At right, taken at the 2004 Tribeca Ball: (from left) Nadia Marcinkova, Michele Tagliani and Sarah Kellen. You have to feel sorry for Tagliani, being caught between two of Jeffrey Epstein's besties. Sarah Kellen was Epstein's assistant, helping the billionaire financier and alleged perv to procure underage girls (with the help of Haley Robson) for masturbatory massages, and escorting the girls in and out of his Palm Beach mansion. Nadia Marcinkova had the more exciting job: Epstein's lesbian sex toy.

Well, hello missy! This appears to be 20-year-old Haley Robson, originally of Royal Palm Beach, who at age 17 made herself a decent wad of fluid-soaked cash by giving billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein a naked massage and later providing him a handful of other young masseuses aged 14-16. For all we know, Epstein may have these very Glamour Shots tucked away with a bottle of baby oil in his special self-love room.

• God bless the boys at the Smoking Gun: they've got the "remarkably sleazy," 22-page affadavit filed against Jeffrey Epstein, Manhattan financier and Palm Beach underage massage aficionado. Don't miss page 12 and the Tale of the Egg-Shaped Penis. [TSG]
• Please, sweet baby Jesus, make it stop: more than 1,000 Con Ed customers in Staten Island just lost power. [Daily Politics]
• Peter Braunstein emerges for his hearing in furs and heels! Or we wish he did. The former WWD reporter and accused fireman rapist appeared to have his trial date set for November 20; alas, he was dressed like shit. [ETP]
• Whither Tina Brown? Only Will Shortz knows. [The State That I Am In]
• A-Rod just wants to cuddle. [NYT]
• A new level of anal. [Salon]
• Hillary Clinton's bust will be unveiled in the Museum of Sex. How can this not involve Bill? [FishbowlNY]

Yesterday, the ugly truth came out: billionaires are twat hounds. Not all billionaires, that is, but certainly billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, a kooky Manhattan financier who helped fund Radar 2.0 and now, alas, is charged with a third-degree felony after asking a masseuse if she would give him a "happy ending" in his Palm Beach mansion. And as the Palm Beach Post reports, that masseuse was just one in a string of several young, often underage women. He sounds charming — let's get to know him, shall we?

After yesterday's news that Jeffrey Epstein, the billionaire financier partially responsible for funding Radar 2.0, had been charged with a third-degree felony for asking a masseuse in his Palm Beach mansion to give him a tug and finish things off, some unsolicited, unconfirmed, completely unrelated gossip landed in the mailbox:

Courtesy of the Palm Beach County Sheriff's office — the Sears Portrait Studio for the yacht set.

• Billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein — who, with Mort Zuckerman, helped fund the baby steps of Radar 2.0 — just wants to be happy. Thus he hired a certified prostisseuse to come over work the knots out of his back and give him a happy ending. Now he's been indicted for soliciting a hooker and is charged with a third-degree felony. No word on whether or not he ever got that handjob. [Page Six]
• In an impressive psychological twist, Colin Farrell's stalker Dessarae Bradford holds a press conference on the steps of the LA federal courthouse and accuses the actor of stalking her. Crazy bitch is good. [Lowdown (last item)]
• Christopher Hitchens writes for Maxim, tells youth of America to go bareback. [Page Six]
• Tara Reid is told by her agent that she's landed the lead in Senior Skip Day and, to ensure her career's revival, she'll be starring opposite Robert De Niro. Unfortunately, De Niro's people insist he's in no way involved in the project. As for Reid's agent: cruel, but hilarious. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Gay everywhere throw tantrums as Nic Cage signs on to play Liberace. The role's really too subtle for him. [TMZ]
• Pete Doherty schedules another five-minute stint in rehab. [E!]