• Halle Berry discusses Calif. fires, pregnancy [LiveVideo]

· Dear ladies of The View: Don't feel special that James Lipton shared his French pimp story with you. He'll blab on and on about it to any talk show host he thinks can help him move some books. Aside to fill-in host Kassie DePaiva: Back in the day, Lipton would have turned you out so damn fast you wouldn't know what hit you.
· We've been told that if you watch these Harry Potter-inspired videos and animations, Naked Dumbledore makes an appearance. Do with this information what you will.
· RIP Peter "The Stomach" Hume, onetime Meatballs competitive hot dog eater.
· Pregnancy is really agreeing with Halle Berry. Or at least with parts of her.

Stopping by The Tonight Show Friday to promote Things We Lost in the Fire, Halle Berry brought with her a couple mementos she probably now wishes had also perished in the blaze: Having recently discovered the funhouse-mirror filters on Apple's Photo Booth program—also employed to terrifying kaleidoscopic effect by Rosie O'Donnell—Berry pulled out several printouts of her morphing handiwork, including a big-nosed alter ego she described as "my Jewish cousin."

• Fighting with fellow inmates landed 90s rapper Foxy Brown a solo cell for 76 days. [NYP]
  

The date: October 9, 2007
The place: 43rd and Broadway
Sighted: "Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony came out of the elevators as I was walking through my lobby this morning. She looked gorgeous and was dressed in quite a baggy shirt... hmmm. And Skeletor was... well... skeletal."

• Did Weinstein Co., coproducers of Project Runway, ban Tim Gunn from mentioning Proj Run in his book? Tim says yes, Harvey says no. Gosh, I'm sure we're all going to believe Harvey Weinstein over the nicest most huggable gay in the world. [NYP]
  

"Is Halle Berry pregnant?" has basically been a recurring article in celeb weeklies since their covers featured Ava Gardner and Frank Sinatra, so it took a while for us to wrap our minds around the idea that this time, Halle Berry is really actually, truly, up the stick. "Yes, I am three months pregnant! Gabriel and I are beyond excited, and I've waited a long time for this moment in life. Now the next seven months will be the longest of my life!" she told Access Hollywood last night. God, of all of our lives. (Plus, uh, ten months of gestation certainly sounds like too much to us!) So what will Halle call the long-awaited bundle? We're liking "Ivy F." (Or maybe Holly?) Thoughts? [Image via Splash News]

Halle Berry and her nonfamous lover start building their family the old-timey, penis-in-vagina way. Back at the Tam Binh orphanage, a parentless four-year-old crosses Berry's name off his list of A-list actresses who might soon save him from a life of never appearing in the pages of Us Weekly. [Access Hollywood]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time Mike Tyson whipped out his own camera at the Farmers Market to request a photograph of you.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted beloved East Side mainstay Kiefer Sutherland in his rightful place, mingling among the drunk and unwashed masses at Sunset Junction.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Sarah Connor at a 7-11.

With the possibility of a disastrous™ writers strike (or, a little later down the line, a combined writers/actors/directors one) looming, THR notes that agents are sweating through their Armani as they try to panic-book clients into any movie that might provide a pre-labor-Armageddon commission. (One needs to look no further than the Reporter's singling out of Jim Carrey, who's collecting roles like a homeless man whose next meal is dependent upon his ability to accumulate a shopping cart full of "good enough" aluminum cans, to see how dire the situation is becoming.) Now that much of the top-flight talent is either booked or sitting the next few months out, the THR piece offers some big names who are still looking for jobs:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted a grocery-shopping Larry Birkhead getting a head start on Dannielynn's food-dependency issues.

· Snoop Dogg was charged today with two felony counts for—shocker!—a past weapons and weed possession charge. In other Snoop news, Bill O'Reilly can still suck. His. Dick.
· "'We did it outside, so that was a lot of fun,' [Nicole] Richie, 25, said of the enema sequence." We'd beg you not to bother reading the rest of that story, but in the end, you're just going to do what you want to do.
· Three exclamation points doesn't even come close to relaying how we feel about the fact that Larry Birkhead is going to see Danielynn tonight.
· A once-tortured Halle Berry showing signs of mounting self-confidence.
· Hey! Shocking Cats! [via BWE]

Recent, overly appreciative Walk of Fame honoree Halle Berry has some cross words for Parade, which she accuses of dredging up an old suicide story that she only grudgingly shares with the press each time she has a movie to promote for the purpose of helping other potential ticket-buyers women struggling with the same desperate thoughts:

Perhaps not fully realizing that a star on the Walk of Fame is an honor available to virtually any steadily working actress backed by a deep-pocketed company with something to promote, an overcome Halle Berry prostrated herself in gratitude upon her own slab of Hollywood immortality this morning, and on the last day it would be possible to do so without contracting a communicable disease from the filth of thousand vagrants, pressed her lips against the monument celebrating her myriad contributions to cinema.

In an honor that is no way connected to Sony Pictures' promotional efforts for her upcoming release Perfect Stranger, junket-suicide survivor Halle Berry will today be granted show business immortality for a celebrated body of work that includes Catwoman, Swordfish, and a particularly poignant turn in B*A*P*S by receiving a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, an honor so rare that tourists spending a long weekend in the city may witness only one or two such induction ceremonies during their stay. Right about now, you're probably experiencing pangs of guilt over your failure to take out a full-page ad in the trades sucking up to the actress on her big day, hoping that your gesture of respect might lead to a future business relationship. Fret not: Her agents, lawyers, managers, and a couple of studios have filled Variety with enough expressions of conspicuous sycophancy that your thoughtlessness will hardly be noticed.

• Halle Berry tried to kill herself once! When will her shocking revelations of victimhood end? When she stops having movies to promote, maybe. [Page Six]
  

Defamer is committed to connecting those individuals whose budding acting careers have been hampered by their striking resemblance to certain Hollywood superstars with exciting opportunities to finally put their unoriginal good looks to productive use. Just moments ago, this notice from a company handling a stunt marketing campaign for inevitable cyberstalking blockbuster Perfect Stranger dropped into our inbox, which we're happy to pass along to you, the reader who is often interrupted in the middle of a quiet night out by intrusive Catwoman or Striking Distance fans who mistake you for your more celebrated dopplegangers:

Halle Berry will star in Class Act, the true story of Terry Cahill, the sixth grade teacher who ran for Congress (and lost) with the help of her students. We were all ready to be uplifted, until we read further and discovered that Cahill is a white woman, and now are instead anxious about the coming protests from the perfectly employable Caucasian actresses whom DreamWorks is obviously trying to keep down. [Variety]
Dave Matthews will make the inevitable foray into acting that all rock stars attempt once they find there are no more co-ed groupies to conquer, appearing with Sissy Spacek in the family drama Lake City. But despite his attempt to separate his music from his new career by being credited as "David" Matthews, his collegiate fans still plan to follow the movie from theater to theater, assembling in lobbies hours before showtime to get high and perform clumsy renditions of his hits on bongos and battered acoustic guitars. [THR]
George Lucas has seen the future of the movie business, and it's not Hollywood's' current, wasteful, tentpole-driven strategy, but one where studios take the $200 million they budget for a single, crappy blockbuster and instead use it to produce 50 or 60 lower-budget, crappy movies. [Variety]
· Ludacris will play an angry elf in Fred Claus, the Vince Vaughn vehicle about the degenerate Claus sibling who nearly ruins Christmas. [THR]
Neal Mortiz's Original sets up two sitcom pilots at Fox, Think Tank and Macho Steve, whose comedic premises you can easily discern from their titles. [Variety]