Jessica Simpson wants to be Michelle Obama, somehow. Jennifer Aniston is locked in a fitness war with a swimsuit model. Peaches wore a confederate flag shirt. Brooke Shields. Sunday's Gossip Roundup is giving a voice to the (literally) small people.
Gwyneth won't play Nicole's wife in a movie because Kidman dissed her. Lindsay Lohan is more than $500,000 in debt. Sandra Bullock is in trouble again. Jennifer Aniston is going to direct. Monday's gossip is a damsel in distress.
What is going on with LiLo's shoes? Kate Winslet is haunted by the ghost of relationships past. Sandra Bullock abandoned her house too. Gerard Butler's hands wander frighteningly. Demi Moore shrieks on Twitter. Monday's gossip is scared senseless.
It's true, he's wonderful. Plus: Everybody wants to go ask Alice, a kiddie flick surprises, an Iraq movie does not, and we talk a little bit about monkeys.
As soon as the words came out of Gerard's mouth, he regretted them. Corey Feldman defends Corey Haim. Jessica Simpson misses Tony Romo's "cute butt." Pattinson used to get beat up all the time. Thursday's gossip roundup has no filter.
Jennifer Aniston turns 41 today (even though she celebrated the occasion last weekend with Gerard Butler). The woman who could have been a heartbeat away from becoming president, still thinks she has a chance in 2012, and whose name we cannot even type without feeling nauseous, is turning 46. Sheryl Crow is 48. Brandy is turning 31. Mr. Burt Reynolds will be blowing out 74 candles on top of his cake today. Kelly Rowland is celebrating her 29th. Actress Carey Lowell is 49. Legendary British fashion designer Mary Quant is 76. Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is turning 57. The always classy Aubrey O'Day turns 26. And Twilight actor and tween hearthrob Taylor Lautner turns 18 today.
• Alex Rodriguez's plan to bed every woman in Hollywood continues apace. The Yankee and Cameron Diaz are now hooking up, according to OK!, although now that the news is out, he's probably already moved on to someone new. Which is too bad, really, since RodDiaz has a nice ring to it. [OK!]
• Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, was charged with involuntary manslaughter yesterday. (He pleaded not guilty and faces up to four years behind bars if convicted.) At the arraignment, prosecutors asked that Murray's medical license be revoked, but a judge turned down the request, so if you've been wondering what it's like to get pumped up with propofol, you still have time. [NYP, TMZ]
• It's been a busy week for Angelina Jolie. Yesterday she and Brad Pitt said they plan to sue Britain's News of the World for reporting that they're planning to divorce. And today she's off to Haiti to meet with earthquake victims, since they've been requesting her help—or so she says. [Us, PE]
• She may have spent every episode of Jersey Shore whining about not having a boyfriend, but Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi seems to have landed the man of her dreams: a "typical guido juicehead with a good personality," who also has waxed eyebrows, double-pierced ears, and a penchant for Ed Hardy. [NYDN]
• Despite recent reports that Donald and Melania Trump are having marriage troubles, The Donald says "all is well." Then again he said the same thing when his casinos were going bankrupt and his real estate holdings were imploding, so you may want to take his denial with a grain of salt. [People]
Sarah Silverman unleashes the rage of a thousand indignant female fans on an ex-boyfriend. Brangelina sues News of the World for the break-up rumor. I hereby nominate Kevin Federline to date Kate Gosselin. Tuesday gossip just wants to be loved.
• Lots of celebs turned out for the Super Bowl in Miami. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were there (and were spotted "kissing, hugging and laughing," so if you were worried that they'd broken up, you can rest easy). Also on hand was Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (who were chased by photographers), Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, and John Travolta, who couldn't even be bothered to stay for the entire game. [DM, The Sun, Popeater]
• Is the cast of Jersey Shore getting a little overexposed? Just a little! MTV is now looking to clamp down on their efforts to "pimp themselves" at bars and colleges around the country and has informed them that they're each limited to two appearances a week and need permission from the network before accepting any gigs. [P6, NYDN]
• In other Jersey Shore news, Jenni "JWoww" Farley is planning to "enhance" her ginormous fake boobs "as soon as possible to be ready for the new season," you'll be pleased to hear. [P6]
It's Jennifer Anniston's birthday, and she's taking the gang down to Meheeko to party with her maybe-mans. Sandra Bullock knows she's not winning an Oscar. JWoww's boobs, Tiger's dick, Pete Wentz's semen, and more! Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup.
• It looks like Madonna and Jesus Luz haven't broken up after all. The singer and her Brazilian boy toy attended the London premiere for Tom Ford's A Single Man on Monday night and "they were all over each other" and "kissing in front of everyone," according to people who were there. So if they have broken up, well, they have a funny way of showing it. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan isn't a hoarder because she has a shopping problem; it's because "a lot of it is gifted," says Dina Lohan. LiLo and her mom/party pal say they plan to donate a lot of Lindsay's "stuff" to charity and the public will be able to buy some of it on their website. So head over to lohanhouse.com in case ripped leggings and Red Bull-stained clothing is your thing. [People]
• Tiger Woods is a free man: After a month in sex rehab, he's reportedly flown home to Florida with his wife. So consider yourself warned. [Radar]
• Since things didn't work out too well with Brad, Vince, or John, Jennifer Aniston has decided that she "wants to be set up with a wealthy businessman, not a celebrity," at least according to an anonymous "insider." Somebody call Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger. Stat! [Us]
