Not that you needed any proof that Doug Schoen, the angry white pollster who plays the role of "Democrat" stool pigeon in the Fox News' political soap opera, is actually revanchist conservative just like the rest of them. But just in case: A tipster reports that Schoen will be briefing members of a notorious right-wing secret society on Monday. Because that's the sort of thing Democrats do, for fun.
While a roomful of people at Ronald Reagan's library were begging Chris Christie to run for president last night, Sarah Palin was making a whole new fool of herself on Fox News! Why would she needs a "title," like president, she explained. Wouldn't that prevent her from being completely irresponsible at all times, which is her... charm?
Thanks to Chaz Bono's knee injury and Nancy Grace's wardrobe malfunction, last night's Dancing with the Stars was a lesson in human anatomy. After expressing his horror at the sight of Grace's nipple on tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart couldn't wait to see how the prudes at Fox & Friends would react to it. But as Stewart soon learned, the Fox panel's reaction to Grace's nip-slip was nothing compared to their stupid, juvenile comments about Bono.
Fox News' favorite media reporter, NewsBeast's Howie Kurtz, has a new piece out about how Roger Ailes has gone soft, "repositioning" Fox News to be less overtly racist and "pull[ing] back a bit on the throttle" of inchoate conspiratorial rage directed against Obama. Kurtz's source for this objectively verifiable fact is Fox chief Roger Ailes, so you know it's true.
The Republican presidential candidates are debating tonight in Orlando, shining city of "corporate amusement parks"! Our hosts for the evening are Fox News and Google, who have planned all sorts of gimmicky social media bullshit to whiz by the candidates' faces throughout the evening. Which of these nine suckers will lose the most? Let us consider that, and other concerns.
It was fifteen years ago next month that the malevolent force known as Fox News Channel first ruptured Rupert Murdoch's birth-sac and emerged, steaming and foul, onto our television screens. The gang is all getting together to celebrate the upcoming special day with a party tonight at Chelsea Piers in Manhattan. Chelsea Piers, right on 11th Avenue around 23rd St. Everyone will be there—Roger, Bill, Gretchen, Steve, Sean, Jesse, Rupert. Go say hi!
In your mordant Monday media column: News Corp pays up for Milly Dowler, Janet Robinson tweets in secret, Ted Koppel could head to NBC, Americans think Fox News is "the best," and a Senator's wife finally resigns from a newspaper.
Jay Shells is the New York guerrilla artist famous for his unofficial subway etiquette posters. For his latest project, he's put up urban etiquette signs across the city. Got himself an interview on Fox News today! You'll want to watch all the way through to the end of this clip, when he tells the Foxbot about his aborted plans for a "Fox News Lies" sign. She is miffed! Jay, how could you??
For a "despicable," "slimy," "scummy," "lousy," "irresponsible," "treasonous," "dying," "sweatshop" of a web site that you'd never invite to your child's birthday party, Gawker sure does supply a lot of material for Fox News! Last night, RedEye picked up our item on a forthcoming New York Times story about how Barack Obama haz a sad.
After announcing it to Congress last week, President Obama unveiled the $450 billion American Jobs Act at the White House on Monday. The next morning, Fox & Friends ripped the President for fastening the 200-page bill with a "chintzy clip," a move Stephen Colbert described as "Clip-gate" on tonight's Report.
Nobody wants Sarah Palin to run for president, except for every Democratic political operative and a persistent twenty-ish percent of the Republican electorate who only want her. Of course, she probably won't. But Republican pundits really want her to clarify that decision soon, if only to silence her supremely irritating fans.
Dick Cheney, fresh off the publication of his new chapbook of mystic poems inspired by the work of Duccio di Buoninsegna, appeared on Fox News Sunday today. What did he and host Chris Wallace do? Said stupid attention-grabbing things with almost no substance at all, such as, and I'm paraphrasing here, "Hillary Clinton would have been easier to work with than Barack Obama and also I am a horrible war criminal who shot an old man in the face."
Another September presidential debate has been announced, you guys! Now we have ones scheduled for September 7, 12, and 22, so don't forget to stock up on whiskey and hydrocodone. Especially for the last one: The Google/Fox News debate, which will feature an array of cutesy social media tricks they're calling "context."
