Washington's most famously corrupt (former) mega-lobbyist, Jack Abramoff, is gradually re-entering the public following his prison sentence. Last we checked in, he was on work-release at a Baltimore pizza place, and now he's on Facebook. We're still awaiting friendship confirmation.

The New York Post's gossip column Page Six issued a correction today but it still hasn't caught two mistakes it made the day before yesterday. Is new editor Emily Smith really ready to take over the storied gossip column?

Does the Justice Department really need to appeal the recent decision that found "Don't Ask Don't Tell" unconstitutional, under its duty to defend existing federal law? Eh, not really, says ex-solicitor general Ted Olson, of Prop 8 trial fame.

Google shaved $3.1 billion off its taxes the past three years with elaborate overseas tax shelters known as "the Double Irish" and "the Dutch Sandwich." That might sound kinky, but a tax professor says it's serious business: "They're perpetuating evil."

NPR has really done it now: They actually fired an employee, Juan Williams, for making insensitive comments about Muslims on television. Is this the American way? Former GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, for one, wants NPR stripped of public funding.

Here's a teaser trailer for Scream 4, a continuation of the slasher saga that began fourteen long years ago. We're back in Woodsboro and, in addition to the surviving regulars, we're saddled with a whole new cast of youngsters.

Kevin Jonas, the freakiest member of funk-metal band The Jonas Brothers, is selling his Westlake, Texas home for $2.2 million. Imagine the insane sexual craziness that went down between those walls. I'll bet you can almost smell the debauchery.

Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell told Good Morning America today that she regrets saying "I'm not a witch" to open her first ad, because instead of killing the rumor, it just inflamed it. Imagine! Give that campaign manager a raise.

Els Clottemans, a 26 year-old mentally unstable Belgian skydiver, has been sentenced to 30 years for murdering a woman with whom she shared a lover by disabling the woman's parachute. Love triangles in parachute clubs are a dangerous game.

Mexican authorities yesterday flew in journalists, dignitaries and college kids to watch the burning of 134 tons of marijuana — much of which was seized earlier this week near Tijuana. It was a statement to drug cartels, or something.

Longtime NPR contributor Juan Williams has had his contract severed by the radio network! Because, guess what, he made some stupid comments about Muslims on Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor. (Spoiler: He is scared of them.)

Penthouse Founder Bob Guccione has died of cancer. He was 79. Guccione was once one of America's richest men because he published a softcore porno mag where women actually showed their vaginas. Then the Internet happened. [Image via AP]

Jon Stewart was on Larry King Live tonight. In between Stewart's relentlessly mocking of CNN, Larry King managed to present him with a gift: One porta-potty for The Daily Show's Rally to Restore Sanity.

Kanye West showed off his diamond teeth to Ellen DeGeneres yesterday, sparking a whole new round of speculation about his expensive dentures. One dentist thinks his diamond teeth are as bad for his health as they are for his ego.

"Patient Zero," the Los Angeles porn star whose positive HIV test shut down four studios, apparently did not affect any of his or her partners. The first round of tests, at least, indicates as much.

A New York couple is suing Guinness heiress and fashionista Daphne Guinness for repeatedly flooding their multimillion dollar apartment with her overflowing bathtub. The lawsuit would ban her from taking baths. What is she doing in there?

Three months after its slutty debut, JWOWW's Filthy Couture has shuttered following a lawsuit from a similarly-named company. JWOWW took to Twitter today to announce she has a line launching this fall for everyone who can't live without lace bikinis.

An anonymous third-year student at Boston College Law School has sent an open letter to the school's dean offering to leave school after this semester in exchange for a full refund, because the job scene is so bleak. Seems fair?

The vast Right Wing Conspiracy will convene in January, according to a personal invitation that infamous billionaire Charles Koch recently sent to his rich friends. There they will plot to stop the Obama agenda, perhaps with Glenn Beck giving instructions.

Last week, a group of Norwegian chefs broke the record for the world's largest sushi mosaic at the Shanghai World Expo. Here's a time-lapse video of the six-hour process—minus the smell of sushi sitting around for hours.