20-year-old criminology student Marisol Valles became the bravest college girl in North America when she stepped up to be police chief of Guadalupe, Mexico's second-most violent city after Juarez. Nobody else would accept the position.

A Guardian reporter interviewed Sarah Palin while she was giving autographs to her fans. Sarah put her Sharpie marker on a book, a hat, and an American flag. The latter of which is against the law!

Candidates: Please include a notecard of recent Supreme Court decisions in your debate notes? Because when you're asked, as congressional candidate Jon Runyan was yesterday, which decision of the last 10-15 years you disagree with, 1857's Dred Scott won't fly.

20-year-old Zachary Adam Chesser, the guy who famously warned South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker about depicting the prophet Mohammed on their cartoon show, will plead guilty to (unrelated) terrorism charges in federal court today.

MTV announced a new slate of scripted movies, several of which are based on the network's reality franchises. With movies based on My Super Sweet 16 and Made in the works, can Jersey Shore be far behind?

For anyone who wants to have a few drinks without getting too messed up, beer is always a good choice. But the calories! And the beer belly! Fret no more. Here are the healthiest brews. The winner will surprise you.

Somehow-alive Hustler publisher Larry Flynt has seen New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino's many porn emails, approved, and offered him the job of executive editor at his magazine. Will Paladino accept, and bring more breast-milk fetish shots to Hustler?

Barack Obama will make an appeal to youth voters next week on The Daily Show, which Jon Stewart will be taping in Washington in preparation for his sanity-restoring rally. It will be Obama's first appearance since becoming president.

A man claiming to be Angelina Jolie's old drug dealer gave an interview to Life & Style. Among his accusations: She did a Charlie Rose interview high on cocaine. Here's video of the interview—does this woman seem high?

Surely you've heard of Brooklyn's own Jimmy McMillan, founder and CEO of the Rent Is Too Damn High Party, and candidate for governor of New York. He's fighting rent-hiking slumlords for you! Well, he's fighting everyone except his landlord.

What does Bill Clinton have in common with 27-year-old French street artist "JR"? No, not some sex thing: As of today, they've both won the TED prize, a $100,000 award for "exceptional individuals." Want to see JR's art?

Steve Jobs hinted Apple might use its $51 billion hoard to buy someone. Maybe Netflix or Facebook, say excited speculators. Facebook already rejected Microsoft's $15 billion, so CEO Jobs better turn on the charm. (Naturally, sugar daddy's already started.)

Everything bad is good for you: It turns out that getting drunk really quickly makes you less likely to become an alcoholic. Sadly, boozehounds, you can't just pound a bunch of drinks; you need special inebriation genes to avoid addiction.

Hillary Clinton has made a straight-person version of the "It Gets Better" videos for gay teens, in which she says, "It will get better for you." That's a better line than, say, "My gay friend alleges that it gets better."

You know what's kewl, kids? The National Security Agency sure does: it's making codes, cracking codes, hanging out in Qatar, and monitoring the online activities of your loved ones constantly. The NSA's totally boss cartoons will school you.

The Defense Department acknowledged today that it's allowing openly gay people to join now, following a court decision—still under appeal—that struck down "Don't Ask Don't Tell." Openly straight people are still allowed to join, too.

A miracle of technology has allowed us to see Jessica Alba naked, even though she swore never to go nude in a movie: She filmed a Machete shower scene in her undies, which retouchers later peeled off, with computers.

Beautiful moments ahead: Girls Gone Wild impresario and Douche of the Decade Joe Francis is finally "tying the knot" with his beloved, CBS Entertainment reporter Christina McLarty. In a "civil domestic partnership." We're invited! Well—to the "press epicenter."

According to a new study, the country lost $32.9 billion in 2007 from delayed flights, including $8.3 billion in added expenses for airlines. Maybe airlines could save cash making their flights run on schedule before charging us $25 a bag?

This is the Obamarator, a vibrator modeled after the 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Obama. It can be yours! All you have to do is write a dirty story starring the Commander in Chief.