hamptons

NYT Wonders What The Poor People Are Doing This Weekend

abalk2 · 07/07/06 03:41PM

It may come as news to those of you who are busy lining up your date rape drugs for tonight's festivities at Canoe Place Inn, but The New York Times has discovered that not everyone is willing to drop ten grand for the privilege of passing out on a piss-covered couch at the end of Long Island. Intrepid reporter Anna Bahney describes a hardy cohort of young New Yorkers who, either because of poverty or general good taste, are shunning the fabled summer share to spend more time here in town, or even, God forbid, on a fake beach in Queens. Bahney digs deeper, though, doing extensive research that, while it may undercut her thesis, is too good not to print: "Still... the summer share isn't exactly dead. A search on the user-posted photo Web site flickr.com revealed groups of 20-somethings lifting cocktails this summer at clubs in the Hamptons." So basically, nobody goes to The Hamptons anymore. Except for the people who do. Maybe we should move to Nebraska after all.

'Daily News' Photog in Hamptons Bloodbath

Jessica · 07/06/06 08:19AM

While you spent your weekend in the city's apocalyptic heat, watching the polish melt right off your toenails, the pretty people of higher tax brackets were flitting about the Hamptons, mingling with cryogenically preserved old bags by day and skanking about Hamptons-outpost versions of Manhattan's best cheese factories-cum-nightclubs by night. Early Sunday morning, Jessica Simpson was thus found in her natural habitat, the Southampton extension of the Pink Elephant (no doubt giving her mane 100 strokes of the brush before even leaving her SUV). Daily News photographer John Roca dared to take pictures of the young skanklet, sparking the rage of security guards. A routine scuffle ensued, and security confiscated the camera's memory card, which also contained photos from two other News assignments.

Remainders: Protecting the Hamptons Share Crowd

Jessica · 06/20/06 06:15PM

• New York's Homeland Security budget may have been tightened, but that's no problem for the Hampton Jitney — they've been given $83K to keep the summer share crew safe, protected in their alcoholic bubble. Honestly, in a time of terror, aren't these the fools we'd want to go first? [Room Eight]
• According to the octagenarians at Reader's Digest, New York is the most courteous city in the world. Except for when it's raining and you need a cab. [RD via Bent Post]
• Jodie Foster will tow your car. Or maybe her girlfriend will. Either way. [The Reeler]
• Blogs aren't catching on in Britain, proving that the English are just as smart as they sound. [Guardian]
• Beware the dangers of sunbathing on Murray Hill rooftops: the area is a hotbed of Syracuse alums looking to show you their mansticks. [The Daily Sally]
• David Cross reads blogs, accepts and ratifies David's Law. [Lindsayism]
• We may not be able to give the troops armor, but if we could just send a few Kenneth Cole boots, Iraq would be a safer place. [Copyranter]

Code.tv to Rape Your Monitor

Jessica · 06/12/06 08:38AM

This morning was supposed to be special: according to Brandweek, today would mark the launch of Code.tv, an online television network aimed towards 25-49-year-old New Yorkers who earn $100K or more (i.e., suits and web entrepreneurs). Featuring aesthetically pleasing hosts, "Code.tv will show viewers new restaurants, nightclubs, and stores in New York and the Hamptons." Think Daily Candy meets Thrillist meets MUG meets YouTube meets migraine headaches.

Gossip Roundup: America's First Family Returns

Jessica · 06/09/06 11:15AM

• Brangelina, Shiloh, and "those other kids" plan on returning to Malibu this weekend. When their plane touches American soil, our country will celebrate the reclaiming of our national treasures. [TMZ]
• After his jokes about Brokeback Mountain, Howard Stern gets snubbed by Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams. At Nobu, no less, for bonus shaming points. [Page Six]
• For every tabloid tell-all book, there's a spurned ex-boyfriend getting a gun permit. In Bridget Harrison's Tabloid Love, it's the Post's Jesse Angelo; for Deborah Schoeneman's 4% Famous, it's Rocco DiSpirito. [R&M (2nd item)]
• 59-year-old actor James Woods is now dating his daughter, 20-year-old Ashley Madison. [Lowdown]
• Barbra Streisand tours again! Cue fainting Gays! [IMDb]
• Fake David Cross is to the East Village and Lower East Side as Fake Jimmy Buffet is to the Hamptons. [Page Six]

