It's no fun being a fashion reporter right now. Glossy mag circulations are dwindling, advertisers are jumping ship in droves, and you're likely to be humiliated in front of a TV camera at a moment's notice. But most challenging of all? You still have to somehow write about buying pretty things, despite the fact that no one is shopping anymore. So kudos to former Journal reporter Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan, who has gone beyond the played-out cheap chic and recessionista articles to identify a new species of shopper: women whose compulsive need to shop is actually exacerbated by the current economic climate.

• Salma Hayek wore a lovely gown by Balenciaga for her wedding to François-Henri Pinault, an entirely appropriate choice given Pinault's PPR happens to own Balenciaga. [Vogue UK, NYDN]
• Diane von Furstenberg says she's absolutely "mortified" that one of her jackets resembles an item designed by the Canadian label Mercy. A full investigation is underway, however. [WWD]
• "Washington, D.C., is the new New York," or so says Vogue's Billy Norwich. [Style.com]
• Sad, possibly true: "The client most crucial to luxury goods purveyors is no longer a Rockefeller but a Real Housewife of New York." [NYT]
• If your boyfriend/husband's birthday is coming up, be advised that Barneys is having a massive menswear sale next Monday. [Racked]

Is that the first murmur of a rebellion against Michelle Obama's fashion icon status? The first lady, widely admired for her cutting edge style, reportedly insisted upon deciding the looks for all of her magazine covers, even Vogue, for which she chose her own dress and used her own hair and make-up people. But if Anna Wintour was frustrated by such control freakery, she was too diplomatic to say so, unlike More editor-in-chief Lesley Jane Seymour, from whom Michelle also point-blank refused any input: "We were like, 'Excuse me, we tell you what to wear." She wanted none of that. She was creating the cover. She was creating the image. There's definitely a will of steel there." For God's sake, no one tell celebrities that such behavior might be permitted, or there'll be mutiny! Well, for the few months that print magazines continue to exist, anyway.

Accused murderer and savvy webhead Philip Markoff tried to hang himself in his cell with shoelaces, so authorities now have him wearing an insane-looking anti-suicide smock called a Ferguson, according to the Daily News.

• Is fashion in need of a bailout? Some people seem to think so! [NYT]
• The debut of Matthew Williamson's line for H&M resulted in a "mild frenzy," although it didn't reach Topshop levels of craziness. [Racked, NYM, Racked]
• Meanwhile, Williamson's debut in London attracted the likes of Sienna Miller and Mischa Barton, among others. [Vogue UK]

The noble American mall has been killed by the recession. Already dead! So is there a trend piece to be written, still? Yes. Can we sum it up in one sentence? Yes we can:

A great, great story embodying the now-gone boom days: Louis Vuitton teamed up with Japanese pop artist Takashi Murakami for an exhibit, with a pricey store. And the "prints" were just leftover scraps! Very fitting:

Long ago, two merchandising roads diverged in Hollywood, and Lauren Conrad took the pricey one less traveled by plastic reality show dolls, while Heidi Montag went cheap. Well, now Conrad is going cheap, too.

• Matthew Williamson's H&M line goes on sale tomorrow at 9AM. Prepare for a mob scene! [NYM]
• Lauren Conrad is teaming up with Kohl's to introduce "a casual California-inspired clothing line for young women." And she was kind enough to make a video about it, too. [NYT, Racked]
• It's official: Peter Copping is the new artistic director at Nina Ricci, where he'll have the unenviable task of filling the void left by Olivier Theyskens. [WWD, Style.com]
• André Leon Talley's "custom Obama tribute pin" is awfully chic, don't you agree? [FWD]

• Spring sales normally begin around Memorial Day. They're starting much earlier this year, although retailers would prefer if you called them "promotions," okay? [NYM]
• The ridiculously delayed sixth season of Project Runway—which Lifetime CEO Andrea Wong is ridiculously describing as "fashionably late"—will debut on August 20. [THR]
• What does Kate Moss do with her old Topshop dresses? She hands them off to her poor assistant, naturally! [Grazia]
• The shoot for Prada's fall ad campaign took Steven Meisel four days to complete and required the presence of a live horse. [FWD]
• Arnold Scaasi, best known for dressing Abigail Fillmore for her first public appearance as first lady in 1850, is the latest designer to complain about Michelle Obama's wardrobe. [WWD, Vogue UK]
• Is Rachel Zoe looking for an assistant on Craigslist? Possibly! [CL via Racked]

For the first time in almost a week, hipster grifter Kari Ferrell has failed to yield an amusing new bauble, and thank god for that. The Kari Ferrell meme is too weak to sustain itself.

