Bucking the long-held Hollywood tradition of celebrities giving their kids insane names, butterscotch stallion Owen Wilson and his girlfriend have dubbed their new son Robert Ford Wilson. That's it. Yes, a slight outlaw association, but nothing weirder. Rather amazing!

The National Enquirer knows why President Obama is "scary skinny": He's "secretly battling stomach parasites." Worms slurping at the lining of your stomach: hot new D.C. diet craze! We hear Joe Biden swears by the festering maggot cleanse. [Previously]

He even thought they could edit it out! This actress was seated between her husband and her lover at the Globes, and this actress is obsessed with her flaws. She can't edit them out either.

Heavily accented internet mogul Arianna Huffington is, at last, speaking out on the wanton airplane Blackberry incident that had police questioning her earlier this month. To her credit, she's contrite. She's also disingenuous.

New York City has the biggest income disparity of any big city in America. In completely unrelated news: guess how much Goldman Sachs pays it partners? Just try to guess!

Why did 21-year-old Marc Higgins of Bristol, Conn. stab four people at a party? Partly because he was "very drunk." And partly because of his farts.

It's happened before, of course, and I'm not blaming anyone here, except maybe God. It must be very tempting, when you have this tiny, stupid little person hanging around your house, to make it do hilarious things like wear sunglasses, and smoke marijuana. Why not? You own your kid, more or less. It already loves dumb colorful TV shows. And your baby has so much free time!

An incendiary device found along the route of a Martin Luther King Day parade in Spokane, Wash., was "likely capable of inflicting multiple casualties," the FBI said today.

In September, a "Narcotics Strike Force" burst into the Utah home of 45-year-old Todd Blair. Blair, "armed" with a golf club, was shot within seconds. Police found "paraphernalia" and an empty vial of meth. Here's video of the raid.

It turns out the third-largest advertiser across MySpace and Facebook was a scam to switch people's search engines to Bing and then collect affiliate fees from Microsoft. It's yet another example of how social networks are rife with shady operators.

Steve Jobs took a secret flight to Switzerland in 2009 for cancer treatment, reports Fortune, suggesting a radical, all-out fight against his ailment. Fortune agreed to keep this a secret, but now that their source is dead, the deal's off.

To stop the spread of Western culture, Iranian officials have banned the sale or production of any goods related to Valentine's Day, which has become increasingly popular with Iranian youth. Would it be possible to introduce a similar moratorium here?

TMZ acquired an email allegedly showing Charlie Sheen hiring a hooker in Las Vegas. Gone are the days of Heidi Fleiss! New media has empowered men to find and hire hookers by themselves, on websites like CityVibe.com.

A cross-country skier found a roll of film in Brooklyn's Prospect Park after the December 26th blizzard and, curious, developed the film. Now he's trying to track down the unknown photographers, using the power of YouTube. Help him, won't you?

To succeed in America, you must get a college degree. To get a college degree, you must go into a soul-crushing amount of debt. And what do you get for all that money? Not learning. College kids don't learn stuff.

Before he rose to notoriety as the founder of Penthouse magazine, Bob Guccione allegedly wrote letters soliciting customers to buy his dirty photos at the bargain rate of 10 photos for $2 under the pseudonym of "Robert Gucci."

Piers Morgan's CNN talk show debuted last night with 2.1 million viewers, compared to a 657,000 average in that time slot last quarter. (Although reviews sucked.) Thanks, Oprah fans! Unfortunately, Piers, it's all going to be downhill from here.

Last week we published the disembodied testicle pictures that prompted Philadelphia magazine to fire editor Larry Platt. Consequently, Philly staffers dug up other Plattian treats—like these pictures of Platt dropping his pants. [Update: Platt's response below.]

Hours before taking the oath of office yesterday, Governor-elect of Alabama Robert Bentley gave a speech saying that he intends to unite Alabamans and that he is "color blind." Everyone felt great! Then Bentley said he wants everyone to convert.

Former Nixonite and Fox News mastermind Roger Ailes is extremely paranoid, hyperpartisan, and quite possibly insane. He never struck us as the sensitive type. But according to a new Esquire profile, Ailes spends much of his time being downright hurt.