In yet another one of what's becoming a series of bizarre interviews pegged to Fox News Channel's 15th anniversary, fat dick Roger Ailes reveals why he hired snowbilly grifter Sarah Palin: "She's hot."

Kristen Stewart instructs an interviewer to google her love life. Rachel Uchitel gets married. Kim Kardashian renews her vows. Blake Lively rides a train with Ryan Reynolds. Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler reunite. Wednesday gossip cultivates an air of mystery.

When Gawker started experiencing technical issues yesterday, we thought Anonymous might have snuck into our server room and poured Doritos into all the machines. Well, it turns out lots of big websites had outages yesterday.

One-time Real World: Key West star turned bloated MTV Challenge hang-about John Devenanzio, aka Johnny Bananas, is following through on a threat made this summer and suing HBO for privacy violation, defamation, and emotional damage because the show Entourage created a fake cartoon called Johnny's Bananas.

The most shocking thing about this starlet making out with her makeup artist isn't that she's a lesbian, but she was hooking up with the help! Also, there is loads of intrigue on your mom's favorite show, Dancing with the Stars. Seems like everyone is kissing and making up.

The Occupy Wall Street protest that began three weeks ago in Lower Manhattan has spread to Chicago, Los Angeles, Boston and many cities in between. Here are some images from "Occupy" protests all over the country from the past few days.

Johnny Depp says he's deeply sorry—or Depply sorry—for telling Vanity Fair that having one's picture taken "feel[s] like you're being raped somehow. Raped... It feels like a kind of weird—just weird, man." As it turns out, he was wrong.

The Washington, D.C.-based Partnership for Civil Justice Fund has filed a federal class action lawsuit against New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg, the city, NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly, and a bunch of unidentified cops and law enforcement agents over Saturday's controversial kettling-fest and mass arrest of protesters on the Brooklyn Bridge.

The folks at British Pathé have just posted this video, filmed in Paris in 1949, in which the (unionized) members of Monsieur Roberts' Tame Flea Circus fleas pull miniature cars and bicycles, lift weights, and cause a whole roomful of people to scratch themselves. Also, a man arranges a bunch of car-carrying fleas on his arm into a traffic formation. Considering how bloodthirsty fleas usually are, this is way more daring than any of the circus tricks.

So far 18 people have died from killer cantaloupes tainted with listeria, out of at least 100 cases. Now, the good news: most of the death melons are out of the food supply by now. Deep breaths. [Image via Shutterstock]

Everybody say "dobry den" (that's "hello") to SuperVaclav (not to be confused with Super Vaclav, or OtherVaclav)—the Czech Republic's latest superhero, and the only one we know of whose primary superpower involves smearing dog poop on impolite dog walkers and then running away before he gets his ass kicked.

Remember how L.A. firefighters offered up the use of their truck to a porn company who used it to make cinema? Their artistic collaboration happened in 2008, so they're off the hook under the city charter's statute of limitations.

On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert surveyed the current Republican presidential field with a disapproving eye—even referring to longtime favorite Rick Perry as "Texas Toast"—before revealing his plan to support New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. If only Christie hadn't already decided to not enter the race!

Well, this was uncomfortable. On tonight's Late Show, David Letterman interviewed '80s movie star-turned-alcoholic flameout Sean Young. The chat was bizarre from the onset—Young described disciplining her teenage sons with a horsewhip—and then turned downright sad as Young pleaded for work with anyone who'd consider hiring her. The saddest part? The video clip that Young shared of her dressed up in a Catwoman suit, screaming "I'm not crazy!" to random passers-by.

So, like, Kim Kardashian and her husband Kris Humphries were totally on The Tonight Show this evening and, like, they were sitting there and stuff and then Jay Leno asked Kim about things Kris does that, like, annoy her and she was all "He totally barks like a dog!" So then Kris goes, "Nuh-uh" and she was all "Um, yeah," and then we all shook our heads in collective shame for allowing these people to become famous.

So, here is the kind of care you can expect if you are a migrant worker in China who cuts off his own thumb in an accident: The doctor will, over your objections, replace the missing thumb with one of your toes. Aaaaand... that's basically it. You say your foot hurts and your new thumb-toe is useless? No, sorry, that's actually not true: "Huiyang Bone-setting Hospital... insists that the thumb has recovered." We tend to agree with this commenter: "Strongly recommended that the doctor transplant his buttocks onto his head!" [ChinaSmack]

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's confirmation today that he would not seek the 2012 Republican presidential nomination was a relief to Mitt Romney, who stood to lose out most if Christie entered the race. But as Jon Stewart explained on tonight's Daily Show, Romney's history of switching positions on key issues stands in his way more than a fat guy from Jersey ever could: "Mitt Romney has a bit of a problem... to win the Republican nomination, he has to convince Republican voters he's not actually Mitt Romney."

Meet Amy Blose, a 37-year-old married mother of two who was arrested this week for attempting to contact a 13-year-old boy who she's been accused of sexually assaulting. Her method of contact: Burrito.

Probably no one has ever been happier to see Seattle than Amanda Knox was this when she touched down at Tacoma this evening, a day after having her murder conviction overturned in Italy.

Asked about his iPad, Barack Obama made sure ABC News' George Stephanopoulous knew "Steve Jobs actually gave to to me a little bit early. Yeah, it was cool. I got it directly from him." Then he blushed, swear to God.