It's a challenge that few in the fashion industry would be brave enough to undertake, since the results not only lay bare one's style acumen, but cut to the very heart of the rag trade's dependence on mythically overvalued clothes. So we applaud Parsons dean of fashion Simon Collins and designer Randi Rahm's willingness to participate in the Wall Street Journal's little game that asks: Can you identify the $1,145 designer dress, pulled from the rack at Barneys, among various cheap things including Thakoon Panichgul and Behnaz Sarafpour's lines for Target, and Comme des Garçons and Roberto Cavalli's for H&M?

Been going to interviews but failed to actually get a new job? It's not because there are umpteen as many unemployed people as openings, but because of your slobby attire and poor grooming, says a man who'd really like to give you a makeover. "Image consultant" David A. McKnight is offering jobless New Yorkers a bargain $300 session, during which you'll be offered the kind of profound wisdom that only members of a specially ordained group of bossy gays are licensed to sell: wear better clothes!

• Mayor Bloomberg has pronounced it "Sparkle Week" in NYC as part of an effort to give a boost to the jewelry industry. They sure could use the help: Retailers in the Diamond District report that sales have dropped by more than 50 percent over the past year. [NYM, Crain's]
• Jil Sander's new Madison Avenue store has opened its doors. [Racked]
• Lauren Hutton was injured while surfing a couple of weeks ago, but she's still hoping to make it to the Costume Institute ball. [NYM]
• Is Chloe Sevigny single-handedly trying to bring back the sandals-and-socks look, or was the combo of sun and booze at Coachella to blame? [Frisky, JJ]

Balmain's fall 2009 collection might be for ladies, but the fashion house's output has looked Michael Jackson-ish for some time. Now Jackson actually wears Balmain, as do his celebrity imitators. Headaches ensue. (Pic)

• Kanye West's girlfriend, Amber Rose, shows some skin (and crack) in the the new ad campaign for his Louis Vuitton line of sneakers. [NYM]
• Those empty storefronts in the far West Village? Some people seem to think it's all Marc Jacobs and Ralph Lauren's fault. [Villager]
• Speaking of Marc, the new Jacobs by Marc Jacobs collection features the work of artists with disabilities and benefits the arts. [Teen Vogue]
• Filene's Basement is now for sale, if you're interested. [Crain's]
• 7 For All Mankind opens its third NYC outpost tomorrow. [Denimology]
• The fashion business may be suffering here, but that's the case in North Korea: Retail outlets in Pyongyang have never been busier, or at least that's what the country's official news agency is reporting today. [Reuters]

Do you find the Snuggie too cliche, the Slanket too knockoff, the Sealpelt too needy, and the Peekaru too bourgeois? Do you like to wear sleeping bags as clothes? The Lippi Selk bag is for you:

• Rachel Roy has a new line—and it's one even her soon-to-be ex-husband should be able to afford: Roy is introducing a lower-priced collection for Macy's that she's named Rachel-Rachel Roy. [Shophound]
• Besties Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss and Charlotte Ronson are teaming up on a line called Shoshanna Made With Love Charlotte Ronson. [WWD]
• What does Karl Lagerfeld look like the morning? He'll fill you in: "I look like a madman, like something out of a horror movie!" [Fashionologie]
• "Bread-line chic" is all the rage these days. [NYT]

Patrician nerd George Will believes that blue jeans will be the downfall of this great country. Denim is only intended to be worn by "horny-handed sons of toil and the soil." What a prick. [Wonkette]

As department stores across the country slash the prices of designer clothes—much to the dismay of both fashion houses and smaller boutiques who can't compete with the discounts—a shocking epiphany is flashing across the minds of label-whores everywhere: Could it be true that a high-end designer dress or pair of pants isn't intrinsically worth its astronomical full-ticket price?