Is "fishers of men" a euphemism for cruising? Adam Lambert kisses a girl. Shakira makes fetal position sexy. Lil' Wayne has eight root canals. The guy who punched Romney is a famed rapper. Friday gossip wants to drill, baby, drill.

Wedding bells for the stylishly disheveled; Lady Gaga wears a black leotard to mourn McQueen; James Cameron works on Avatar's prequel novel; Prince William sports "suspicious" hair; Gummy Bear gets evicted. Tuesday gossip has two weddings and a funeral.

During CNN's blizzard coverage yesterday, Gene Lasker called in to advise everyone to "Stay in and contemplate Howard Stern on American Idol." Ali Velshi did not pick up that this was a prank call until Gene called Ali a dumbass.

Mission: Impossible 4 will star Tom: Cruise. New evidence suggests Howard Stern will not be on American Idol. Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks get picked up by Universal. Snowpocalypse 2010 got you down? The Trade Roundup has powerfully heated seats!

• Super Bowl XLIV made history last night: It's now the most-watched TV program in U.S. history, having bypassed the finale of M*A*S*H in 1983. [THR]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have filed suit against the Rupert Murdoch's News of the World for reporting the couple was separating. [Guardian]
• Talks between Fox and Conan O'Brien seem to be moving ahead. As for the Super Bowl ad featuring Letterman and Leno, Letterman was reportedly interested in having Conan appear as well, although it didn't pan out.
• Ellen DeGeneres makes her debut on American Idol tomorrow. Meanwhile, talks to have Howard Stern replace Simon Cowell next season are progressing.
• Mixed news for the magazine business: newsstand sales fell in the second half of 2009, although the situation was even worse a year ago. [NYT, AdAge]
• Sarah Palin won't have to fly to NYC to tape her appearances on Fox News: The network is building its new "contributor" a TV set in her living room. [NYT]
• After dominating the box office for seven weeks, Avatar was dethroned by Dear John this weekend, although it remained No. 1 internationally. [MTV]
• Ads for Snickers, Doritos, and Google were big winners with Super Bowl viewers this year. As for the Motorola spot starring Megan Fox, she may be the first person in history to have had a "thumb double." [Reuters, NYT, NYM]

Howard Stern addressed rumors today about Fox's interest in Stern hosting American Idol. He discussed why he would be the only logical pick in order for the show to remain successful after Simon Cowell leaves. Audio inside.

• Condé Nast Publications exists no more. The company will now be known simply as "Condé Nast," since the powers that be there have finally realized that people like to read stuff on the Internet every once in a while. [NYP]
• Bill O'Reilly invited Jon Stewart on his show this week. (Bold!) Unfortunately, all of Stewart's good jabs were edited out. (Not surprising!) [Gawker, NYT]
• Keith Olbermann is feuding with journalists and bloggers. Once again. [HP]
• Fashion mags struggled during the second half of '09: Sales of Vogue and Marie Claire fell by 15%, while Elle and Harper's Bazaar were flat. [NYM]
• Exits: Lifetime CEO Andrea Wong has been ousted from the network amid lackluster ratings. And the president of TV Guide Network is stepping down.
• Rumor has it Howard Stern may replace Simon Cowell on Idol. [P6, LAT]
• The cover of the new issue of SI has some people hot and bothered. [LAT]
• Magazines that tried cutting prices to boost sales? It didn't work. [AdAge]
• A rundown of the ads you can expect to see on Super Bowl Sunday. [ABC]
• Last Sunday's Grammy Awards boosted music sales this past week. [LAT]
• The Oscars are officially a month away. Mark your calendar. [The Wrap]

