Yesterday, 68 year-old Washington Post editor Henry Allen (pictured!) hauled off and popped staff writer Manuel Roig-Franzia right in his grill, like BLAM! The Washington City Paper now has all the details, and we are prepared to make a ruling.

Erik Wemple reports that Allen and Roig-Franzia had been beefing for days before the incident, ever since Henry questioned one of Manuel's stories and Manuel called him a "dick." Then, last Friday, Manuel allegedly "reached across the table and grabbed Allen's notepad, tearing a page from it."

Cruising for a bruising, Manuel. Selling woof tickets. Your mouth is writing some pretty big checks. Can your ass cash those checks? Subsequent events indicate your ass cannot.

Fast forward to the battle in question later that day, when Manuel called Henry a "cocksucker" after he criticized another story:

At that, Allen leapt into action, shoving Roig-Franzia. He then popped him in the cheek [Ed. note: We hear there's still some question as to whether it landed on the cheek or the back of the head]. According to an eyewitness account, Roig-Franzia didn't try to match the 5-11, 200-pound Allen punch for punch, instead opting for more of a civil-rights-movementy kind of stance.

We think you get the picture. Allen was told never to return to the newsroom, the CP says, but guess what: he already took a buyout and was retiring this month anyhow. Haha.

Henry Allen wins. And incidentally—Allen reportedly told Roig-Franzia that the "charticle" that got him so mad in the first place was the second-worst story he'd seen in 43 years. The worst, according to the CP: "a mistake-ridden profile of Paul Robeson that never saw the printed page." Paul Robeson was also a badass.

Violence is wrong, etc.
[Self portrait by Henry Allen himself]