U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder is considering a challenge to Arizona's immigration bill.

Yesterday, Somali pirates dramatically seized a Russian oil tanker with 23 crew members and $52 million in oil aboard. But a "robust" response from a hearty band of Russian sailors has liberated the seamen—no oil necessary.

Hiram Monserrate lost his state senate seat after slashing his girlfriend's face with broken glass. Yesterday, Monserrate's former chief of staff was arrested for being a childish jerk. Everything Monserrate touches turns to shit. Now, you can legally punch him.

A quite disgustingly creative young man put two fingers down his throat and deliberately vomited over an off-duty cop and his children at a baseball game, following a confrontation. This did not pan out so well.

Fox and Friends morning Aryan Brian Kilmeade decided to have himself a little wrassle this morning with world champion MMA fighter BJ Penn. It was the greatest media guy vs. actual fighter bout since Alex Blagg took on Rampage Jackson.

Bloodied and bruised, this redneck barely emerges from a scuffle he started by himself. Maybe next time, he won't decide to pick a fight with the entire crowd.

"Breaking," ha: be-hair-gelled governing robot Mitt Romney was totally attacked by a fellow patriotic American whilst in flight! Romney did not get all fucked up—or did he(??). What we know at this point:

In retrospect, Sarah Silverman—queen of the rape joke—might not have been the best pick to speak to the nerds at TED. But now that it's done, Steve Case and Chris Anderson should back down before things get ugly.

The Real World D.C. house became a veritable Streetcar Named Desire as the relationship between housemates Emily and Ty escalated. There were exhibitions of brute strength! Spitting! Sexually charged fumblings!

Hee haw: Leading grammarian Sean Hannity made fun of Martha Coakley's campaign for misspelling "Massachusetts" in an ad, just after Hannity's show misspelled John McCormack's name. Hannity should have been lecturing McCormack on how to properly nut-punch someone.

A senior spitfire launches a verbal and physical assault on an old man outside a hospital in the London Borough of Croydon. As she swears and swings her pocketbook, one wonders how brutal her cheek pinching must be.

Gallup, New Mexico mayor Harry Mendoza saw Gallup newspaper publisher Bob Zollinger in a parking lot and what happened? Yes, they got in a fistfight. "Mendoza told police that Zollinger started poking him in the chest hitting his pacemaker."

Gothamites seamlessly transitioned from post-Christmas good will into pre-New Year's surliness, with a violent subway fistfight. We huddle around our laptops and trashcan fires to watch, indulging our ill-concealed bloodlust. Milk this bloody decade for all it's worth, you vampires.

Bravo producers attempted to get a big blow up for the finale of Million Dollar Listing last night. All they ended up with was two silly manboys in construction hats verbally sparring about puppies.

Rupert Murdoch is simply a man who likes to fight. End of the psychological profile! He has big plans to fight the New York Times. He has big plans to fight Google. And he could win both.

Have you ever gotten so mad at your god damn boss you just wanted to scream your guts out in his ugly face until one or the other of you threw up, from anger? Go for it, say scientists!

Aww, how nice. Mighty Ducks captain Scott Niedermayer gave that young, starry eyed girl his hockey stick! What the little girl didn't know is that certain angry adults would also like to be in possession of that stick. Fightfightfight!

Near-retiree Washington Post editor Henry Allen punched writer Manuel Roig-Franzia in the face after Roig-Franzia called him a "cocksucker." Hank Steuver, a WaPo colleague whose editor is Allen, thinks the man may have some issues:

Yesterday, 68 year-old Washington Post editor Henry Allen (pictured!) hauled off and popped staff writer Manuel Roig-Franzia right in his grill, like BLAM! The Washington City Paper now has all the details, and we are prepared to make a ruling.

A couple of writers in the Washington Post Style section filed some heinous "charticle"-type story on deadline, which made their retirement-aged colleague so mad he had to punch one of them in the face, like POW!