Hollywood is the most glamorous place on earth. Except when it comes to unpaid internships: They are just as shitty there as everywhere else.

There have always been a few particularly bad apples amongst the never-ending parade of costumed ne'er-do-wells that loiter outside Hollywood's famed Grauman's Chinese Theatre. Past arrests have included that of a rampaging Chewbacca and a Spider-Man gone berserk. Now to those unseemly ranks we add yet another, for SpongeBob SquarePants was "questioned but not arrested" by LAPD officers on Tuesday after a "brief incident with two females."

Who better to film the epic tale of the ancient Jewish warrior Judah Maccabbee than Mel Gibson, who thinks "the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world"?

The newest hacker gang isn't after credit card numbers or classified NATO documents. Their game is blockbuster scripts, verified Twitter accounts and nude cell phone snapshots. Harden your passwords, glitterati: Hollywood Leaks will use any means necessary to bust open the entertainment industry.

An aspiring screenwriter put his script and laptop in a briefcase and dropped it off at an agent's office in Los Angeles. But the police thought it was a bomb and blew it up. If his script were half as good as this news story, he might have had a chance.

The premiere of rave documentary Electric Daisy Carnival Experience at the famous Grauman's Chinese Theater has reportedly been cancelled after a larger-than-expected crowd showed up to see DJ Kaskade and ended up shutting down part of Hollywood Blvd.

The few who had seen the failed pilot for NBC's Wonder Woman — a proposed series about the DC Comics superheroine from Ally McBeal-creator David E. Kelley — said the network had laid a pterodactyl-sized egg. Campily, laughably terrible. Which didn't come as much of a surprise to anyone. All five networks had already passed once on the script, after all, and it took a regime change at NBC to finally get someone to crunch the numbers (numbers = breasts) and greenlight the thing. But then, all kinds of magic can come with casting, with direction, with post-production wizardry. "You never really know until it's off the page and on the screen!" - Some wise Hollywood person.

The city of Los Angeles' "Summer Lights" program, which keeps public parks lit up at night in order to discourage gang violence, is having... mixed results. "A 15-year-old girl was shot in the back and a 19-year-old man was shot in the hand [in an apparent gang shooting] as they were leaving a Summer Night Lights event" this morning. Oh. God. It's just too much. It's like some horrible, horrible movie. "A man was shot in the face near a South Los Angeles park after the lights were turned out last week. It provided all-too-real drama for actors Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Pena, who were on scene at the time while on a police ride-along to prepare for an upcoming movie."

Paramount and Marvel Studios have a bit of a marketing challenge on their hands with their upcoming Captain America: The First Avenger. Namely, how do you sell a pro-U.S.A superhero movie to the many regions of the globe that can't stand us? Their solution was to play it safe, and release the film in all foreign markets as just "The First Avenger."

Film school is the journalism school of people who can't write. It's a place where kids with vague dreams of "making projects" go to chill out for a few years and learn that you should never call a "film" a "movie." Then they come out and get a shitty job for little money that pays them purely in proximity to power.

After a disappointing Hollywood summer, it's nice to know we can look forward to a pedigreed, awards-caliber release this weekend with Michael Bay's touching coming-of-age tale, Transformers: Something Something Moon. And it's already breaking records! $20mil on opening day. [Deadline]

A young woman who works in show business emailed 15 friends last week with a tale about meeting director Quentin Tarantino at a party. She made out with him, took sexy pictures in a photo booth, and watched him whip out his "short," "fat," "nub-like" penis. She then had foot fetish quasi-sex with him, she claims.

Heart exercise! Male infertility! Blood transfusion! Belly fat! Boomer exercise! Smashing drumsticks! Fidget fitness! UFC games! And the Ultimate Fitness System, revealed! It's your Tuesday Fitness Watch, where we watch fitness—begrudgingly!

What could be more delightful than spending a year as Hollywood rage-blogger Nikki Finke's boss? Reading the open love-letter she penned you on your way out.

Before Arnold Schwarzenegger ran for governor of California, he was busy impregnating "a longtime member of [his family's] household staff," according to a report in the Los Angeles Times and a statement from Schwarzenegger.

Dana Wynter, who starred as Becky Driscoll in the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers, died of congestive heart failure in a hospital in California last week at the age of 79. From the early 1950's on, she also appeared in a bunch of other great TV shows and movies.

If you thought 3-D was the last frontier in making people feel queasy during summer blockbusters, guess again. The hot new movie-watching technology out of Hollywood are "gyrating seats."

Elusive Hollywood rage-blogger Nikki Finke has a well-earned reputation for skirting the bounds of rationality and surrendering to fits of apoplexy. It's part of her charm! But a couple recent episodes, including a pompous, unhinged email to a flack for the Motion Picture Association of America that she cc'd to half of Hollywood over the weekend, suggest that things may be trending south for her.

Former Playboy Playmate and B-movie star Yvette Vickers was found in a "mummified state" inside her Benedict Canyon, California home by a neighbor last week. Authorities tell the Los Angeles Times that she could have been dead for up to a year. Susan Savage found Vickers' body after noticing yellowed mail and cobwebs: "I just had a bad feeling," she told the paper.

It seems that the sequel to The Hangover features a gag about Ed Helms' character getting a tattoo like Mike Tyson's. One thing the Warner Bros. legal team probably didn't anticipate: A copyright lawsuit from the "visual artist" who drew the original tattoo.