Willard "Mittens" Romney is nothing if not America's most generous and dedicated philanthropist, always searching for the newest health research institutes, arts centers, and presidential campaigns for himself to dump all of his old Pratt-Romney family fortune into. Actually, we have no idea if he's a philanthropist. But he did send some leftover pizza to the Obama Campaign yesterday, so that's something, right?

Kara DioGuardi describes a terrible trip. Lindsay Lohan begins another stint under house arrest. Kim Kardashian's 20-carat engagement ring looks like a ring pop. And new rumors about Rihanna and Chris Brown. It's TGIFriday gossip.

Lady Gaga kicked off Good Morning America's Summer Concert Series today before a record crowd in Central Park. The spectacle wasn't without its technical difficulties, though, as Gaga failed to appear on stage until near the end of her opening number due to a stubborn zip-line.

These two siblings hate each other and now one is threatening to cut off the less successful sib and their parents. This actor is a real animal lover and finds new homes for rescued animals. If only there was so much love in that other family.

In May of 2009, Oklahoma City pharmacist Jerome Ersland was at work when two teenagers came in to rob his store. What happens is caught on the surveillance video above:

A 54-year-old Colorado man was arrested in Thailand and could face up to 15 years in prison for a very serious crime: He insulted the King of Thailand by linking to an unflattering biography of the monarch on his his blog four years ago. From The Straits Times:

Back in April, Arizona governor Jan Brewer floated the idea of charging a $50 fee for fat, childless, smoking Medicaid recipients. What the hell is $50 going to do to offset rising statewide Medicaid costs, you might ask? That'll pay for a whole 20 pack of Depend® adult diapers! But that's not exactly what they're going for. Basically they want to hunt down every lonely, hoarding cat lady in the state to extort them into shape. The Times did a Q and A with the spokeswoman for Arizona's Medicaid, Monica Coury:

Members of a cheerleading team from a high school in Washington state are suspended for hazing the new recruits. And what, pray tell, does a cheerleader hazing consist of in these tough economic times?

Daily Beast contributing piece-fluffer Meghan McCain was grilled by the NYT Magazine on everything from body image ("I wake up every morning with large breasts...") to recurring dreams ("a giant squid... he scares me.").

Oprah Winfrey ended her talk show yesterday, as you undoubtedly know. But that doesn't mean David Letterman is going to give up his obsession with the (ex?) Queen of Daytime. On tonight's Late Show, Letterman devoted his Top 10 list to her, and also made her the focus of a bit that involved two stagehands reading a Martha Stewart-themed Oprah script in dramatic fashion.

Back in January, Newsweek placed Grand Rapids, Michigan on a list of America's "Dying Cities." Naturally, many Grand Rapids natives (like yours truly!) were outraged by the grievous attack on the office furniture capital of the world. (It's true.)

When Bill O'Reilly began his rant about Kim Kardashian tonight by describing her as someone who became "very famous in America for pretty much doing nothing"—which is actually a true statement for once!—you knew it wasn't going to end well for Kim. It didn't, as O'Reilly then blasted Kardashian for strutting around with a $2 million engagement ring.

An elementary school principal from Iowa is being investigated by the sheriff's office and school board for his tradition of delivering "birthday whammies" to students as young as seven with a padded hockey stick (pictured).

Police in Mishawaka, Indiana were called to a local park after locals said they'd spotted a man sunbathing nude. When they arrived, they saw the glistening anatomy of one Michael Donte Booth — a self-described "jazz/lounge/R&B" singer, seen here singing Peggy Lee's "Why Don't You Do Right." Booth was "acting very unusual," police would later say, and was apparently wearing nothing but a coat of extra virgin olive oil.

Mark Zuckerberg has begun personally slaying animals for food, part of a resolution to fully appreciate the meat he eats. The Facebook CEO's slaughter has been wide ranging, claiming a goat, pig, chicken and a lobster.

A one-time reality also-ran is now getting the chance to be in the spotlight twice. Also today: trouble at The X Factor, three actors spark up doobies over at Weeds, and Oprah is bigger than ever.

Five Italian seismologists and a government official are on trial for manslaughter for not predicting a major earthquake that hit a town in April of 2009. Seismologists have sort of a different job in Italy!

There are not any funny jokes to be made about alleged sexual assault. On the other hand, this 2009 photo of alleged sexual assaulter Dominique Strauss-Kahn meeting the Obamas is pretty funny, now. Ace job with the gentle restraint there, Prez. Because you know that Dominique Strauss-Kahn! Always (allegedly) goin' nuts around the ladies (unless a court of law determines otherwise).

Facebook really doesn't want you criticizing its technology. Especially via a domain name you bought for that very purpose. That's why the social network has assumed control of such incredibly specific domain names as IHateTheFacebookLikeButton.com. Paranoid much?

Well-branded big box retailer Target—a staunchly anti-union company—is now the target of a union campaign. Yesterday, we asked for Target workers to send us their stories of life on the inside. The response was fairly overwhelming.