We must beg your apologies for a brief delay in bringing you the very latest news in College Professor In-Class Sex Demonstration Scandals, but we think you'll be pleased with the most recent developments in the field. Jack Rappaport, an assistant professor of management at La Salle University in Philly, has been suspended while the school investigates allegations that he hired strippers to give lap dances at a $150 extra-credit symposium on "the application of Platonic and Hegelian ethics to business." What?

The tabloids of New York are currently having a tabloid party over the grisly murder of Sarah Coit, a pretty young blonde living in Manhattan who was savagely hacked to death Sunday by her boyfriend—a celebrity publicist.

Some upbeat news for the Japanese tourism industry: The country may have just upgraded their ongoing nuclear disaster to Chernobyl-levels, but as of this coming Friday, Tokyo Disneyland will reopen its gates to visitors.

Two planes collided at JFK tonight when an Air France Airbus A380—the world's largest commercial passenger jet—clipped a much smaller plane while taxiing on the runway.

Death to porcupines! Those cactus-rodent hybrids have tyrannized man since the dawn of time. But one state has finally mustered the courage to stand up to them: Pennsylvania, we salute thee.

Not twelve hours after its announcement and serious, damaging questions are already being raised about the campaign of former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney. Specifically: Did Romney steal Aquafresh's nurdle?

During the fight over the federal budget, Republican Senator Jon Kyl stated that over 90% of the services performed by Planned Parenthood were abortions. Over the weekend, the folks at Fox & Friends said that Walgreens offered many of the same services as Planned Parenthood. On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert hilariously debunked them both.

With less than an hour to go before a total government shutdown, Congress reached a temporary budget compromise on Friday night. So how'd the media treat the showdown, both before and after the deal was hashed out? Here's Jon Stewart's take on the coverage.

D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray and 40 other protesters—including members of the city council—were arrested by Capitol Police on Monday after they blocked Constitution Avenue near the Capitol in protest of aspects of the budget deal reached by Congress which limit the city's autonomy, specifically prohibiting the use of DC public funds for abortions.

On last week's Dancing with the Stars, Kirstie Alley fell down after partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy's leg gave out from under her. On tonight's live performance episode, the former TV star suffered yet another embarrassment when her shoe came off mid-dance. Where's Xenu when you need him?

If you're wondering—as we so often are—how future governments will enforce keep the worker/organ-farm classes in line, look no further than this video, in which a New Scientist editor is prevented from speaking by a magnetic field.

Next time you're at your local Costco, you know, buying that 5 lb. box of Swedish Fish, stocking up on frozen shrimp, maybe trying on wedding dresses, and ogling the cut-price flatscreens, maybe you want to pick up a diamond ring while you're at it—a $1 million diamond ring. Yup.

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss refuse to drop their grudge against Facebook. The Harvard alumni twins said they will appeal today's smackdown by a panel of federal appeals judges, seeking review by all judges in the Ninth Circuit. Ugh.

Bodies just keep turning up on Long Island, where police are searching for a serial killer (who is "maybe" a cop himself) believed to be responsible for the deaths of at least four prostitutes. Today, a police dog uncovered a bag stuffed with "upper and lower extremities" about three miles from where the police had found the first four bodies (not to be confused with the second set of four bodies, none of which has been identified and may not even be the work of the same killer, although, come on); a few hours later, cops uncovered a human skull, which would—if the skull and the "upper and lower extremities" didn't belong to the same person—bring the total number of bodies uncovered to ten. [NYT; image via AP]

An Indonesian politician whose party sponsors anti-porn legislation has resigned after being photographed watching porn in parliament on his tablet computer. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he used the old "I just opened a link in an email" excuse.

There are widespread reports in the Chinese press that Facebook may circumvent China's ban on Facebook.com by partnering with the dominant local search engine Baidu to create a "new," jointly owned social network. Ten Yuan to one says this new social network will work in a manner suspiciously similar to Facebook.com. Facebook is slippery like that. [BI, image via Getty]

NBC News hero Brian Williams made us laugh last year with a very funny takedown of the New York Times' constant trend reporting on magical bobo borough Brooklyn. Well, he's at it again, only he's skipping the Times stuff and aiming squarely at Brooklyn this time.

Lots of people are talking about Lady Gaga's new video for her song "Judas," including the creative director who worked on the project and the Catholic League, which is up in arms like usual. They disagree on the video's message, but there's one thing everyone will soon be able to agree on: Lady Gaga is ripping off Madonna again.

As she closes in on a possible presidential run, gleefully ignorant Tea Party queen Michele Bachmann says she isn't doing this for self-aggrandizement. She is doing this to save America, in one presidential term or less:

In lieu of drafting a letter to the editor or posting a comment, Donald Trump has responded to a Vanity Fair blog post by printing it out, writing insults on it, and mailing it to editor Graydon Carter with an embossed calling card. He's the closest thing America has to royalty.