Who's the Douche of the Decade?
This has been the Decade of the Douchebag. There's no denying it. Though we've retired the term, we're bringing it back to identify the douche who was the douchiest. You get the chance to pick our winner.
There was a time when Gawker threw around the term "Douchebag" with pride; indeed, we once created a Douchebag Hall of Fame to honor those who most embodied the ineffable nature of a douchebag. We retired the term at the end of last year. But it would be unfair to let this decade—the only decade we've existed—pass without honoring one single Douchebag who most embodied this decade's most lamentable traits. Below, 15 people from Gawker history who best embody the title, in alphabetical order. Do your research, then vote. It's the most important vote you'll cast all decade.
Dov Charney: American Apparel CEO. Famous perv. Hater of unattractive employees. Lover of naked employees. America's skeeviest fashion executive. Dov Charney.
Donny Deutsch: Ad man. Speedo wearer. TV host. Narcissistic, self-promoting big talker with a flashy package. Donny D.
Joe Dolce: Former Star editor turned celeb flack. Smug, officious enemy of Jessica Coen. Enjoyer of a bygone time when gossip hacks ruled the city. Joe Dolce.
Joe Francis: 'Girls Gone Wild' founder. Frequent target of criminal allegations. Ronn [sic] Torossian client. The walking, talking representation of male prickdom. Little Joey.
Thomas Friedman: The worst New York Times columnist. Frustratingly awful writer. Muddled thinker. Liberal warmonger. Cab driver-quoter. Pie-faced self-important bloviator of CEO-ready platitudes. The Mustache of Understanding.
Paul Janka: Serial sex-harasser. Self-described pickup artist and deluded practitioner of The Game. Greasy, rapey dude whose hand is creeping up your thigh this very moment. You know you want him. Paul Janka.
Jakob Lodwick: Protofameball. Internet creature. Back-and-forth blogger and huff-haver. Julia Allison love interest. Unexplainable in three sentences. Jake the Snake.
Tucker Max: Blogger. Bro. Bro blogger. Slut banger and vagina storyteller and Natty Light consumer. Poop movie maker. All-around unironic asshole. Tucker Max.
Bill O'Reilly: The very embodiment of Fox News. Bold fresh piece of humanity. You know him well. He does it live. Big Bill O.
John Fitzgerald Page: Atlanta's most famous online dater. Defensive man. The worst person in the world. JFP.
Andrea Peyser: Reactionary hate-filled New York Post columnist and incurable sexpot. Repressed lesbian racist Republican. Overflowing vat of sexxxy xenophobic rage. The Cat Lady.
Carrie Prejean: Donald Trump-approved sex tape star and Miss California crown-bearer. Hater of gays. Defender of breast implants and traditional American values. Odious blonde robot. Carrie Prejean.
Eric Schaeffer: He can't believe he's still single. Magnetic to the ladies. A combination of JFP's nightmare online dating profile and Paul Janka's creepy tendencies. You can't resist. Call him. Eric Schaeffer.
Ronn Torossian: Incompetent superflack chief of shady 5WPR. Legally a douche. Stands ready to kill Arabs. Known to call his own employees "You cunt." Ronn [sic].
Aleksey Vayner: Yale man with the world's worst resume package. One of the original douchebags. Champion weightlifter and tennis player and investment banker and street fighter and ballroom dancer, although he has been known to exaggerate from time to time. When you think he's gone, he comes back hard. Aleksey Vayner.