Lil Wayne will be spending a year in jail in New York for gun possession. This marks the law's biggest blow against rap since they got Foxy Brown, Remy Ma, Lil Kim, Chi Ali, Prodigy, Saigon, Shyne, TI, and Mystikal.

Have the political gods gone crazy? It would appear that way, because the Senate voted to allow Americans, who aren't always the most stable of folk, to carry unloaded and locked guns on Amtrak trains. How can this be good?

Campy Jewish Self-Defense Squad to the rescue! Of the news cycle! Where does today's instantly classic New York Post cover of NYC's most self-serious gun-totin' rabbis rank in the canon of Pop Culture Jews With Guns?

Curious about what it's like to be shot in the head? Here you go.

As if it wasn't bad enough that Bernie Madoff investors were handing over their money to a con artist to manage, it seems they were also putting their trust in a drug-addicted gun freak, too. When Bernie Madoff's right-hand man Frank DiPascali pleaded guilty earlier this week to charges he helped engineer the $65 billion scheme and he agreed to cooperate with prosecutors, the deal also guaranteed DiPascali that the feds wouldn't come after him for the "use of controlled substances prior to 1992" and "for possessing illegal firearms up until last Friday." Between this news and the revelation that Bernie had a 20-year affair that no one knew about, the made-for-TV Madoff movie is getting spicier by the day, isn't it? [NYP, WSJ]

Oh, Louisville: you are so loved! You have horse races. Fine theater. A birthplace for baseball bats. And now: a church where the pastor is inviting his parishioners and the public to bring their guns inside the sanctuary, today.

Princeton was on lock down because somebody saw somebody walking around with a gun! But now the "all clear" has gone out. It was just drunk dumpster-diving townies threatening the Ivy Leaguers with a squirt gun, as usual:

Finally, some intrepid journalists have infiltrated the Somali pirates'...dusty hangout area, with video cameras! 20/20 pals around with pirates tonight, on television. Watch this clip of America's new enemy, with guns, on a little boat!

Here is what is happening in America today: citizens grow obese; paranoia sets in; we all huddle in our homes, poor and alone, doing workout videos and cleaning our many, many guns, preparing for battle.

Before he walked into a Binghamton immigration center and shot 13 people to death last Friday, Jiverly Wong sent a letter to a Syracuse TV station, explaining his motives. He is a courteous, crazy man.

Hey ladies, lock up your vaginas, because Neil "The Game" Strauss—last seen telling you how to pull much vagina—is back, with a new book! It's about how pickup artist-authors can survive hurricanes or something.

The Memphis Commercial-Appeal posted on its website a publicly available list of citizens who have concealed weapons permits. Did this cause gun nuts to go crazy, terrifying the newspaper's editors? You bet!

What scrapes will those goofy Street View cars get into next? Google's roving panopticons ran over a baby deer and captured a guy toting a gun on the street. America, you are Google Maps!

Being a fan of rapstress M.I.A. is a rollercoaster ride. Her songs are good. You love her. She says dumb things, you hate her. Songs are good again, great. Then she says annoying things again!

Did Bernie Madoff steal your life savings or bankrupt your non-profit organization? Are you Mort Zuckerman or Steven Spielberg? We're here to help! If you happen to be a gun enthusiast—or you enjoy the occasional game of darts—we've created a Bernie "silhouette" for you to use the next time you head to the range or bar. You'll be pleased to hear that it conforms to the National Rifle Association's official standards for indoor/outdoor target practice. (Well, except for Bernie's head, which was our doing and hopefully won't lead any gun-toting members of the NRA to come after us.) And you can use the little scorecard in the corner to track your performance! Your anger will dissipate in no time! Click here for a larger picture of the silhouette, although if you're planning to actually use this at a gun range, you'll need to download a lifesize version, which you can do right here. Oh, and if you don't have a firearm or a gun license but you'd still like to take a shot at Bernie, give the West Side Rifle & Pistol Range a call. For $65, they'll let you shoot off 50 rounds under the watchful eye of an instructor. And they allow you to bring your own targets, too!

A whopping 37,000 New York City residents have a license to own or carry a gun, according to the Times. (One notable person not on the list: Plaxico Burress.) Subtract out the people who are either cops or security guards and there are still some 17,000 people who have the right to bear arms. Not including those of us who happen to keep unlicensed Kalashnikov assault rifles under our beds, of course. [City Room]

If we had to list the worst things a celebrity could do in a nightclub in order of ascending dumbness, they would go like this: 1. Bring a gun to a nightclub. 2. Get arrested for bringing a gun to a nightclub. 3. Get shot at a nightclub. 4. Get shot at a nightclub and also arrested. 5. Shoot yourself accidentally with a gun you brought to a nightclub illegally, and then get arrested for it. So New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress truly achieved the pinnacle of nightclub stupidity last weekend by accomplishing #5. And the felony complaint against him shows he damn sure can't claim self-defense:

Oh hmm interesting, long-ago rock person Ted Nugent is talking once again about some mixture of guns and Republicanism. You've found your niche, Ted! He thinks the problem with the Republican party is all the sellouts "compromising values and cutting deals with the socialist prankster punksters." "My specialty is making Fedzilla punks squirm and turn into a puddle of sweat and drool," adds Ted. A funny occurrence would be if a prominent socialist prankster punkster NObama supporter such as former Steelers running back Jerome Bettis were to punch Ted Nugent until he, ironically, was drooling upon himself. [Human Events via Opinionator]

The most important election in a generation is just four days away. Every day brings fresh news about the crumbling American economy. So how are good 'ol Americans coping with these turbulent times? They're buying guns in record numbers, of course! That's what Fox News is reporting, at least, which says FBI background checks are up nine percent from last year. And just in case you weren't aware of it, this increase is all Barack Obama's fault. Decent Americans are just buying up lots of guns now so they have them in case Obama wins the election and he changes gun control laws, in which case you'll have to pry their semi-automatics from their cold, dead hands.

Every time—every time—a horrible tragedy befalls a famous person, some of our nation's most clueless PR practitioners use it as a news peg for some unfortunate client. And of course that tradition continues with the news that singer and actress Jennifer Hudson's whole family was murdered! When hearing such horrible news, we're bound to ask ourselves: Is there any "invaluable device" that could have saved them from their violent end? Well!: