A federal judge ordered that Wesley Snipes surrender himself and serve his three-year prison sentence. He was convicted in 2008 for not filing taxes. Hopefully he'll go willingly. The star of U.S. Marshals must know all the escape tricks!

MSNBC, just to put itself on the record as "consistent," has suspended Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough for the same reason it suspended Keith Olbermann: Political donations without advance approval. Interestingly, Politico, where Scarborough writes a column, instigated the suspension.

Literally nothing in this world (except pudding) currently interests Rupert Murdoch more than the ongoing development of News Corp's tablet-computer-centric daily publication The Daily. Murdoch plans to achieve preemptive dominance in iPad journalism. Today: details—of the future!

Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten, 1977: "God save the Queen/And her fascist regime." Former Sex Pistol John Lydon, 2010: "I loved the fact William gave Kate Diana's engagement ring... He does have that slightly shoddy look but he's all right."

Did you catch the excerpt we posted yesterday from Sarah Palin's new book? Sarah did. She tweets with rage: "The publishing world is LEAKING out-of-context excerpts of my book w/out my permission? Isn't that illegal?"

British Prime Minister David Cameron says he may declare Prince William's impending wedding day a national holiday. Prince Charles and Princess Di had one declared for their nuptials 30 years ago. Monarchy doesn't look so bad now, does it?

Toadlike Fox News mastermind Roger Ailes has always been thought of as an evil genius—even his detractors admire his media-savvy PR brilliance. It's not true. In fact, he's an isolated old man whose anger has driven him insane.

Real Housewife of New York Sonja Morgan filed for bankruptcy in New York yesterday. She listed about $13 million in assets and $19 million in debt. Being secretly poor is an epidemic with these ladies!

In your packed Thursday media column: Jeff Bewkes hides in plain sight, News Corp's looking to poach from the NYDN, the decline of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, AMI's bankrupt, and Vice comes to MTV.

On her Facebook page, Bristol Palin quasi-apologized for egging on sister Willow during a Facebook freakout about a "faggot." Then, Bristol took a page from her mother's playbook, complaining about "haters" who seek to "destroy" her magnificent televised dancing career.

Who: The CEO of the rather generic-sounding American Media Inc., Pecker oversees a collection of more than a dozen magazines and newspapers including the National Enquirer and Star. The company filed for bankruptcy protection in November 2010.

Musician Patti Smith won the nonfiction National Book Award on Wednesday for her memoir Just Kids, while Jaimy Gordon's Lord of Misrule came out of nowhere (well, Kingston, N.Y.) to win the fiction prize. Everyone was very surprised! And drunk.

[A leaf blower clears off the plaza in front of the U.S. Capitol, where new members of Congress are in the middle of freshman orientation. Image via Getty]

Chris DeWolfe's divorce is getting ugly. The MySpace co-founder and former CEO now has a restraining order barring contact with his wife and four-year-old daughter. There's also a gag order, reportedly, on unspecified allegations against him involving a minor.

And with only a few hundred write-in votes left to count, the AP calls it: Lisa Murkowski has finally defeated Joe Miller in Alaska's Senate race as a write-in candidate. Be nice to her now, Republicans: She's your Joe Lieberman.

Reality TV staple and boho scarecrow stylist to the stars Rachel Zoe has confirmed via Twitter the conventional wisdom of gossipmongerers: At the age of 39 (give or take, she lives in vague) Rachel is pregnant. Mazel tov! [@rzrachelzoe]

In order to reach the comforts of the friendly skies, you must first pass through America's famed airport security. Which can be quite an ordeal, at times! Below, ten tips to make your security experience as fun as possible.

The Longoria-Parkers face conflicting rumors about adultery and divorce. Pink is pregnant. Stewart-Pattinson probably didn't get married, but Ochocinco will soon. Wednesday gossip is at loggerheads.

Kyle Shaw, the 19-year-old who set off a bomb outside a Manhattan Starbucks last year in a Fight Club-inspired bit of anarchist idiocy, has been sentenced to 3.5 years in prison. Speaking as a former teen idiot: that seems harsh.

According to The Huffington Post, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg and MSNBC host Joe Scarborough "have begun trying to figure out whether they could be an independent presidential ticket in 2012." Here's how they could win.