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• The Village Voice gets its very own hipster-Blair, in the form of young Nick Sylvester, who fabricated parts of his cover story. Upon being caught, he fainted outside of editor Doug Simmons' office, only to find himself suspended upon regaining consciousness. Meanwhile, freelancers bitch about the possibilty of the story being a stolen pitch and Sylvester loses his indie cred by being asked to resign from his haute music-reviewing gig at Pitchfork.
EXHALE! And in other news:

• Anna Wintour's summer home is revealed. And, of course, it's the size of a small country.
• Writer/actress Nancy Balbirer gets her 15 minutes of whatever by selling out her anonymous, insane-ish friend who just happened to be Jennifer Aniston.
• When Times reporter Jenny 8. Lee turns 30, she does it hardcore with four cross-country celebrations.
• Eyeliner-rock bible Spin gets sold and editor Sia Michel is sacked in favor of Andy Pemberton. Chuck Klosterman packs his bags as well, along with the mag's other marquee names.
• We put on our reading glasses and pore over former Men's Journal editor Michael Caruso's contract. More interestingly, though, who did Caruso want fired so badly?
• Bonnie Fuller's husband Michael maxes out his credit card buying fancy flowers for the missus.
• We go to the premiere of The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things and find the it utterly unwatchable.
• Lizzie Grubman and her fiance set the date for their wedding: March 18. If you race to the altar, you can outrun karma.
• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Alcoholic.
• For you, dear readers, we willingly let our eyes bleed.