Authorities say a Florida teen shot himself in the forehead while under the effects of magic mushrooms because he thought he was dreaming and wanted to wake up.

Police in Florida say they were alerted Monday to a naked man masturbating inside a Jeep Cherokee while driving around the St. Lucie County seat of Fort Pierce.

Every lifeguard wants to be a hero, but you can't just go around saving people willy-nilly. Tomas Lopez learned that the hard way when he got fired for trying to save someone outside of his jurisdiction.

Which dangerous, trendy nightmare drugs was Rudy "Miami Cannibal" Eugue "tripping balls" on when he tried to eat the face of 65-year-old Ronald Poppo in May? Was it "bath salts" — "the new LSD"? Or "Spice," the "synthetic marijuana"? Or was he on LSD, the "old LSD"? Or was it cocaine psychosis? Or was it all of the drugs at once?? Let's look at the coroner's report to find out:

Florida's State Attorney was looking forward to taking the Sunshine State's newly minted anti-bestiality law out for a spin on Eric Antunes of Clearwater, but the heavy-petter was spared because of a loophole that makes it technically legal to perform oral sex on an animal.

Today, Florida prosecutors released taped phone conversations between George Zimmerman and his wife Shellie while Zimmerman was incarcerated. Under serious discussion: the website with which Zimmerman was able to raise over $130,000 dollars in donations.

Nadya Suleman, or Octomom as she's still fondly labeled, is being threatened with legal action from T's Lounge, a classy strip joint in West Palm Beach, Florida. Suleman was scheduled to perform July 11-14, but she canceled her limited engagement earlier this month.

Jim Greer, former Chairman of the Republican Party of Florida, has good reason to make accusations about former governor Charlie Crist. But that doesn't make them any less juicy.

Remember the hoopla that arose when it was revealed that Casey Anthony allegedly Googled the term "chloroform" either once or eighty-four times?

Florida governor Rick Scott is concerned about non-citizens voting in the upcoming presidential election. At least, that's his excuse for singling out 182,000 registered voters suspected of not being U.S. citizens. That number has since been whittled down to 2,600, but the Department of Justice would like Florida to call off the purge entirely.

It's been a little over a month since George Zimmerman got released from jail on an $150,000 bond. And just slightly less than that long since we learned he raised a lot of money on his website. Now the discrepancy between how much Zimmerman had, and how much he disclosed to the court, is being addressed.

By now we've all seen the awful, awful story about the Florida man who was shot to death by police for refusing to stop chewing on another man's face.

These two really, unbelievably gruesome photos, allegedly of the Miami man whose face was partially eaten off over Memorial Day weekend, have been circulating around the internet, because the sight of rended flesh is a visceral reminder of the unbearably thin dividing line between life and death, and also because they're really fucking gross.

More "fiction" says John Travolta's legal team: yet another masseur has come forward with allegations against the actor. This, of course, begs the question, how often does John Travolta get a massage?

"Trayvon Martin Had Drugs in System, Autopsy Found," ABC News tweeted yesterday afternoon. This was not, strictly speaking, true — Martin had a single drug in his system — and even then it's a bit misleading: the "drug" in question is the chemical THC, the active ingredient in marijuana.

Ah, Florida, cradle of justice. One day, when they document the great codifiers of the law, the names will ring out: Hammurabi, Solon, Justinian, Blackstone, Napoleon, Tallahassee. Last Friday, the state that's hosted the politically ugly Trayvon Martin reality show handed down a 20-year sentence against Marissa Alexander.

Here's an unsettling mail-related story in which the postal worker is the victim.

A Florida teacher is in serious trouble after photos taken in her class appeared to show her placing an Elizabethan collar on students allegedly caught misbehaving.

The best/worst grandparents of all time took their granddaughter (not pictured) on a joy ride she won't soon forget. Paul and Belinda Berloni used dog leashes to tie their granddaughter's Hot Wheels car to their SUV's trailer hitch, then proceeded to drive her around. Also, Paul was drunk and driving without a license, because he had his revoked 10 years ago for a DUI.

It's School Board meeting time in Duval County, Florida, and you know what that means: a chance to review the disciplinary infractions of teachers in Jacksonville's public school system. This story brings you all of the amazing highlights. What sort of educational rogue's gallery do we have this month, Duval County School Board?