As we all know, Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul. But was he too jolly? Police in Chesterton, Md. believe so, and yesterday arrested Frosty at the annual Christmas parade for disorderly conduct.

By tweaking the H5N1 bird flu virus a bit, a Netherlands-based virologist and his crew have created a highly contagious version that, if ever unleashed upon the general population, could kill millions of us. But don't fret! Their research, like that one Rolling Stones documentary, hasn't been released to the public. At least not yet, anyway.

Miley Cyrus is smoking more than just salvia. Prince William saves two lives. Brad and Jennifer narrowly miss an awkward run-in. Sunday gossip is going to go hang out in the cemetery.

Paying for a first class ticket earns you a lot of privileges that you won't get in coach. Free booze! Comfortable seats! Plenty of room! But there are still some rules that apply in both sections. Like, for example, the prohibition on checking out child porn on your laptop.

The old trolls at the Manchester Union Leader—New Hampshire's largest paper—have endorsed Newt Gingrich in the state's upcoming Republican primary. But the pundits on Twitter still had questions! Questions like, who is the union leader who is endorsing Newt?

Maybe you were visiting with family all week and couldn't check your favorite Gawker Media sites. Or maybe they're all still around and you could use a distraction. Whatever the case, we've got you covered. Here are some of the best videos we watched during the week that was.

If you're looking for bad news on this Black Friday, you're probably Googling "Walmart." The massive discount retailer has been the scene of injuries, arrests, pepper-spraying and general pandemonium at locations across the country today.

For its December 5 issue, Time Magazine is running a cover story in the U.S. titled "Why Anxiety Is Good for You." They thought you should know that your frazzled, overworked or underemployed, recession-tempered emotional state will eventually produce personal benefits. You just have to be patient.

Yesterday's zeitgeist-iest Black Friday shopper—the California Walmart-woman who allegedly pepper-sprayed a crowd of fellow Xbox seekers, creating the scene captured in this video—surrendered to the authorities Friday night, but was released without charge. Before she left the police station, officers asked her for pepper-spraying protips.

Here's a sweet Australian ad for—well, I don't want to ruin the surprise (you will probably be able to guess what's going to happen anyway), except to say that the United States could stand to see more campaigns like this.

Let's not allow the pepper-spray clouds, bullet showers, and mounds of bloody Brawny towels to obscure our view of the hard-working cashiers, stockers, and other retail workers who staffed the stores and enabled Black Friday to happen. How did they fare yesterday?

Kris Humphries' stunning pattern of gas-passing is revealed. Jennifer Lopez and her boytoy escape to Hawaii. And Prince Harry is still partying out west. Saturday gossip rode Revenge of the Mummy, twice.

Bad news: The federal government has once again made it harder to find the best online shopping spots for all your counterfeit sports jersey and fake Louis Vuitton bag holiday shopping needs. Why? Because they want your family's holiday gift-giving experience to be authentic.

Four-year-old Savannah Harp can't read or write, because she's four, and you know how toddlers are (not very literate!). But that didn't stop a Safeway security guard from making her sign a document banning her from Safeway supermarkets until the end of time.

Former congressman Anthony Weiner resigned in disgrace earlier this year for sending pictures of his erect dong to various strangers on Twitter. Now, months later, attempting to rebuild his life with his pregnant wife, State Department aide Huma Abedin, he has settled on the exact worst strategy to look like a normal guy who would never even consider sending dick pics to women: growing a wispy moustache. (We understand that it's probably for "Movember," the prostate cancer-awareness event. Even so.) [images via Pacific Coast News]

Right now, several miles above the surface of the earth, a huge wheeled robot is on its way to Mars, where, armed with "rock-zapping laser," it will seek out evidence of ancient extraterrestrial life.

When 33-year-old Zainab Bibi of Pakistan allegedly killed her husband Ahmad Abbas, she had an excellent plan to dispose of his body: cook him. Unfortunately, either Bibi is a bad cook, or Abbas was a bad source of meat.

An off-duty cop reportedly sprayed "a single puff" of America's top chemical food while dealing with a disturbance at a Kinston, N.C. Walmart. A witness claims that 20 people were affected by the spritz. This sideways-angle video shows the aftermath.

Too much Holiday Family Time arousing feelings of hopelessness and despair? Here's a feelgood story to get you through the weekend: a woman who spent much of her life as a paraplegic has just become pro racing cyclist. And she's not even Lance Armstrong's cyborg sister.

Even without waffle-iron rioting and bloody police beat-downs, the standard Black Friday shopping experience is utterly terrifying. Just watch this video featuring hundreds of shoppers storming the Urban Outfitters at Thousand Oaks Mall in California and tremble at the sight of so many people running toward the khaki fashions.