Donald Trump’s army of racists grew by (at least) one on Friday, when noted bigot and Governor of Maine Paul LePage endorsed the presidential candidate.

Bane of his family’s existence Ted Cruz isn’t very popular among his colleagues, either—this much we knew. Ted, however, still seems to be struggling with the concept. Because while attending Antonin Scalia’s funeral this past weekend, he kept insisting on sitting next to other humans. And absolutely no one wanted to sit next to Ted.

Last night, your favorite Republican candidate once again got massacred by Donald Trump. It might seem like things are getting pretty dire. It’s going to be hard for you to defend your favorite Republican candidate to your co-workers at the water cooler, where you all discuss politics daily. But you really shouldn’t worry. Honestly. Your favorite Republican candidate is going to beat Donald Trump, there’s no question about it. Just listen to their campaigns!

Billionaire casino mogul Sheldon Adelson has, so far in this election, refrained from donating obscene amounts of money to any one candidate. (He’s reportedly waiting to see how things play out in an effort to avoid wasting another $100 million this election cycle.) But he did show up to caucus last night for... someone.

Marco Rubio has decided to dispel the rumor that he is, in fact, a robot by lightening up a little. First on the docket: talking smack to Ted Cruz’s 76-year-old father.

Few endorsements are enough to convincingly, without a shred of a doubt, predict the candidate who will become the leader of this many-splendored country. But the country’s foremost pundit and ex-Funky Bunch member Donnie Wahlberg has spoken, and the race can, for all intents and purposes, end.

Donald Trump is finally starting to talk some sense.

Mitt Romney, a man not really known for making good choices, is set to endorse Sen. Marco Rubio for the Republican presidential candidacy.

Sometimes it’s better not to know what the majority of people believe, because it will scare you. In this case, it’s just too late.

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump edged out Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio to win the Republican primary on Saturday evening, giving us all a little more hope that the country and the world is headed for a slow and excruciating demise.

In an attempt to force themselves into some sort of truce, Ted Cruz and Ben Carson decided to handle the situation like adults, face to face, mano a mano, standing alone in a guarded storage closet for nearly 25 minutes, according to a new report from The Daily Beast.

If you’ll recall, a few days ago, Heidi Cruz revealed that the human flesh mask she married has a habit of calling out of the blue and making noises at her set to song. Now, we get to hear that singing bag of skin for our very selves.

When Donald Trump got booed, loudly and often, during the Republican National Debate Saturday, he blamed it on an audience stacked with “donors and special interests.” Turns out, he wasn’t wrong.

By some sad twist of fate, Ted Cruz, a man whose face is regularly broadcast to millions of television viewers, does not possess a face that is pleasing to the eye. What’s worse, he’d now like to openly display that face to the public for hours on end: the Senator from Texas has promised a filibuster.

Saturday night’s hellish Republican debate covered nearly everything: mooning, 9/11, and even a quick Spanish lesson. But one important policy issue no one even touched on? Vaping.

The dialogue during the Republican presidential debate on Saturday evening got heated. So heated, in fact, that it devolved into an entirely different language, giving everyone in the audience a fun glimpse at the Spanish skills of the candidates who want to expel many of this country’s Spanish-speaking residents.

In the hours running up to Saturday night’s Republican presidential debate, candidate Donald Trump took some time out to wage a dumb, pointless war with the Republican establishment.

Ali Shamkhani, chief of Iran’s Supreme National Security Council, claimed today that U.S. Republican officials reached out to Tehran asking that the recent release of four American prisoners be delayed until after the upcoming presidential election. There are very good reasons to be skeptical of Shamkhani’s claim. If it is true, it is completely insane.

Remember when the Republican debate moderators completely forgot about the existence of John Kasich on Saturday night? Well the Governor of Ohio will not be silenced—in fact, he’s gaining in the polls, and fast.

On this day of all days, arguably the most important day of the year for both athletics and for #brands, we must not forget the ties that bind us: namely, the ties between the Denver Broncos’ quarterback, and the youngest Bush boy.