This has been the Decade of the Douchebag. There's no denying it. Though we've retired the term, we're bringing it back to identify the douche who was the douchiest. You get the chance to pick our winner.

Hamilton Nolan has taken frequent aim at 'pansexual' self-promoter and editor Neal Boulton's public antics, usually with a disclosure that Genre magazine never paid him $250 for a story Boulton assigned. Today, they bury that hatchet. A letter from Boulton:

Last night French lothario and self-confessed amateur pornographer Olivier Zahm had a gallery opening. We went to look at the pictures of naked ladies in the bath, on tables and peeing outside hotels. We also spoke to the man himself.

What is on the agenda of Philadelphia's most popular hero, Arthur Kade? "I need to practice riding horses, spear fighting, and sword fighting." Just like Napoleon Dynamite! But did Napoleon fend off thrown vagina with the ease of Kade?

Everyone needs to stop being so mean. Why aren't our White House Party Crashers being toasted? These guys are awesome...for America. Why?

The Secret Service is currently investigating how fameballs Michaele and Tareq Salahi crashed Obama's first state dinner, Bravo camera crew in tow. We have a theory: Their polo buddy, Indian ambassador Arun K. Singh, got them in on the DL.

Did you hear about this DC couple that crashed Obama's first state dinner last night? Michaele and Tareq Salahi—aspiring reality show stars, bedeviled vintners, polo enthusiasts and lawsuit magnets: You inspire and sadden us in almost equal measure.

Kate Major quit her job at Star after falling in "love" with Octodad Jon Gosselin and living happily ever after for a month or so. But she didn't do it on a whim; she had the world's most comical "contract!"

Paul Janka! He's still stalking women and all their various "holes." A friendly tipster has been kind enough to share with us her recent encounter with America's skeeziest, most overaggressive pickup "artist." Get waxed, baby. This is gonna hurt.

Lipdubs are the scourge of internet video, churned out by desperate would-be fameballers. But staff from Google's San Francisco office apparently can't resist making music videos, either. What workplace horrors made them turn to a sideline in Miley Cyrus impersonation?

The mysterious Purple magazine founding Frenchman will be bring his unique blend of naked ladies, naked ladies, naked ladies, famous people and black-and-white pictures to a gallery in December, reports Blackbook. It's not tits - it's ART.

Lou Dobbs wasn't the only right-wing populist to attempt a dramatic CNN exit last night. Unfortunately, he's the only one who succeeded, because former Miss California and Christianist poster girl Carrie Prejean can't even throw a proper on-set hissy fit.

Philadelphia heartthrob Arthur Kade, on the new Amelia Earhart biopic: "It was like watching Arthur Kade in the [1930s] with a vagina and shorter hair." He's good, he's really good! Why, these words could have come from the aviatrix herself:

We knew Julia Allison was doing ads for Sony, but did you know Sony's actually putting Julia Allison in ads shown on television, where everyone can see them? And she's allowed to sit next to real live famous people? Odd.

Drue Kataoka sells engulfing quick dips in art and culture to rich Silicon Valley workaholics. Now she's selling the ultimate fast immersion: the chance to "leave your mark" on Kataoka's art during a private jet ride.

You have probably slept with this man. He's French! He founded Purple magazine! He hangs out with famous people! He accidentally mentioned that Beatrice Inn is reopening! He wears the same clothes every day! He takes pictures of naked ladies!

Julia Allison has broken up with her unlikely boyfriend, Christopher "Toph" Eggers. Yes, that Eggers: the younger brother of author Dave Eggers written about in Eggers' breakthrough memoir A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

Rowland apparently started something called Project Migration this past summer. The organization sells products "made by single mothers in Africa;" proceeds ostensibly help improve their water supply and health care. And, what do you know, this effort just happens to require a professional photo shoot starring one Hilary Rowland (see attached video), which the sometime model just happened promote to her public Facebook wall:

Accustomed to being paid for doing absolutely nothing, reality television performance artist Heidi Montag refused to attend her own sister's birthday without compensation. What's the union rate for siblings?

Bitches want Philly fakeball Arthur Kade to take them to dinner in order to get inside their drawers. That's not Kade Style; but his little SEX DROUGHT is getting pretty bad. How bad?