Lindsay Lohan is reportedly angling for $1 million for her first post-jail interview, and going to prison could end up boosting sales of her clothing line, too. "Financially, it's the best thing that could have ever happened to Lindsay."

The Today Show took us inside the Lynwood Women's Facility, aka Lindsay "I'm The Victim of Constitutional Injustice" Lohan's future home for 90 days. Guess what? It looks a lot like... jail! But with a pink and green color scheme.

People trying to smuggle contraband into jail should do some research before bringing goodies in. The Butt Smuggler failed. The prosthetic leg guy did, too. And a Florida man was just caught with "blue prescription pills" attached to his penis.

Lindsay Lohan will soon turn herself into Lynwood's Century Regional Detention Facility for a 90-day sentence. How many days will she actually serve? Will she get extra time for her fingernail "fuck you"? What will her cell look like?

Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days in jail and a 90-day rehab program.

Hot dog eater Takeru Kobayashi was released from jail in Brooklyn today following his arrest for crashing yesterday's Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. He plead not guilt to charges of resisting arrest, obstruction of governmental administration, disorderly conduct, and trespassing.

Paul Baldwin is a 49-year-old man from Portsmouth, New Hampshire. As of June, Baldwin has been arrested 154 times for arson, trespassing, receiving stolen property and theft, among others offenses. His most recent arrest was for stealing 48 beers.

Bernie Madoff's ex-finance boss Frank DiPascali, former millionaire, was released yesterday on $10 million bail. He plead guilty to fraud and whatnot. More importantly, what the hell is he wearing, nurse shoes? Only Jerry Seinfeld can wear shoes that white.

International playboy, and likely murderer Joran van der Sloot bragged to a Dutch newspaper that women are writing him letters in jail with marriage proposals and asking for his sperm. He also expressed no remorse at Stephany Flores' death.

Sex criminal Nicolas Cocaign is on trial for beating his prison cellmate, stabbing him with a pair of scissors, cutting him open, popping out a rib, ripping out a lung, and eating it with a side of fried onions.

Want to know what it's like to spend a day in Joran van der Sloot's jailhouse slippers? He hangs his clothes on a rack and reads the Bible! He even sleeps on a mattress! CNN got an exclusive tour.

Louisiana prison inmate Joe Lewis, perhaps inspired by The Butt Smuggler, was caught trying to sneak cigarettes, four muscle relaxers and chewing tobacco back into jail inside his prosthetic leg from a work release program. Four pills? Weak. [TheTownTalk]

After a rocky start, Bernie Madoff has finally settled into prison life. He hangs with spies, haggles over laundry, and bitches about his former clients: "I carried them for twenty years, and now I'm doing 150 years."

Three days in jail can seem like a lifetime. So before 24-year-old Gavin Stanger surrendered to authorities in Washington state for a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge, he crammed some goodies up his ass to help pass the time.

A guard at an upstate New York juvenile detention center says that a dance there last December turned into an orgy involving a prostitute and a 15-year-old girl, who allegedly gave lap dances and blow jobs to inmates.

Jaunty underground vandalartist Poster Boy was sentenced to 11 months in prison by a cranky judge last week, but now he's free on bail. Facebook and stencil artist lobbyists really work. Run, Poster Boy! (Don't really). [Subway Art Blog]

Red alert! Starlet under fire! Noting that "actions speak louder than words," L.A. Judge Marshal Revel has issued a bench warrant for Lindsay Lohan, who skipped hearing about violating the terms of her DUI probation, because she's in Cannes.

Rapper and prison blogger Lil' Wayne was caught with contraband in his cell. An iPod charger! And headphones! He was probably going to use them for awful rapper things like making drugs, so thank God they've been taken away.

More on yesterday's 11-month jail sentence for hometown subterranean vandalartist, Poster Boy: PB missed his May 6 court date, and was punished for it by an irate judge. Damn. His book is scheduled to be published June 1. [NYP, AnimalNY]

Fat Qatar! Shortened lifespans! Jailbird junk food! Pot belly rights! Half of us are walking dead! It's your Health Watch, where we watch your health—if you buy us a hoagie!