Everyone say "Hi Ginny!" We have a feeling we might be seeing this one again. Her name is Ginny Branch. She is profiled in this month's issue of Lucky magazine. The 24-year-old reveals that she prefers to wear clothes from the Marc Jacobs children clothing line because they better fit her petite body (an admission that's sure to earn her some friends among the female population). The problem is, while she was plugging MJ, Lucky neglected to mention that she actually works in the designer's store on Bank and West 4th. Instead, they listed her job solely as "fashion illustrator." Whoops! So much for full disclosure.

We mentioned that the ad campaign for the revolutionary new backless bra came with a promise from the male ad execs to model the product themselves. But we didn't think that such a spectacle would ever come to pass. We were wrong. After the jump, three pictures [via Adrants] of the male VIA advertising team striking thoughtful poses in bras. Jesus Christ.

Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest, a chimp-rights group, is assailing Sports Illustrated with a vicious letter-writing campaign! The group is upset that the magazine used a macaque (FANCY WORD FOR "MONKEY") and a bear in its photo shoot for this year's Swimsuit Issue [Folio]. S.I. is like, whoa! We take care of the animals, and besides, what mammal wouldn't be happy nestled up against the thighs of a swimsuit model? The two bear/ model-relations pictures, which have caused all the human outrage, after the jump. The bear does look kind of annoyed by that muzzle.

Three years ago, Williamsburg writer Jennifer Baumgardner got her controversial "I had an abortion" T-shirt onto singer Ani DiFranco, pundit Susan Estrich and feminist Gloria Steinem, and now she has new piece of sexual-issues-awareness fashion that could spark even more high-profile interest: a t-shirt reading "I was raped."

Distraught that Google employee Geoff Stearns hasn't gotten a haircut since moving to San Francisco from Brooklyn, his girlfriend has taken her appeal to the public. It seems the young Stearns has become obsessed with mullets, and is having delusions he'll become the next MacGyver — which any San Franciscan will tell you are early signs of the slippery slope that leads straight to Mission-hipsterdom. She's asking for donations for a flight back to New York to get his hair did properly, but I figured Valleywag readers could suggest someplace that will trim it up into something that says "I'm innovative, but I won't cause my new Google overlords any trouble."

Something to wear with your Kurt Cobain Converse on the way to a party at the Williamsburg Edge: a $190 Kurt Cobain t-shirt. For the sake of capitalism, let's hope this trend never ends! [Satchel of Gravel]

That ABC show "American Inventor" has, stunningly, produced a real, breakthrough product: the backless bra. No longer will women be forced to suffer the tyranny of an encircling bra strap! Maidenform is now selling the product, which originated as a finalist entry on the show, for $25. And soon, the company will be launching a big ad campaign for the bra, which includes a promise from the (male) ad executives to model it upon request [Adrants]. Something for kinks of every stripe! After countless generations of embarrassing fumbling by men and chafing upon women's backs, this campaign would have to be terrible for the product not to be a wild success. Below, a clip of the heroic inventor, Elaine Cato, demonstrating her humanitarian idea on the show last year.

After much delay, the future has arrived. Everybody's buying lasers! And, everybody's hairless! If you guessed that these two things are related, you are probably an astute female consumer of laser hair removal services. But now that the world of science fiction is here, you don't have to sit around cold, impersonal cut-rate salons to have some young whippet blast the hair off your body with concentrated pulses of scalding light; you can do it in the comfort of your own home, with no training or safety at all! We can already anticipate the hilarious domestic violence battles that will end with a laser being drawn. Two consumer-targeted lasers, the Tria ($995) and the Silk'n ($800), are about to be launched [WSJ ($)]. Just one slight drawback: these lasers are sexist and racist!

If there's one thing a mobile phone does not need, it's a "Philosophy." If there's another thing a mobile phone does not need, it's a luxury brand above and beyond whatever the brand is of the actual phone manufacturer. Of course this means that today any asshole with $550 burning a hole in his pocket can buy a Samsung phone by Giorgio Armani. Has Armani suddenly hired a team of engineers who have built a revolutionary new microchip that maximizes the phone's performance? No, Armani has done what he does best: Print his name in little letters on the phone, then wildly increase the price. This type of product's success (still going strong after six months) says a lot about the human need for validation through conspicuous consumption. But more importantly, it says that any old nonsensical piece of marketing copy can now be passed off as a statement of "Philosophy":

Do you know what defines what it means to "be true?" That's right, Nike Dunks! Not only that, but that particular shoe "HAS BECOME AN ICON OF self-expression and a symbol of DEMOCRATIC STYLE." The Revolution is Basketball! Freedom is slavery! It's a Brave New World! Nike Dunks were introduced in 1985—if it had been 1984, people might be inclined to make jokes about its dystopian advertising rhetoric. Below, a full look at the amazingly dramatic prose on a flier promoting what is just a Nike-sponsored photography show, "in the spirit of the shoe that inspires those who dare to be different." [Hypebeast]. I'd hate to see them if they really get worked up.

