In this old-school edition of the Stalk: Benjamin Curtis, Cuba Gooding Jr, Kirsten Dunst with Jason Schwartzman and Jake Gyllenhaal, Anna Wintour in Brooklyn, Dylan McDermott, Jake Gyllenhaal and Martha Plimpton, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Anna Paquin, Matt Lauer, Hilary Swank, Tim Robbins, Barbara Bush, Adrian Grenier, Ed Norton, Johnny Knoxville, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Liev Schreiber , Joe Torre, Parker Posey, Lauren Ambrose and Kevin Roeme, Anne Hathaway at, John Waters, Ed Burns, Judah Friedlander, Chris Klein and Ginnifer Goodwin , Kate Winslet, Tyrese, Gilbert Godfried , Ice-T, Donald Sutherland, Gerard Way, Sandra Bernhardt, Janeane Garofalo, Eddie Van Halen, David Blaine, Alice Cooper

In this traditional version of the Stalk: Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Saarsgard, Billy Crystal, Oprah, Margherita and Mamma Missoni, Ricy Gervais at a Mets game, Adrien Grenier, Lauren Ambrose, Kristen Dunst, Sarah Jessica Parker and James Wilkie, Uma Thurman, Michelle Williams, Angie Harmon, Helen Hunt and Bette Midler, Mario Batalli, Jason Schwartzman, Hilary Swank, Mary Kate Olsen and Maximillian Snow, Abigail Breslin, Gavin DeGraw, Vanessa Minnillo, Ed Burns, Claudia Schiffer, Keri Russell, Ewan Mcgregor, Elijah Wood, Bono and Bobby Shriver, Arianna Huffington, Princess Beatrice of York, Jason Lewis, Rosario Dawson, Lucy Liu, Bernadette Peters, Will Smith, Jamie Gertz, Carlos D, Fat Joe, and Tina Louise.

Despite appearances, Naomi Watts has not remained shuttered up in the Bliss spa in Soho since midweek. The Gawker Stalker map is enjoying a few tech burps at the moment; we shall have them resolved by Monday. If you've sent in sightings in the past couple days, never fear, your work will still show up on the map once it resurrects. And please continue to send your stalkings to tips@gawker.com, and all will be made whole again. We'll get you yet, Clooney.

In this TGIF edition of old-skool, text-based, apparently non-celebrity-menacing Gawker Stalker: Anna Wintour, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin eating dinner with Jay Z and Beyonce, La Blohan, Bruce Willis and Petra Nemcova, Robin Williams, Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, Keanu Reeves, Diddy, Hilary Swank, Shakira, Bridget Moynahan, Jena Malone, Julia Stiles, Mike Myers, Fred Schneider, Joaquin Phoenix, Naomi Campbell, Isabella Rossellini, Cynthia Nixon, Matt Dillon, Don Cheadle, Woody Allen, Tim Robbins, Alec Baldwin and Nicole Seidel, Kevin Bacon, Rene Russo, Tyra Banks, Jodie Foster, Jennifer Esposito, Lucy Liu, Dan Aykroyd, Larry King, Kevin Klein and Phoebe Cates, Allie McGraw, Ja Rule, Geraldo, Dolly Parton, and the ubiquitous Tony Danza. All the reports — sent in by readers and entirely unverified — are after the jump. And, of course, sightings are always life-threateningly available on Gawker Stalker Maps.

Ms. Coen is off "endangering the lives of celebrities"; I've agreed to step in and help Mr. Oxfeld insure you're not too miserably bored at work today. I thought I'd start off with the image that shook me to my core when I turned on my computer this morning. Yes, the tattoo above is supposed to look like Tori Spelling. (And it's also supposed to be sexy.) Apparently, Tori's fiance, Dean McDermott, got the tat in honor of Valentine's Day but only recently shamed himself by displaying it in public. Now all we have to do is wait for the inevitable breakup and the Dr. 90210 episode when Dean heads to see Dr. Robert Rey to have it removed. — Remy Stern

Good morning and hello to all of you who've come fresh to this site after seeing its proprietors on about ten thousand different entertainment shows explaining why providing detailed information about celebrity meanderings is actually a public service. Unfortunately, the lovely J. Co is unable to be here today as she's doing deep surveillance on the bodega-going habits of John Stamos, so your old pal TMFTML will be playing the role of gossipy blonde. The part of media-savvy gay will, as always, be played by Jesse Oxfeld. Let's get into trouble, baby.

In this edition of the Stalk: Liza Minnelli, Luke Wilson, Benicio Del Toro, Anderson Cooper, Peter Dinklage and Ann Magnuson, Josh Hartnett, Tim Robbins, Jimmy Fallon, The Donald and Melania, Reese Witherspoon, Mira Sorvino, Jon Corzine, Larry and Mrs. David, Pierce Brosnan, Keanu Reeves, Elijah Wood, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, Marc Jacobs, Will Arnett, Richard Gere and Carrie Lowell, Lena Olin, Ryan Adams, Heather Graham, Kevin Connolly, Ed Burns and Christy Turlington, Tom Cavanaugh, Keri Russell, Chris Parnell, Jon Bon Jovi, and Rachael Ray

• Mike Myers and his wife of the past 12 years, Robin Ruzan (whose Jewish mother was the inspiration behind Myers' Linda Richman character on Saturday Night Live), have filed for divorce. What went wrong? By using the clues in Gawker Stalker, you can piece together the decline of a marriage and the rise of an alcoholic. Which is exactly what we designed the feature for. [The Apiary]
• A court has lifted a Santa Fe woman's restraining order against David Letterman, who, she claims, used code words during his show to give her instructions on how to eat crayons and wear tinfoil hats. [AP]
• When bloggers turn unreasonably nasty on commonfolk, nobody wins. It's akin to cannibalism, snarking on one's own kind. [Perez Hilton]
• Yes, we know that horsey 90210 alum Tori Spelling is engaged to a new beau, despite being not yet divorced from her ex-husband. May her new man enjoy riding her around the Spelling mansion. [Us Weekly]
• Patrick Swayze is delving into hip-hop, using "rap rhythms as an emotional undercurrent for ballads." We always felt Dirty Dancing would be profoundly improved with the addition of gold teeth and bitches. [AllHipHop]
• You may consider yourself a gay wino, but are you gay and drunk enough to own a collectible bottle of Madonna's "Confessions on a Dance Floor" wine? [Celebrity Cellars]
• A new sense of pity for Women's Wear Daily reporter Jacob Bernstein, whose mother Nora Ephron will never be happy until her baby boy finds her a cabbage strudel. [NYT]

In a profile of Natalie Portman in Blender magazine — looking a bit undernourished on the cover (below) — writer Ariel Levy describes accompanying Portman to an M.I.A. concert in Central Park, and then references a Gawker Stalker's take on the same event.

*BREAKING* JUDITH MILLER AT BALTHAZAR: DESCRIBES WARM GOAT CHEESE AND CARMELIZED ONION TART AS 'MOST SOULLESS BRUNCH I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED'

Send me celebrity sightings (i.e., Renee Zellweger, Nobu, 12:40PM) and I'll post them in real timeor Gawker-adjusted real time, meaning you email me and I happen to be in front of a computer. Send to tips@gawker.com.