The Way We Live Now: saving for McNuggets. Though prices may be higher, no price is too high. Not for a bite-size taste of that savory golden flesh, made of stockpiled gold, killed quickly, with no thought to looming disaster.

McDonald's is raising its prices. While that may upset and shock some of you, look at it like this: it's still cheaper to eat at McDonald's than it is to get major surgery, or to starve to death. Also, this is just one more planned step in McDonald's world takeover movement, which you are all assisting with your very own "movements" (of the bowels after you ate McDonald's food which you paid big money for).

So now you can feel as if you're "part of something," even if you're really not. I mean, you could go and start investing in gold like some common Glenn Beck lunatic, and feel a part of that, but you'd be buying at the top of the market, whereas with fast food, it's always going to keep going up and up, so you won't feel bad about that $5 McChicken. And plus you have the satisfaction of knowing that the chickens were killed humanely, provided they were killed at these new humane chicken plants, which they weren't, but there's no way for you to know that, so don't even worry.

Just get a salad then, hahahaha.

But seriously, McDonald's here is probably still less expensive than in Britain, where they use "pounds" as money instead of weight and are all very austere and unemployed. If you were in Britain right now you'd only be wishing you were right back here in the USA, where large and unaccountable superpowerful corporations can secretly donate millions to political groups intent on preserving each and every last advantage bestowed upon the rich.

I mean even Goldman Sachs probably loves a nice McChicken. Cost be damned.

[Photo: jwalsh]