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Designer Doron Braunshtein, a.k.a. Apollo Braun, expresses his interest in matters political with his newest work of sweatshirt-related art. And you can too, for the low price of $129! Braunshtein, who describes himself as "very punk rock," says his message is one of love, not of assassination [NY Press]. Though he worries, "Could you imagine if Obama were killed? They might blame me. Then I'd be taken to jail and have to have prison sex." Let's all hope no such thing comes to pass! To be fair, this sweatshirt fits with a certain ongoing theme, as this picture of Braunshtein's last big t-shirt design ($250) attests:

Anna Wintour complains, in her editor's letter in the upcoming issue of Vogue, that the models at the New York runway shows are "pale and thin, entirely lacking in... joyfulness and charm." I thought that was the example the legendarily frosty fashion arbiter was herself setting.

Middling designer Kenneth Cole is upset that tawdry media outlets these days spend all their time covering sensational stories, rather than important things like, you know, his blog, for which he is plastering ads all over NYC. It's not that his underlying point is wrong—the media does specialize in "fueling the paranoia." The problem is the cognitive dissonance involved in being lectured by Kenneth Cole in a blog post titled, "Is Responsible Journalism an Oxymoron?" I'll tell you what's an oxymoron: "Kenneth Cole... good." Yea, score one for the media!

It was cringeworthy enough when pundit-turned-blogger Arianna Huffington began talking about her cronies submitting a "blog" as if the word referred to an individual post, rather than an entire site. Now another web newbie, Steven Brill's socialite daughter, is mangling the lingo. Emily Brill ran into absurd socialgay Kristian Laliberte at Bloomingdale's menswear department last night. She summoned the fashion publicist over for a photo. "Okay Kristian, get over here. Let's blog." (Laliberte's desire to promote his label, Unruly Heir, must have trumped the embarrassment of such a hanger-on.)

It's bad enough that we have to be subjected to the ordeal of companies using our dead heroes to endorse their brands. Now, the real marketing coup is securing an actual (live) world leader to wear your luxury shit for free. French president Nikolas Sarkozy has a Rolex and aviator shades. Puppet Russian president Dmitry Medvedev flaunted his collection of Franck Muller watches in a magazine spread. Socialista Venezuelan populist Hugo Chavez likes designer clothes and jewelry. Even George-freaking-Dubya goes to a special Texas cobbler for his precious "cowboy" boots [Guardian via Agenda Inc.]. Christ, next thing you know world leaders will be turning into luxury pitchmen to finance their cushy retirements! Oh yea, that already happened.

Girls... who dress casually! They're called Urbane Tomboys and they're suddenly everywhere! Our own Jezebel Moe is one! She drinks beer and swears! We learned all about this exciting new trend of girls who only wear a little bit of makeup in today's Observer. We hope someday to leave the Upper East Side for the very first time and actually see one of these bizarre boy-girl hybrids in their natural environs. [NYO]

At the GLAAD awards last night Tim Gunn, the most wonderful man alive, said that Christian Siriano, the wee fashion designer with the Sydney Opera House on his head who recently won Project Runway's fourth season, is going to be the next Marc Jacobs. I wonder if this means attendant drug problems and threesome having with hookers and porn stars. After making the comparison, he plainly stated that "We have found America's next great fashion designer. We really have. I'm confident." Heady praise for a 22-year-old! I dunno, it seems a bit impulsive to say something so sensational, so publicly, about a designer who is in such nascent stages of a career. In the end, I'm hoping he'll be more like the ever-crazier Betsy Johnson than the increasingly sane Marc Jacobs. Either way, I'm excited for someone on the red carpet to say they're wearing a dress from "Tranny, by Christian." [The Cut] Video of the little monkey creature after the jump.

Former Interview editor Ingrid Sischy profiles former fashion designer Calvin Klein for the increasingly dated Vanity Fair, at great length. It's not so much a feature as a biography, without any stunning revelations-except that the designer, whose 1980s billboards put gay iconography in Times Square, is one of the world's last remaining bisexuals. "That was a period of time when sex was everywhere, as were drugs. Not for everyone, of course. I've experienced-and I've said it before-a lot of my fantasies. I've experienced sex with men, with women. I've fallen in love with women. I've married women. And I have a family." Oh, and, in one of the moments he wasn't busy marrying women, Klein may have succumbed to the charms of Romeo, one of the models whom photographer Bruce Weber turned into a pin-up. Photograph: Calvin Klein in a 1979 ad for his label.

It sounds like Glamour is losing more than its awful womanizing blogger: An emailer tells us about five editors and a senior celebrity writer who have all left the women's magazine within the past few months, some without other jobs lined up. Crisis! Articles about "men's new sexual needs" and "the 10 greatest catfights" do not conceive, assign and massively rewrite themselves! Names and details after the jump.