Today, the New York Times reminded us that Hillary Clinton is, by several light years, the candidate closest to willing to disclose any information the United States government is withholding about contact with extraterrestrials. Great! But what about ghosts?

In a new interview with former Obama advisor David Axelrod, Jon Stewart offered a grim assessment of America’s political landscape, with harsh words for Democrats, Republicans, Hillary Clinton, the media and most of all Donald Trump, who he ridiculed as an “unrepentant, narcissistic asshole.”

The wordsmiths over at the Hillary Clinton campaign just can’t help themselves from coming up with insipid, potentially self-destructive names for their main opponent, a man whose appearance alone lends itself to an infinite array of much more spectacular nicknames.

It’s Trump versus Clinton. It’s a well-funded mainstream Democrat against a widely reviled demagogue who will struggle to earn the support of his party’s donor base. It’s a man whose every public utterance is a potential negative ad waiting to be cut, versus the most cautious candidate in modern memory. The Clinton campaign has been given a tremendous gift, as I am sure they know.

According to CNN, the FBI is close to concluding its probe into whether Hillary Clinton mishandled classified information by using a private email server and is expected to interview the former Security of State about the matter “in the coming weeks.”

Now that we’re just six months away from electing our country’s very first tanned hernia into office, Hillary Clinton has her sights set squarely on taking down our future President Trump. And with that laser focus comes a brand new attack ad that is great—at least as far as attack ads go—but also a futile attempt to stop the inevitable.

During a round table in West Virginia, a recently unemployed coal worker confronted Hillary Clinton over her remark at a CNN town hall in March that “We’re going to put a lot of coal miners and coal companies out of business.” In response, Clinton admitted her comment was a “misstatement.”

Just before launching the rather specifically-named Hillary Victory Fund, ostensibly formed to help “rebuild” the Democratic Party “from the ground up,” Hillary Clinton declared, “When our state parties are strong, we win. That’s what will happen.” According to Politico, however, less than 1 percent of the $61 million raised by the fund has remained with the state parties.

In January, Ted Cruz suggested “spanking” Hillary Clinton for not calling Benghazi a terrorist attack. And at a campaign rally on Sunday, Cruz once again advocated a hands-on approach to discipline, this time in response to a young protester yelling, “You suck!”

On Tuesday night, Donald Trump said, of Hillary Clinton, “The only thing she’s got going for her is the woman’s card, and the beautiful thing is, women don’t like her.”

If Donald Trump made one thing clear in the victory speech he delivered after sweeping a handful of Republican primaries this past Tuesday, it’s that he now views Hillary Clinton to be his only opponent.

Last night in Maryland, Hillary Clinton cruised to a 30-point victory over Bernie Sanders in the state’s primary. But a more instructive race may have happened down the ballot, where Rep. Chris Van Hollen won the Democratic primary for Senate in a testy battle with Rep. Donna Edwards. As in many down ballot contests, the primary—in which two Maryland Democrats fought to replace a Democrat who has held her seat since 1987—was the race.

During last night’s victory speech, Hillary Clinton looked to the future as she called for a unified Democratic party and support from the more “thoughtful Republicans.” And yet—there was still something far more compelling on screen: Every single cutaway to Bill Clinton’s dumb, dead-eyed mug.

In a telephone interview with CNN, Donald Trump clarified his remarks last night that Hillary Clinton is “playing the woman card.” On Wednesday morning, he told CNN, “She does have the woman card.” However: “a lot of women don’t like Hillary, despite the card.”

After a strong showing in tonight’s primaries, Hillary Clinton seems well on her way to wrapping up the Democratic nomination for president.

On Thursday, Bernie Sanders’ wife promised to make make more years of the couple’s tax returns public on the condition that Hillary Clinton release transcripts of speeches she made to Wall Street banks.

Bernie Sanders will “reassess” his candidacy if he loses tonight, though his campaign says he fully intends to stay in the race until the end, which is what everyone says, until they don’t.