• It looks like Madonna and Jesus Luz haven't broken up after all. The singer and her Brazilian boy toy attended the London premiere for Tom Ford's A Single Man on Monday night and "they were all over each other" and "kissing in front of everyone," according to people who were there. So if they have broken up, well, they have a funny way of showing it. [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan isn't a hoarder because she has a shopping problem; it's because "a lot of it is gifted," says Dina Lohan. LiLo and her mom/party pal say they plan to donate a lot of Lindsay's "stuff" to charity and the public will be able to buy some of it on their website. So head over to lohanhouse.com in case ripped leggings and Red Bull-stained clothing is your thing. [People]
• Tiger Woods is a free man: After a month in sex rehab, he's reportedly flown home to Florida with his wife. So consider yourself warned. [Radar]
• Since things didn't work out too well with Brad, Vince, or John, Jennifer Aniston has decided that she "wants to be set up with a wealthy businessman, not a celebrity," at least according to an anonymous "insider." Somebody call Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger. Stat! [Us]

In which we discover the sexiest way to report a starlet's jury duty. Tiger Woods exits sex rehab, Madonna and Jesus Luz are still together, and Howard Stern declines American Idol's judging gig. Friday gossip isn't afraid to say 'no.'

• Lawmakers on Capitol Hill grilled Brian Roberts and Jeff Zucker today about Comcast's proposed takeover of NBC Universal. Meantime, Zucker's chances of keeping his job as NBC's CEO? Dimmer by the day. [Reuters, WSJ, LAT]
• Observer owner Jared Kushner is expanding: He's decided to partner with another company to launch a free newspaper in Vegas for some reason. [NYT]
• More on the deep job cuts at CBS News this week. [NYT, LAT]
• Howard Stern's contract with Sirius XM expires this year. Whether he ends up staying put—or finds a new home on radio or TV—is up in the air. [THR]
• EMI announced a massive annual loss and now needs more cash. [BBC]
• Another installment of Fast and Furious is on the way. Finally! [Variety]
• Does the National Enquirer deserve a Pulitzer Prize? Probably! [Gawker]

Everyone has moved on from the Late Night fiasco except Howard Stern. Today he decided to meticulously dissect Leno's interview with Oprah to show how much of an asshole Leno is. Hey Howard, tell us something we don't know!

Today at Gawker.TV, Howard Stern bashes Conan, Sherri Shepard may be the worst journalist in America, new issues for two gay brothers on Greek, Lifetime's "The Pregnancy Pact," and The Inbetweeners is the new Freaks and Geeks.

On Conan's last broadcast of The Tonight Show, he thanked NBC for all they have done for his career despite the whole debacle. Everyone applauded his decision to go out in a classy manner. Everyone except Howard Stern. (NSFW Language)

Last Friday, Conan O'Brien bid The Tonight Show adieu. Jay Leno will reclaim the "King of Late Night" title in March. But to understand the present, one must know the past: here's how we got to where we are now.

If it wasn't clear before, it is now: David Letterman hates Jay Leno. Letterman repeatedly destroyed Leno on his show tonight, implying he's a thief and all-around bad guy. And while O'Brien made fun of NBC, Leno took personal digs.

Howard Stern went on Late Night With Conan O'Brien in late 2006 to promote Sirius radio. But during his appearance, Stern decided to discuss Jay's impending departure from The Tonight Show. Mainly that he wasn't buying it for a second.

Today at Gawker.TV, poker strategies for Conan O'Brien, mascot for the Mets suggestively thrusts at JuJu Chang, David After Dentist gets his revenge, Howard Stern's rant about Jay Leno and American Idol's "Pants on the Ground."

Stern was as juicy this morning as all the late night shows were last night. He spouts a good deal of vitriol towards Leno. So much in fact that he's debating making his first Tonight Show appearance in years.

Howard Stern turns 56 today. Fellow radio personality Rush Limbaugh is turning 59. CNN's Christiane Amanpour turns 52. Fashion designer Mark Badgley of Badgley Mischka is 49. Kirstie Alley turns 59. Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos is turning 46. Actor Oliver Platt turns 50. New York City Councilman James Oddo is 44. The rapper Raekwon is turning 42. And Heather Mills, Paul McCartney's ex-wife, turns 42 today.

It took 20 hours to get Kate's hair to a socially acceptable state. LiLo gets kicked off a private jet and a commercial airplane. Gary Coleman has a seizure. Political relevance infiltrates Page Six, and it's not okay: Thursday gossip.