As a reporter, Tom Brokaw is dignified and unflappable — but you wouldn't like him when he's angry. A USA Today article quotes a statement Brokaw made via NBC in response to Mitt Romney's new "History Lesson" ad. The TV spot, which began running in Florida this weekend, is mostly footage from a 1997 Nightly News report on Newt Gingrich's ethics violation. And while Brokaw is admittedly rather sassy in the footage, he doesn't appreciate having it used out of context in a campaign attack ad.

The NY Daily News brings us the touching tale of a Brooklyn woman and her lucky garden gnome. Ever since Jennifer Pernice received the gag gift — it's your standard garden gnome in a Giants jersey — "The Giants have been doing pretty good." Look, either Pernice is the fun kind of crazy, or that gnome is actual magic. Either way it makes for a great story.

The Headwear Association has selected Kate Middleton as the Hat Person of the Year. Because apparently being a duchess wasn't a big enough honor. In THA's defense, Middleton was actually selected via an online poll. Also, I'm not sure how fashionable this organization is. They claim to have been founded in 1908, which looks to be around the same time they designed their blog.

Barring a glossy Bollywood remake — which, honestly, could be kind of fun — India will not be releasing The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. According to The Hollywood Reporter, India's Central Board of Film Certification demanded some pretty big content cuts. To which David Fincher said, "No fucking way." (I doubt he used that language, but when rejecting censorship, it's always fun to throw in an extra swear.)

The Huffington Post is reporting that four more of Rupert Murdoch's employees have been arrested. The current and former reporters for The Sun are suspected of bribing the police — and yes, one of the officers in question is also in custody.

Well, progress is progress. The New York Times reports that Greece is "inch[ing] toward [a] deal" establishing the new interest rates that Greek bonds will carry. No one can officially confirm what this compromise would entail, only that "bondholders have made significant concessions with regard to the interest rate." But let's not get too excited.

It should come as no surprise that The Grey AKA Liam Neeson Fights Some Goddamn Wolves topped the box office on Friday. The Hollywood Reporter predicts an $18 million weekend, which would be more impressive if it weren't competing against so many shitty movies. In second place, the Katherine Heigl vehicle One for the Money, which has the distinct disadvantage of no wolves and a fairly contentious star. Even Heigl, at one point, admitted that no one liked her.

Now that he's moved on to bigger and shinier things, Barack Obama has no need for his old mode of transportation. I'm actually pretty sure he ditched it a while back, but hey — now it can be yours. The eBay scourers over at BuzzFeed stumbled on an exciting opportunity to purchase Obama's 2005 Chrysler 300. For a paltry one million dollars, you can drive around in the same car then-Senator Obama may have used to travel between Washington D.C. and Chicago. That's right, no guarantees. At least the listing is honest?

On Thursday, TMZ reported that NBC's Fear Factor would be forcing its contestants to guzzle beer steins full of donkey urine and donkey semen. (The urine doesn't sound so bad, right?) This raises a whole lot of questions about what reality television is willing to put its contestants through — and what we, as a viewing public, are willing to watch. It's one thing when Andrew Zimmern eats at an all-penis restaurant on Bizarre Foods. This is a horrifying amount of unadulterated donkey jizz.

If your Twitter timeline is looking a little quieter this morning, it could be as a result of a day-long protest against Twitter's recent announcement that they would be blocking certain tweets in different countries. As it turns out, the concept of free speech and expression differs from nation to nation, and Twitter would rather not facilitate any illegal activity.

Google Plus is that Facebook thing Google made. It hasn't turned out to be the runaway success they wanted it to be, so Google has resorted to the Nuclear Option of uncool night clubs everywhere: Celebrity whoring.

Dear Cyber Woman with Corn: It's me, Max. How are you? I'm doing well. It rained a bit today, but I'm glad it's Friday — I'm ready to relax.

Having gained respect and accolades from women's groups worldwide for her portrayal of militant Redstocking Carrie Bradshaw, Sarah Jessica Parker will replace Demi Moore in the part of renowned Playboy bunny Gloria Steinem in Lovelace, the biographical film about pornographic actress Linda Lovelace. The one with Amanda Seyfried, not the other one. [EW; image via AP]

Update: Thanks to Doug Dobey and RVA Magazine we learn that Peele is likely wrong, and the person in question is Alford Faulkner, bassist for Red Cross and the Prevaricators.

The 10th President of the United States, John Tyler, was born in 1790 and still has two living grandchildren. And one of them, 84-year-old Harrison Tyler — born 138 years after his grandfather — just got suckered into a Politico interview, in which he had much to say.

What does it take to be the most obnoxious Christmas letter ever? An unbelievable level of smugness, yes, but also bragging about "a meal that costs the same as a Nissan Sentra," probably. From the tipster who sent this in:

Gov. Rick Perry, who is now less popular in Texas than Barack Obama following his failed presidential run, is cheering himself up by going out and playing with a big fucking gun.

Is it too late to give a Pulitzer to Murk Avenue's Donovan Strain? Because if figuring out the exact day on which Ice Cube had a good day (as described in his 1993 classic "It Was a Good Day") isn't Pulitzer-worthy, I don't know what is.

One rock solid rule of editorial writing is, if you're against something, you always want to find a way to compare it to Hitler. This works because people hate Hitler a lot—and, through the simple principle of transference, they will have an equal amount of hate for whichever thing you compare to Hitler. This is just a basic "trick of the trade" which cannot backfire.

The Washington Post is out with an excellent update on the history of the racist, homophobic, survivalist, nutcase newspapers that were published under his name in the 80s and 90s, which comes awfully close to confirming the most likely version of the story: He may not have written every word of them, but he sure signed off on them and wanted them written that way to pick up more subscribers and make more money.