Fed up with "Yuppies"—and the city officials who "allow them into the neighborhood"—some lunatic is injecting Krazy Glue into random bike locks in fauxhemian Williamsburg, for justice. "No bike is safe." Goodness. [Brooklyn Paper; Pic via]

Vice long ago morphed from a magazine about dirty hipster shit into a Corporation, which sells Cool. The fact that Vice is often referred to as "hip" is a dead giveaway of its clients lackluster levels of coolness.

Are you an LA-based cool person with "a dependable car or Vespa?" If so, you can be an intern for point-and-shoot nightlife photography conglomerate The Cobra Snake! Successful candidates will also have an "opportunity to learn about Vintage clothing."

In a magical neighborhood called Williamsburg, old meets new, religious meets artistic, cultures combine to create a wondrous...ehhh. Old Italians and young Fauxhemians behaving stereotypically, dig it!

After the IRS ordered Pabst's owners to sell, the brewer of blue-collar beverages languished on the market for years. Then something remarkable happened: hipsters discovered it. So now the guy who owns Vlasic pickles plunked down $250M to buy it.

Week Four of Brooklyn Kickball is in full effect! "Scrappy," "The Kaiser" and "The Clarkmeister" are fighting for a title against a tough field of ironically-clad competitors. They even eat cupcakes with beer in them before games. Yay! [NYP, pic]

Drinkers are apparently weary of all the fancy-pants cocktails filled with tinctures and obscure violet-based liquors. The kids these days are, apparently, enjoying a shot of whisky followed by a shot of pickle brine.

"'We know what it tastes like,' said Vermeulen, referring to victory." Fauxhemian kickball's back.

There are many reasons you might not fill out your census form: distrust of the government; questionable immigration status; illiteracy. The "young, recent graduates with ironic mustaches" of Williamsburg have apparently pioneered a new one: Being "too cool".

First Urban Outfitters started peddling them. Now, Hipster of the Decade blog Hipster Runoff notices that Walmart is selling fixed gear bicycles. It's official: The number one cause of fauxhemian crashes on Bedford Avenue is no longer cool.

This is ironic! American Apparel, the Cain to Dov Charney's Serpent (if we're to believe the Jewish version), just held a "rummage sale"—where items are sold on the street at a discount—in London. It caused a riot, naturally.

This week HBO's Horatio Alger story for hipsters fauxhemians told us that no matter how broken up you are, no matter how much of a loser you are, she will still come around to open up old wounds. Bitch.

Hipsters are dead. Long(?) live Fauxhemians.

The thoroughly unwarranted level of interest in finding word to replace "hipster" has reached a fever pitch! We gave you 20 options to choose from. The top five vote-getters are below. This vote will determine everything. So, vote.