Shriveled apricot and presidential candidate Donald Trump took the stage at Saturday Night Live on Saturday night, and he was every bit as bombastic and as orange as usual.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, a man not really known for a cool demeanor, is totally cool with being “transferred” off the main stage for Tuesday’s GOP debate — in fact, he says it’s not even a demotion so don’t worry about it because he’s not worried about it at all.

An infamous American myth, heralded by politicians for centuries, holds that George Washington, at the tender age of six, admitted his guilt by saying “I cannot tell a lie” after hacking down his father’s cherry tree. Ben Carson, it seems, has not heard this story.

There are only several hundred more days until the 2016 presidential election—have you picked your favorite candidate yet? No? Well, perhaps it would help to imagine each one of them, who are all so confident that they should be the next person to run this country into the ground, as a dog.

Another day, another dubious claim of violence from Dr. Ben Carson, a man who, for whatever reason, would very much like you to believe he stabbed a friend in the stomach and tried to attack his own mother with a hammer.

Alone in your room, in front of your mirror, holding a hairbrush as if it were a microphone, you can be anyone—either GOP candidate or Beyoncé. In this quiz, however, you can only be one: either GOP candidate or Beyoncé.

As Republicans continue to debate how they’re going to debate, one candidate has rejected the notion of collective bargaining, opting instead to negotiate directly with the networks he isn’t already feuding with. It’s Donald Trump, obviously.

The ideal GOP debate would feature little to no debating at all, if the working demand letter circulated Monday morning is to be believed.

If there’s one thing all 15 (!) Republican presidential candidates can agree on it’s that pretending televised debates are anything more than a sham—and that network TV journalists are actually journalists—is probably, at this point, a whole lot more trouble than it’s worth.

On Friday the GOP suspended its relationship with NBC amidst growing controversy over debate moderators who Wednesday took it upon themselves to ask candidates questions about themselves and their campaign platforms on live TV.

One of the formative stories in frontrunning GOP presidential candidate Ben Carson’s life, a tale he’s told in no less than six of his books and trotted out again on the campaign trail this year, describes how, as a teen, he became so enraged that he stabbed another boy. In every version of the story, the boy’s metal belt buckle fortuitously saves him from Carson’s stabbity wrath. But, as the Daily Beast’s Gideon Resnick noticed when he compared Carson’s accounts, that’s the only detail that’s consistent across all of them.

The waterfall of word garbage that has been tumbling out of Ben Carson’s mouth rages on today, with a quote that manages to neatly link abortions, rape and slave ownership all into one great, stinking pile.

Jeb Bush, the Republican presidential candidate also known as Jeb!, has a lot of stuff going on besides his campaign, you know.

When even George W. Bush, a man who once used the phrase “internets,” doesn’t like you, you know it’s bad.

“It’s hard to keep all that political mumbo-jumbo terminology straight sometimes!” thought Ben Carson as he wrapped up another stellar interview this week.

The Mayor of Lewiston, Maine, has figured out the answer to society’s ills, and it comes in the form of public shaming.

Scott Walker, a bad governor from Wisconsin, became the second Republican candidate to drop out of the presidential race yesterday. Like Rick Perry, Walker was facing abysmal polling numbers and quickly running out of funds. Also like Perry, he was somehow considered a favorite in the race by certain pundits paid to think about such things.

Rick Perry, a doofus, became the first Republican presidential candidate to drop out of the 2016 race on Friday. After failing to raise enough money to pay his campaign staffers, and faced with the prospect of spending his second nationally televised debate at the equivalent of kids’ table, the former governor of Texas had little choice but to bow out.

Late last month, a strange file appeared on an Amazon server belonging to the Heritage Foundation, an influential Washington, D.C.-based think tank that remains widely regarded as one of the country’s most serious and respectable conservative institutions. The file—which appears to have been unintentionally uploaded by a Heritage staffer, rather than obtained by an intruder—offers a remarkable window into how Heritage maintains this reputation. It contains hundreds of emails and thousands of pages of internal fundraising reports documenting how the foundation navigated the flood of conservative conspiracy-mongering that followed Obama’s election in 2008, and how its staffers discussed the increasingly bizarre ideologies of its donor class with puzzlement and occasional derision.