Police in Gainesville have a new aid in the search for a man who's peeing on women near the University of Florida campus: a sketch of the perp that resembles a hoodie-wearing Cabbage Patch Doll, or a castoff Mr. Potato Head, or a racially fraught vaudevillian Muppet.

Daniel Allen Noble of Flagler County had the "Uzi-style" assault weapon. He had the ammo. He had the bandanna and blades and the look of a badass. He had some patrons of the Europa Lounge in his sights. And then he had his ass handed to him by some burly Slavic bar-goers.

This week in what the fuck is happening in Florida, a murderer who escaped a Kansas maximum security prison in 1977 was finally apprehended again while he lived his new life as an air conditioner repair man in Deerfield Beach, Florida. His wife had "no idea" he was living under a fake name.

Thursday night, a restaurant worker stabbed his boss to death for posting his picture online earlier this month.

This past January, Curtis Reeves, a former Tampa police officer, shot and killed a man who refused to stop texting during a matinee showing of Lone Survivor. As it turns out, Reeves was texting from the same theater just before his deadly confrontation with the man.

Angela Corey is the state attorney in Florida's fourth district. You may know her for her failure to convict George Zimmerman, and her failure to convict Michael Dunn of first degree murder. She is, however, excellent at sending black people to death row.

A little landlocked city in Florida is so outrageously corrupt that state officials are trying to abolish it.

This week in Florida Walmart: one in Tampa sold a steak tainted with LSD to a family four, all of whom ended up in the hospital after becoming ill and suffering hallucinations, according to the Tampa Police Dept.

There's never enough time or space to give him his due. Here's all he's been up to:

A pregnant Florida South Carolina mother who drove a minivan into the ocean with her three children inside has been charged with attempted murder.

According to these transcripts of internal chats, Gawker staff can't agree.

A snake eating a crocodile? That's so earlier this week. Now it's all about otters that eat alligators.

So tell me, "Sully" Sullenberger: How do you handle this one?

Good for him.

A man was arrested on Wednesday for allegedly having sex with a pit bull in his front yard while his terrified neighbors yelled at him to stop.

"ME: Married, with a Boca Raton trailer, a Klan flag, a Confederate flag with a skull, a 'members wanted' sign, and a lovely wife, ISO same. Had a noose, but uppity neighbors made me take it down. Are you my white-horsed grand knight in shining hood?"

The soon-to-be-ex-wife of Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) got a "temporary protective injunction" against the congressman Monday, after accusing him in court papers of physically assaulting her and threatening to ruin her life.

People down here in America's dongle like driving. And drinking. And apparently, driving off the buzz from drinking at home on your way to drinking at the bar.

Tony Panzino was losing his panties, and he wanted to know why.

A Miami teenager's overshare cost her family $80,000 last week after she posted a snarky, bragging Facebook status about a confidential lawsuit settlement agreement.