Kim Kardashian deploys a team of tailors to sew her butt into her dress. Eva Longoria's new boyfriend has an "Eva" tattoo. Charlie Sheen passes two drug tests. Prince Harry will be Prince William's best man. Monday gossip busts out.

This sports star dates women publicly, but he's already given his heart to another man. This on-screen couple is being blackmailed with naked pictures by a prostitute, and this banker thinks he is more important than he really is. They're all just playing the game.

Following the popular uprisings in Tunisia and Egypt, countries all across the Middle East and North Africa are seeing small but growing anti-government protests, proving that the status quo is no longer sustainable. Here's a quick look at what's happening today in the region:

What's the proper way to fight off a tiger in the jungle? Aside from shooting it with a very large gun, I have no clue. But a 60-year-old Malaysian man named Tambun Gediu found one way to survive a tiger attack last week, according to the New Straits Times:

"I love old photos," photographer Irina Werning writes. "As soon as I step into someone else's house, I start sniffing for them." Last year, Werning asked friends and family to "re-enact" old photos of themselves for an ongoing project, which she christened "Back to the Future." This is Pancho, in 1983 and again in 2010, in Buenos Aires. (Werning's collection is reminiscent of fellow photographer Ze Frank's Young Me Now Me project—which, like Back to the Future, shot to the top of Reddit—but with even more exacting production values.)

If you were just Googling "Esperanza Spalding"—tonight's surprise winner of the Grammy for Best New Artist—you may have been surprised to learn from her Wikipedia page that "SHE IS F****** REATARD," or that her middle name is either "Justin" or "Quesadilla," or, for that matter, that she beat out "Nominee and gay favorite Justina Bieber" for the award. Well! Far be it from us to cast aspersion on the accuracy of a user-edited font of knowledge like Wikipedia, but it certainly seems possible that fans of losing nominee Justin Bieber (or, perhaps, people who like to throw poop around the internet) may have been "vandalizing" her Wikipedia page, adding possibly-untrue facts like:

Pamela Geller, the most vocal of the activists opposed to the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque" to be built two blocks from the former site of the World Trade Center, said Friday that the Conservative Political Action Conference she was speaking at had itself been "corrupted" and "compromised by Muslim Brotherhood activists."

What's musician/party god Andrew W.K. doing for the Grammys? Crashing anarchic image-board 4chan by "partying too hard"—that is, hanging out and answering questions, apparently. W.K. popped by the site's music board /mu/ (bearing a site-standard identity-verifying photograph) and answered a few questions over two different threads, in the process slowing the whole site down and causing brief outages. The first one, which was locked is here; the second is here.

Lady Gaga arrived at the Grammys tonight inside of a translucent cocoon, carried on a litter by a troupe of shirtless gogo dancers. There was absolutely nothing remarkable about this. In fact, bystanders were surprised that the usually flamboyant Lady Gaga chose to wear such a run-of-the-mill outfit on the red carpet.

19 year-old Corey Christian Adams raped a girl in West Chester, Pennyslvania while she was blackout drunk. When she called him up and confronted him about it afterwards, he post a Facebook status update asking for help dealing with his victim: "I got 500 on a girls head who wants that bread? Hit me up anyway possible." After police confronted him about the allegations, he wrote another post saying that he "needed this girl knocked off right now."

James Franco, the man who boasts more slashes than a Freddie Kruger victim, is now a singer. He and his performance art partner Kalup Linzy have a musical duo, Kalup and Franco. They've yet to put out an EP, but one of their tracks, "I Love You" recently closed out a New York Fashion Week show.

The Times today has a fascinating account of the lengths some companies go to game Google's search algorithm and get their websites listed higher on results. Times reporter David Segal looked into why J.C. Penney was ranked No. 1 in a suspiciously high number of searches. Turns out they, or someone working on their behalf, were paying to have thousands of links to J.C. Penney planted on spammy backwater websites. Google unwittingly took these links as legitimate and J.C. Penney was catapulted to the top of the search ranks, just in time for the 2010 Holiday shopping season.

Just before 3 am on Friday at the Bowery Poetry Club, a private Fashion Week kick-off party was starting to wind down. Hundreds of drunk partygoers had left or were on their way out, while several took turns puking and sleeping on the sidewalk nearby. But the dedicated stayed put, waiting for the night's rumored special guest, Harlem rapper Cam'ron.

Last week, the loose-knit hacking collective Anonymous stole over 50,000 emails from security researcher Aaron Barr. Now they're launching the Wikileaks-style Anonleaks.ru, to make it easy for anyone to browse Barr and his colleagues' private emails. Want to read the excruciating love letter a security company executive sent her husband?

Here's a picture of Tea Party queen Michele Bachmann and perennial "Rent Is 2 Damn High" candidate Jimmy McMillan at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington today. The photo appeared in a Bachmann staffer's Facebook feed today. Details of what the two discussed did not. Alas.

It is that time again to participate in a caption contest, for a chance to win some classy prizes. We're giving away two prints from photographer Frank Zurita.

Treat yourself to a movie this chilly February weekend, because of all the things to do to keep warm, sitting in a movie theater is one of the more wholesome. Opening in theaters today we have Jen Aniston pretending she's married, Justin Bieber pretending he cares about his fans, and Channing Tatum and Jamie Bell pretending they haven't noticed what's happening between them.

The All the Real Girls goddess has signed on to a pretty bland- and regular-sounding Fox sitcom, which is too bad. Also today: Tom Cruise is about to get musical, Gerard Butler continues to annoy and confuse, and Miley Cyrus destroys SNL.

Egypt has finally dumped its arrogant, paternalistic dictator of three decades in the largest country in the Arab world. That's quite an achievement for a suppressive police state after only two to three weeks of protests that weren't very organized to begin with. But what comes next? Will pure democracy just kind of "appear"? Or does an impossible process of constitutional negotiations between the people, the army, the Muslim Brotherhood, business leaders, and foreign powers need to take place over the next year before anything even approaching a stable and responsive political system emerges? Unfortunately it's that second scenario, the "impossible process of constitutional negotiation" one, that's realistic.

We don't think Mark Zuckerberg or Facebook deserve any thanks for their role in Egypt's protests—given that role consisted mainly of kicking activists off Facebook for using pseudonyms. But Wael Ghonim, the Google engineer who was kidnapped by the regime and has become the youthful face of the protests, wants to personally thank Zuckerberg: