that Uma "can't fit it through the sleeve of her coat"), which Uma promptly showed off to friends at a party Thursday night and they're now planning the wedding. [NYDN]

• Hockey star and Vogue intern Sean Avery showed up to a
  concert "dressed head to toe in black with a black newsboy cap... he
  looked like he was straight out of a 1998 J.Lo video." [P6]

• A judge has decided to keep Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook's divorce case open, and Diana Bianchi, the teenager Peter cheated on Christie with, says she's willing to testify if need be. [NYDN]

• Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty today to all six counts in connection with her assault on a police officer at Heathrow back in April. A sentencing date hasn't been set, but she's looking at a maximum six-month prison sentence and a $10,000 fine. We bet garbage duty in New York's looking a whole lot better now. [Daily Telegraph]