McDonald's (formerly "The United States Department of Health") has plans for Japan. Big plans. Idaho big. With a hash brown on top.

Whoa, Subway is now selling falafel? Yes, and Chicago is ablaze with rage over it.

The lesson of this video—taken by a customer at KFC—is that one of the fast food chain's employees really, really, REALLY does not want to be recorded. And when he is recorded, he completely loses it. Watch inside.

McDonald's is "running ads to remind customers that it still sells Big Macs and Quarter Pounders." In case you forgot.

McDonald's is planning a huge expansion in China. Soon their kids will be just like ours!

If you've ever thought, "The only thing missing from sushi is an exorbitant level of calories and fat," then it's your lucky day. Here, a guy takes all of your fast food favorites and gives them an unhealthy Japanese twist.

Having conquered all of America—from Oprah fans to coed buttocks—chicken byproduct purveyor KFC now has plans to double the number of stores it has in Africa over the next three years. Ohhh, in Africa, huh?

Today on The Doctors the doctors showed the world "a new invention" from a "South Korean food restaurant." It's a cup of soda with room to put chicken nuggets. The doctors think it's terrible, but it's the greatest thing ever.

McDonald's U.S. Happy Meal sales are greater than total sales at IHOP or Dairy Queen.

The good news: Americans are starting to eat out at fast food restaurants again, celebrating our nascent economic recovery with fried flash-frozen potatoes. The bad news: one fast food giant is "rethinking" its french fries—imperiling American fry nostalgia.

[This kid in San Francisco exercises caution while opening his Happy Meal yesterday after the city passed a ban on McDonald's putting toys inside the kids' meal boxes. Image via Getty]

The month-long McDonald's McRib Resurrection starts tomorrow. You slobbering beasts.

A judge in Brazil has ruled that McDonald's must pay a man $17,500 because the man gained 65 pounds in a dozen years of employment at McDonald's. He felt "forced to sample the food each day," for quality. [AP]

Three black men are suing a Manhattan McDonald's, saying it allowed nonpaying white customers to use the restroom but denied them the same access. The New York Post's famously incisive commenters have many nuanced thoughts on this sensitive issue. [NYP]

The Way We Live Now: saving for McNuggets. Though prices may be higher, no price is too high. Not for a bite-size taste of that savory golden flesh, made of stockpiled gold, killed quickly, with no thought to looming disaster.

Minneapolis employees of the sandwich chain Jimmy John's are currently trying to unionize, which the New York Times calls "one of the few efforts to organize fast-food workers in American history." Is such a thing even possible?

Breaking! Health food activist Michelle Obama consumed a cheeseburger and french fries today. America's children just got fatter.

McDonald's locations in Hong Kong are now promoting in-house wedding ceremonies. Ronald McDonald can officiate, there's a special menu for guests, and even wedding cakes made out of either hamburgers or apple pies. That sounds friggin' delicious, no? [Photo via]

What sort of college woman would turn her body into a walking KFC advertisement by accepting $500 to wear sweatpants with "Double Down" emblazoned on the buttocks? An empowered one!

Look to your left; look to your right. One of the mild-mannered, college-educated people sitting next to you could be harboring a secret McRib Sandwich fetish. Generic machine-shaped pork product addicts are, reportedly, everywhere.