The most important election in a generation is just four days away. Every day brings fresh news about the crumbling American economy. So how are good 'ol Americans coping with these turbulent times? They're buying guns in record numbers, of course! That's what Fox News is reporting, at least, which says FBI background checks are up nine percent from last year. And just in case you weren't aware of it, this increase is all Barack Obama's fault. Decent Americans are just buying up lots of guns now so they have them in case Obama wins the election and he changes gun control laws, in which case you'll have to pry their semi-automatics from their cold, dead hands.