Snooki sings a requiem for her coiffure of yore. Penelope Cruz confirms her pregnancy. Montana Fishburne is going to rehab. Chelsea Clinton averts her eyes from her husband. Come revel in the delights of Tuesday gossip.

Well, sorta gritty. Feel good movie costarring Tim McGraw gritty, at least. Here's the trailer for Paltrow's sappy-lookin' country drama about a washed-up, rehab-sprung country singer (Jo Dee Messina?) trying to pick herself up and be rich and famous again.

[Gwyneth Paltrow arriving at the Stella McCartney store in London. Image: Splash]

Hey, pull up your pickup and sit on this hay bale and listen to ol' windswept Gwyneth Paltrow sing you a country ballad. It's called "Country Strong", and is from her new movie of the same name.

Gwyneth introduces her spiritual guru to boat shoes crowd. Mel Gibson is not actually moving to Australia. (But maybe he should.) The Situation is writing a book. Lindsay Lohan is still in denial about jail. Monday gossip wants to believe.

The ethereal actress doesn't only cook beautifully and sing pleasingly. She plays the guitar capably too! She had to learn it, perfectly, for her new movie, Love Don't Let Me Down. She plays a washed-up country singer. Gwyenth, washed-up?? Never!

Gwyneth Paltrow, the world's most perfect person, has a little urban cottage in downtown Manhattan for whenever she's in town to gather perfect local meats and produce. Pictures have just been released and they are heavenly.

Gracing the cover of Vogue's annual Age Issue is American expatriate and actress Gwyneth Paltrow. She has a cookbook coming out, so they dispatched a food writer to cook with her at several of her mansions. It was sublime.

Mel Gibson is either a hero or a villain. Emma Watson dates an indie rocker. Mena Suvari: Married! Zach Morris: Divorced! The other Randy Jackson: speaking out! Sunday's Gossip Roundup is glitchy, not bitchy.

Coffee science! Radiation danger! Sunscreen cancer! Nasty Kit Kats! Lap band death! And Gwyneth Paltrow's Paltry Workout for Palsy Patients! It's your health-filled Health Watch, where we watch your health—as Milo of Croton watched his!

Now that Madonna's a swinging single cougar, Gwyn refuses to study Kabbalah with her. Star Jones writes The Devil Wears Prada about Barbara Walters. Britney faces two sex scandals. Heidi Montag just wants one. Thursday gossip has an achy-breaky heart.

Getting in shape for any movie is hard. But the preparation for Iron Man 2 undertaken by Gwyneth Paltrow and Robert Downey Jr. was like a NASA experiment. Gwyneth ate only Kale; Robert hit truck tires with a sledgehammer.

The low-talker. The close talker. The man hands. These are the tropes that we all loved back in Seinfeld's heyday. On The Marriage Ref, Jerry tried to inject some of that spirit into a new character: the overcaller.

The devil's prayers have been answered. Known eater of food Gwyneth Paltrow has taped an episode of The Marriage Ref that will air tomorrow. Soon your marriage could be judged by Gwyneth Paltrow. More than it already is. Look, video!

While chatting with Letterman about raising her two children with Chris Martin across the pond, Gwyneth bemoaned the two most widespread and truth-based stereotypes about England (bad teeth and bad food) to rapturous applause.

[The shorts-wearing actress in New York yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Gwyneth won't play Nicole's wife in a movie because Kidman dissed her. Lindsay Lohan is more than $500,000 in debt. Sandra Bullock is in trouble again. Jennifer Aniston is going to direct. Monday's gossip is a damsel in distress.

From time to time on Gawker we stop to look at what Gwyneth Paltrow is eating. It's a lot! Though, like most people who seek comfort in bad foods, it does not cure her problems. She is still very angry.

While filming a movie-picture in Nashville, the blogging actress recently discovered delicious fried foods. Now in her latest Goop missive she regales us with a tale of how she discovered sweet frozen parlour treats.