And they were not permitted to kill anyone, but to torment for five months; and their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it stings a man. And in those days men will seek death and will not find it; they will long to die, and death flees from them.

Louis Virtel is a comedian, prolific tweeter, and one-time Jeopardy! contestant whose sassy appearance on the show went viral last year. Yesterday, to promote its “Snap of the Union” stunt on gop.gov (“House Republicans will give you an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at President Obama’s final State of the Union address. How? Via Snapchat, of course.”), the House Republicans used an gif of Virtel’s flamboyant reaction to nailing a $5,000 Daily Double. Virtel was not amused.

The upcoming Republican presidential debate just did Rand Paul and Carly Fiorina the dirty.

Tyrant idolizer and drug lord pal Donald Trump has lots of influence these days, and he’s taken to wielding it with the delicacy of a flame thrower.

Donald Trump, a man who could be called equally as fascist as many a dictator who came before him, has a new hero—or, rather, a new supreme leader.

At some point in 2014, long before House Republicans offed leader John Boehner, they reportedly recruited as his replacement a man who was a mostly unknown figure at the time: Dr. Ben Carson.

Should we be surprised that Donald Trump, a man who made national news for mocking someone with a disability, would vengefully withhold medical care for a sick infant? The answer is no, no we should not be surprised.

“My bad” is as good an excuse as any, right?

At a campaign rally in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina today, the leading Republican candidate for president—Donald Trump—claimed to know words. “I know words, I have the best words,” he said to the crowd. Alright, if you say so.

Donald Trump, a man who has very clearly shown that authority is not becoming of him, was just given one doozy of a responsibility.

It hasn’t been an easy year to be Jeb Bush. He peaked in July, lost his groove, recovered his groove, realized he’d borrowed his new groove from a child predator, quietly phased it out again, and pet a stuffed moose. Fortunately, social media was there to chronicle every godforsaken gloomy minute.

“Mr. Worldwide” has always been in search of a Mrs. Worldwide, a special someone with whom to share his enormous wealth and love of Miami. Perhaps a fellow Floridian would do the trick! Enter Jeb Bush, formerly of the moniker Jeb!, a man who may just be the future Mrs. Worldwide—or at least Mr. Worldwide, Jr.

Donald Trump, a man whose ire for the media has been matched only by his ire for minorities, extended a warm and loving olive branch to journalists this week: the promise that he will not, in fact, have them slaughtered.

Jeb! Bush, lover of all things tech and all things cool, really does not love jerks. In fact, he hates them so much that, as of this writing, he has officially begun the War on Jerks™.

Apparently, all it takes for Donald Trump to perform poorly in polls is the mere suggestion that an entire religion should be banned from the country he hopes to run.

The Twitter of Cher, which consists mainly of a frantic jumbles of exclamation points and emojis, is always a joy to watch, and even more so when a presidential candidate is involved.

John Boehner left Congress in October. Traditionally, the law states that the government will pay for ex-Speakers of the House to keep an office on Capitol Hill for five years with up to three aides. Today, two House Republicans announced they intend to end that practice. Hmmm.

When even Dick Cheney, a man who has both been accused of war crimes and shot his friend in the face, deserts you, it can’t be a good sign.

It’s only been a few minutes since the Trump campaign called for an open, sweeping policy of institutional bigotry at the federal level, and already his Republican rivals are chiming in.