Have you reached the age of 23? Have you been arrested yet? If not, you are some sort of weirdo and/ or nerd. That is the scientific conclusion which must be draw from a new study that proves that getting arrested is no big deal now, mom, get off my back.

This big deal recording artist had to sleep with a man to get to where he is. This celeb couple loves to play with other famous pairs and these two costars don't talk on set. I guess sleeping with each other to get ahead is out of the question.

Here's a clip of North Koreans of all ages, openly and hysterically weeping in the streets over the death of Kim Jong-Il, broadcast on the same state media whose anchor broke down in tears while she read the news of the dictator's death. Seems like a healthy place, North Korea!

What a year it's been for Andrea Peyser, the sourpuss racist lesbian xenophobe sex fiend who serves as the conscience of New York City's most fascist tabloid. Today we are blessed with Andrea's "Year in Review" column, widely considered journalism's most exciting day after the Pulitzer Prizes. Equally looked-forward-to is our condensation of this column into readable form! Without further ado, we present The Shorter Version of Andrea Peyser's Year in Review Column, Which Is, Naturally, on the Topic of SIN:

You know, the one thing not missing from the Friday Night Lights series finale was the presence of a possessed golf cart mowing down the Permian Panthers' defensive line. The Spring Dekaney Wildcats were not so lucky: The Texan high school football team were barely able to celebrate their new state title when just such a berserk vehicle — like something out of a not-particularly-terrifying Stephen King novel! — sent the stadium into a panic. Everyone was okay, though, so it's all right to laugh. Hahaha! Runaway golf cart! [Buzzfeed]

With the death of Kim Jong-il, the world loses one of the greatest self-aggrandizing fantasists of all time. Here are ten of the craziest Jong-il stories floating out there:

Kim Jong-il, the fearsome, furtive, and fashion-forward leader of North Korea, is dead at age 69. This according to a weeping announcer on a "special broadcast" delivered on North Korean television on Monday. The Dear Leader was on a train traveling through Pyongyang during a "field guidance tour" at the time.

Thousands in Prague mourn the loss tonight of Velvet Revolutionary Vaclav Havel, who has died at age 75. Havel was a lifelong smoker with chronic respiratory problems, whose condition rapidly deteriorated in past months.

Another gruesome elevator death has shocked and terrified an already lift-phobic city. But this time it was no accident — as was the case with Wednesday's freak crushing of a 41-year-old ad executive at a Madison Ave. building — but rather a carefully premeditated act of murder perpetrated upon a 73-year-old Brooklyn woman. The term "coldblooded" here does not even begin to scratch the surface.

Here's retired Bishop/Occupy Wall Streeter George Packard ascending a ladder that takes him not to a higher spiritual level but to a vacant patch of land owned by Trinity Church. Occupiers want to convert Trinity's property into their next Zuccotti-like encampment—a plan that the church opposes because cleanliness is next to godliness, with emptiness not far behind.

After learning that Kentucky led the nation in the number of meth labs seized last year, glory-hungry (and hopefully flame-retardant) Missourians rigged up more labs than ever to make sure their state reclaimed the title of "America's meth capital."

For those of you who keep track of America's conservative family-values Republicans who are caught doing sexy gay things, here's a new name to add to your lists: Southaven, Mississippi mayor and failed Congressional candidate Greg Davis, who allegedly billed taxpayers $67 for purchases at a Canadian gay sex shop called Priape.

After studying 208 unmarried couples and their drinking habits, researchers at Canada's Dalhousie University have discovered that the binge-drinking of one partner in a relationship often transfers to the other partner. Alcohol abuse is a contagious disease.

Former University of Northern Colorado student Tom Mink (right) (ha, just kidding—left!) just received a $425,000 settlement from a bunch of Colorado cities for improperly searching his home and confiscating his computer after he'd created "Junius Puke," the Photoshop at right of UNC finance professor Junius Peake.

Vimeo founder Jake Lodwick was one of the original fameballs who rolled around Gawker's misty past. He's back, having just scored $1.5 million for a new venture that is, well… hm. It's unclear what it is.

The Marist College Institute for Public Opinion has done its annual survey and declared "whatever" the "word or phrase considered to be the most annoying in casual conversation" in 2011. Right. Ummm... sure. I mean... whatever.

Are you hard-hearted cynic who hates Christmas? Perhaps you have not heard about the Christmas Miracle of 2011: The K-Mart Mystery Christmas Layaway Payoffs.

Jack the Giant Killer, from X-Men director Bryan Singer, is the latest in a string of classic fairy tales darkly adapted for the screen. The problem with these is that they try so hard to avoid the kiss of box office death that is the for-kids-and-adults genre, that they end up being a silly, self-conscious incarnation of the anti-family flick and up looking like a Twilight afterthought, aesthetically anyway. And thus we have Jack, a retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk featuring Nicholas Hoult, the kid from the British Skins.

Yesterday we brought you the story of Glen Maxey, the gay former Texas legislator who wrote a book recounting his work with an unnamed reporter for an unnamed news outlet to document Rick Perry's homosexual dalliances. According to Politico, that news outlet was none other than the Huffington Post.

For years, nay, decades, public health scolds have tried and tried to politely inform the American people that drinking gallon upon gallon of Fanta cola in lieu of water could have negative health effects, including but not limited to the fact that we as a nation are now enormous. But! Now, public health advocates have learned to tap into that most primal fear of Americans: fear of exercise.