Everybody's Working for the Weekend, Even the Bloggers

Jesse · 05/30/06 08:52AM


We're not particularly Hamptonites, and in fact we really enjoyed our lovely weekend in the city. But we still found ourselves a touch curious about how the first big vacation weekend went out on the East End. Good thing, it occurred to us, that there's a spiffy new blog to tell us about all what goes on out there on the fabulous weekends of the summer season.

Remainders: Everybody Hates Brandon.

Jessica · 05/22/06 06:00PM

• The cameras of TMZ.com never rest: last week they caught Brandon Davis waxing philosophical on the nature of Lindsay Lohan's crotch, this week they document the LA nightlife backlash as a woman screams at him to take a shower and derides him for getting his money "from daddy." As if that's an insult? [TMZ]
• Former New Jersey governor and proud 'mo Jim McGreevy reads excerpts from his new book, an erotic tale of his anonymous rest stop hookups. [Star-Ledger]
• Quote of the day, courtesy of Ghostface Killa: "New York be bullshitting. Right now, I say fuck New York. Yeah, I'm from New York, but fuck New York. Because niggas is pussy." [Prefix]
• In live theater, distracting the actors just might get you backstage, where you can confuse David Schwimmer and piss off Zeljko Ivanek. [BroadwayWorld]
• Life imitates art, at least if you're a Sopranos fan: the body of a man who'd been beaten to death was found behind the Cafe Bada Bing. [NYT]
• As Memorial Day weekend draws near, the four horsemen of the Hamptons apocalypse prepare to open their doors to thousands of devoted Wet Seal fans. [NYM]
• A bird flu awareness night in Newark is marked by a chicken wing eating contest. In Jersey, the jokes just write themselves. [Newark Bears]

Remainders: 'Rolling Stone' Still Alive and Kicking?

Jessica · 05/01/06 06:15PM

• The UK Observer argues that Rolling Stone is once again the anti-establishment bible, "giving a new lease of life" to editor/publisher Jann Wenner. If so, could the mag once and for all stop pretending it has anything to do with music? Just cut that painful shit loose, please. [Observer UK]
• NB to Tom Cruise: Never, ever publish another piece of writing. And pity the poor soul who had to edit you — we'd rather eat our own scabs. [Time]
• Today David Blaine begins his fishbowl stunt, in which he finds an excuse to subject us to his shirtless torso for one full week. [Gothamist]
• It's wonderflack Jonathan Cheban's dewy MySpace profile! He's actually friends with Lindsay Lohan, which means he can read her MySpace blog entries. Color us jealous. [MySpace]
• Work at Men's Journal? Have a lunch tomorrow with Anderson Cooper? Don't know what to ask him? Then turn to your equally dumbfounded friends at Williamsboard for suggested topics. [Williamsboard]
• Thanks, we think, to a quick rhinoplasty, Ashlee Simpson's nose finally matches that of her sister Jessica. [Cityrag]
• Katie Couric has finally found her Hamptons refuge: a 5,000-square-foot Southampton McMansion. Anyone know the broker? We'd love to see some pics. [NYP]
• Additionally on the matter of brokers, Brownstoner launches Brokerate.com, a simple site where you can rate your experience with the realtors who make your life miserable. [Brokerate]
• Women's fashion mags lead to heartbreak, insecurity, and death. But at least you'll stop eating and be thin. [Coutorture]

