This image was lost some time after publication.


Perhaps not fully realizing that a star on the Walk of Fame is an honor available to virtually any steadily working actress backed by a deep-pocketed company with something to promote, an overcome Halle Berry prostrated herself in gratitude upon her own slab of Hollywood immortality this morning, and on the last day it would be possible to do so without contracting a communicable disease from the filth of thousand vagrants, pressed her lips against the monument celebrating her myriad contributions to cinema.

According to our friends at the Wow Report, Berry was so moved by the ceremony that she invited all of her fans to a penetrative display of appreciation, saying, "I cannot tell you how good it feels inside me right now. I wish you all could be inside me right now to know how it feels." (Luckily, there was ample security on hand to prevent Angry Batman or Head-Butting Chewbacca to follow through on any cute ideas about an impromptu superhero orgy with the X-Men franchise's Storm.) Moreover, all in attendance were relieved to see their favorite peformer free of the life-devaluing demons that seem to plague her each and every time she has a movie about to premiere.

[Photo: AP]