J.Lo's assistants aren't allowed significant others or vacations. Fred Armisen dumped Elisabeth Moss for a younger SNL cast member. Montana Fishburne explains the weird spots on her butt. Naomi Campbell cheats on her taxes. Thursday gossip rules with fear.

[Jennifer Aniston arriving at the "Good Morning America" studios today; image via Splash]

When Chelsea welcomed Jennifer Aniston on her show last night, the topic was all of the insane rumors about Jen's life. Most aren't true, but that doesn't stop Chelsea from using them as justification for her own life choices.

Someone on Mischa's yacht is a mole—is no starlet in St. Tropez is safe? Christina Ricci says Rob Pattinson is an "awesome" kisser. Ke$ha was a band geek. Hilary Duff is getting hitched. TGIFriday gossip.

Bill O'Reilly thinks Jennifer Aniston glamorizes single motherhood. Now, Aniston fights back: "Many women dream of finding Prince Charming… but for those who've not yet found their Bill O'Reilly, I'm just glad science has provided a few other options." Burn?

During last night's Countdown, Keith Olbermann maintained Jennifer Anistion's statements about single parenting that caused Bill O'Reilly to call the actress destructive to society. Olbermann uses his amateur psychoanalysis and chalks it up to O'Reilly's daddy issues.

Last night, Bill O'Reilly attacked Jennifer Aniston for glorifying single motherhood with her new movie. O'Reilly noted that Aniston can hire nannies—but not a dad!—before saying that good fathers are "diminished by people like Jennifer Aniston." Video inside.

You oughta know that Alanis has a bun in the oven. Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush get into a drunken brawl. Boy George thinks Lady Gaga is full of it. Jennifer Aniston pities Lindsay Lohan. Isn't Wednesday gossip ironic?

The Daily Ten's Ben Lyons does his best to shake things up during these routine press junkets, and here he manages catch Jennifer Aniston completely off-guard regarding Jason Bateman, her co-star from The Break-Up and now The Switch.

For next month's Harper's Bazaar cover, Jennifer Aniston makes like a drag queen and imitates Barbra Streisand. Between this and Lindsay Lohan's incessant Marilyn Monroe impression, the starlets-imitating-starlets trend has officially gone too far.

Trust, the latest movie from Friends star David Schwimmer, is like the dramatic equivalent of watching a "To Catch a Predator" segment on Dateline, but with Clive Owen instead of Chris Hansen. This thing sure looks like a turkey.

Everyone thinks Jennifer Aniston is a sad old maid, but there is someone who wants to tie the knot with her. Too bad it's a delusional stalker who just got slapped with a restraining order. Poor Jen: still so lonely.

Christina Aguilera is the poor man's Lady Gaga. Jennifer Aniston was spotted with a mystery guy. The Situation gets a sweet deal. Now that their sport is cool, soccer stars are finally getting some. Sunday's Gossip roundup is no troll.

Britney doesn't want her kids to be famous. A Real Housewife leaves a stroller unattended and two kids nearly die in a swimming pool. Heidi Montag's mom is "mourning the loss of a child." Wednesday gossip has maternal anxieties.

If you're a female celebrity and you haven't gone girl-on-girl before a crowd of roaring, adoring males, you're probably gay. Last night, Sandra kissed Scarlett as revenge on Jesse. How did lesbian kisses become the ultimate mainstream display of hetero-desirability?

Sure, Iron Man 2 and other big-ticket adventures have already opened, but we here at Gawker are traditionalists. For us, summer begins on Memorial Day. So put on those white shoes (finally!) and let's look at this season's popcorn flicks.

Lady Gaga wasn't born with ambiguous genitals, but with lupus. Lindsay Lohan goes to court today, and prepared by giving an interview on YouTube. Rihanna wants to adopt. Romance on the set of Glee? Just another manic Monday gossip roundup.

A misplaced passport nearly kept Paris Hilton from Cannes. John Travolta and Kelly Preston are expecting. Sharon Stone regrets looking "like a trout." Heidi Montag's father "fears for her life." Wednesday's gossip will get you through the week.

[Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman film their Adam Sandler movie somewhere only they know; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler filming their little movie in wherever they're filming it; image via Splash]