Remainders: Tom Cruise's BlackBerry of Love

Jessica · 04/17/06 06:00PM

• If you do only one productive thing today, you must, MUST go by our brother Defamer and see his footage of Tom Cruise's BlackBerry exchange with Katie Holmes during his Primetime interview. Diane Sawyer told him the camera was off, but whoops — she caught those lovebirds using emoticons! Well done, D, and major props to the cameraman who zoomed in on the 'Berry. [Defamer]
• Andrew Hearst is back to playing with Quark; Uterus Weekly is his latest masterpiece, which counts Jennifer Aniston's empty womb as a cover story. [Panopticist]
• Didn't we already tell you that Ron Burkle was having a party for the Clintons? Yeah, we did, which means you've had plenty of time to save up the grand it costs to get in. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Braden Keil over at the Post reports that Katie Couric is looking to buy in the Hamptons for around $6 or $7 million. A quick search for $6 million gems in East Hampton turns up this unfortunate beast. Perfect, she'll take it. [NYP / Corcoran]
• Is the Times trying to kill feminism with bottles of peroxide and books about binge drinking? [Broadsheet]
• A community stake-out on Shake Shack helps burger lovers time their visits. [ShackWatchers]
• To reiterate: ambisexual magalog Cargo is dead. Your subscription bill, however, lives on. [Big and Sharp]

Gawker's Week in Review: Putting Nick Sylvester on Suicide Watch

Jessica · 03/03/06 06:15PM

• The Village Voice gets its very own hipster-Blair, in the form of young Nick Sylvester, who fabricated parts of his cover story. Upon being caught, he fainted outside of editor Doug Simmons' office, only to find himself suspended upon regaining consciousness. Meanwhile, freelancers bitch about the possibilty of the story being a stolen pitch and Sylvester loses his indie cred by being asked to resign from his haute music-reviewing gig at Pitchfork.
EXHALE! And in other news:

Helicopters Are the New Cabs

Jessica · 03/03/06 11:10AM

Tired of schlepping to the airport via plebby mass transit or, worse, a cab that smells like chicken fried ass? Starting March 27th, US Helicopter will be offering service from Manhattan to JFK, LGA, and Newark. The commute takes a lovely 8 minutes, and you're screened by TSA lackeys before you board — which means you don't have to take off your shoes with a bunch of strangers.

Anna Wintour's Sparkling Hamptons Palace

Jessica · 03/02/06 01:15PM


We imagine Anna falling back on this bed, content with a productive day of berating the gardeners, and drifting into an early evening slumber (click to enlarge).

Does Anna Wintour Need a Little Ty Pennington?

Jessica · 03/01/06 08:17AM

We've never heard of the UK decorating magazine World of Interiors, but given that it's "where interior design and fashion meet," we're most certainly putting it on our mag-hunting list. Just look at what's in this month's table of contents:

Anderson Cooper Seeks Solace in East Hampton

Jessica · 02/16/06 02:40PM

A tipster (who may or may not be smoking crack, as tipsters are wont to do) informs us that Prudential Douglas Elliman has just scheduled a showing of this lush East Hampton property to none other than Mr. Blue Steel himself, Anderson Cooper. Priced at $3.55 million, the house boasts a "glorious" master suite, professional kitchen, marble baths, 3 fireplaces, and cathedral ceilings. The best part? The home features six zones of heat and central air, which should provide enough temperature control to keep every last Katrina refugee nice and comfy.

Real Estate Market Protects Your Summer Home

Jessica · 09/29/05 10:20AM

For those of you fearing that the inevitable (we hope) bursting of the real estate bubble may hurt your summer plans, we've got some good news. Reports the Post, "Median prices for single family homes in Southampton Village are up almost 70 percent since the end of 2004, almost tripling the gains of other haughty Hamptons hamlets [...] The median price now stands at $1.6 million, up from $945,000 at the end of last year."

The End of Summer Does Not Mean the End of Suffering

Jessica · 09/06/05 10:30AM


New York Gas Prices has been dilligently tracking the best and worst places to fuel up your Hummer as the cost of oil continues to rise in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Take a quick glance at the highest prices in the region; suddenly it's rather clear who are the true victims of this national tragedy.